| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE IRAN WAR JOKES OF THE WEEK Being an Israeli means to get annoyed that you received an alert in which was never followed up by a siren about a ballistic missile that was on its way to kill you. I just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax. A missile fell in Bnai Brak in an open area. The Mayor is wondering where there is still an open area in the city. The heads of all the local organizations are as well on their way to find city budgets to develop it. What do you call a pig with lights and sirens on it's back? Hambulance. A missile fell in Tiverya the city planners said to leave it there. It fits in with all of the other potholes in city. A missile lands in Tiverya and takes one look and turns around and says "it looks like you did the work here already without me. 2026 the year when women in pants dropped bombs on men in dresses IRC General- Should we blow up the Nuclear Reactor in Iran? Ayatolla's heir- Not painful enough. Let's shut down school during Pesach cleaning. Iran warns Israel it has huge stockpile of cardboard Supreme leaders. Today is the tenth day which is one week and three days in the counting of Chol Hamoed Purim. Do not believe the News. The United States and Israel di not bomb Iran. It was mostly a peaceful protest against their Nuclear weapons facilities. Homeland Security has ordered a return to normal schedules conditionally. Parents can decided all children that don't help with Pesach cleaning have to return to school tomorrow. At the rate my family is eating here over the past few days. There won't be anything left to sell for Pesach. Home Front Command/ Pikud Ha'oref clarifies that a refrigerator is not a safe secure shelter. There's no need to go into it every ten minutes. Fun Fact: There have been no flights to Iran for 46 years. For over a week no all flights from Israel have only been to Iran. Talk about making up for lost time… Our Purim food is almost used up. Now what will we eat in the mamad Iran: Our missile accuracy is almost 100% 95 percent of our missiles have made direct hits with Israeli rocket launchers. Israel remains the only country in the world that knows exactly when a missile will fall, but can't tell you when the next bus is meant to arrive.
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