GOOD MORNING! "What is the shortest sentence in the English language? I am. What is the longest sentence? I do." "Marriage is like a deck of cards. It starts with two hearts and a diamond - and too often ends looking for a club and a spade." Did you ever wonder why there are so many "jokes" about marriage? There are jokes because the disharmony in marriage is ridiculous - that the relationship with the one person one chose to build a life of happiness and meaning has devolved into a source of pain, agony and distress. This week I would like to share how to relieve some of the stress in marriage by preventing arguments.
The first Rule of Marital Happiness: Don't argue. "It takes two to fight." If you don't argue back, if you answer in a soft voice ('A gentle answer turns away anger' - Proverbs 15:1), then you won't have fights. People think that they have to respond to invectives -often, either to defend themselves or as a psychological necessity to return hurt. It is important to keep focused on the goal - to stay happily married and build a life together. That was the goal when they got married and it should still be the goal. There are strategies to minimize fights and minimize the impact of the "slings of barbs and arrows."
How do you not take your spouse's insults seriously? Put it in perspective. For example, you are walking down the street past an Insane Asylum. Out walks a fellow in a patient's garb. He comes up to you and says, "You are the most inconsiderate, insensitive, self-centered human being God ever placed on this planet!" How do you feel? The normal reaction would be, "Gee. I hope he's not violent. Poor fellow. I wonder what he got committed for." If one's spouse lets loose a verbal barrage either s/he has a good point (then softly admit that you're wrong) or you are the recipient of an erroneous emotional outburst. View your spouse as experiencing a moment of temporary insanity (but don't share this with your spouse!) - and then you won't feel the pain or be drawn into a verbal brawl that you will regret. Here are some additional guidelines for happiness in marriage:
|This has got to be one of the funniest commercials ever ! (4:40 min) |
And just in time for the Christmas holidays fast approaching...Enjoy!
(and learn something guys! )
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