Sunday, June 26, 2016

Today is the first day of the rest of your life-Great American Idol

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

Query Calm People

 Would you like to become an expert on how to be calm in all sorts of challenging situations? Do not just rely on your own ingenuity. Keep asking people who appear to be calm, "Would you mind if I ask you how you are able to be so calm?" Most people will happily share their thoughts on the subject with you.

Since most people like to share their thoughts, anyone have any thoughts on recomendations on me meeting my new soul mate?

Love Yehuda Lave

Sal Valentinetti's extraordinary performance sealed the deal for Heidi Klum. ‪#‎GoldenBuzzer‬

cute new born cat


Living concrete pavement that now fixes itself--scary


Cracks and potholes can now repair themselves!



It's time for summer holidays. Who will miss you most when you're away?


A Muslim Speaks Out Against Radical Islam Dr. Quanta Ahmed in an unlikely defender of Israel and Arab women.

Is the US Navy planning to implant people with microchips? Officials consult Presidential candidate on 'merging humans and machines'

Is the US Navy planning to implant people with microchips?

Transhumanist Zoltan Istvan, from Calfornia, and presidential candidate, met with senior officials from the US navy to discuss policies on how to deal with microchip implants (pictured).

Read the full story:

16 June 2016

Panda Bear fun

Kahane on the Parsha Rabbi Meir Kahane- Parshat Shlach


"Send forth men to spy out the Land of Canaan" (Numbers 13:1). ("All 'men' mentioned in Scripture are men of importance."--Rashi)

"So I took 12 men from among you, one from each tribe" (Deuteronomy 1:23). ("From the choicest of you, from the most excellent."--Rashi)

The Children of Israel approach the Land of Canaan. It is only a matter of days before they enter it. They turn to Moses, asking him to send spies to search out the land. Moses is not displeased, for after all, one does not count on miracles. Moses agrees. But he knows that the word of G-d is true and unbreakable. He chooses, therefore, not men of great military or technical knowledge in intelligence work, but rather "men." Men of importance; men of quality; THE VERY BEST among the Jews, the heads of the tribes. These are learned men, these are righteous men, these are men who studied Torah at the feet of Moses. These are the leaders of the generation.

"Go," says Moses, "and spy out the land." He has no doubts or fears. After all, with whom are we dealing here? Little people? People of small mentalities and vision? No, we deal here with the scholars and great ones of the generation.

They return. THEY TELL THE TRUTH. They tell the entire truth. It is a fine land, a wonderful land, truly a blessed country. BUT WE CANNOT GO UP TO IT; WE CANNOT CONQUER IT. Why? Because "the people that dwell in the land are powerful and the cities are fortified and very great, and we saw the children of giants there...and we were like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and so did we appear in their eyes" (Numbers 13:28-33).

And the people heard these words and began to weep. All night they weep; it is the night of the ninth of Av. They gather about Moses and cry out: "What are you telling us to do, to go up to the land? Surely we will be killed! Why did we leave Egypt? LET US GO BACK..."

The Torah is NOT a book of stories meant to entertain or titillate. "The deeds of the forefathers are signs for the children," the Rabbis tell us (Tanchuma, Lech Lecha 9). They are there for us to learn what to do, and what not. Every story is a lesson for our times. Let us see what occurred.

Is it possible that the chosen men of scholarship and greatness defied the word of the L-rd with impunity? Was there some heedless revolt here? Hardly. The great heads of the tribes looked about the land and saw exactly what they said they saw: powerful people, powerful cities, dangerous giants. Of course they wished to enter the Land of Israel and settle in their own country. But there was something that stood in their way. DANGER! TRUE DANGER! A danger to their VERY LIVES and the lives of the Jewish people!

And so they ruled halachically: DANGER TO LIFE TAKES PRECEDENCE OVER TERRITORY. Danger to life takes precedence over the Land of Israel itself. "Let us appoint for ourselves a leader and go back to Egypt" (Numbers 14:4). Not, G-d forbid, to assimilate, but rather - in the face of the danger of war - to build for ourselves a Jewish community there in Egypt. One that will be religious, one that will have an eruv; one that will have very kosher meat, on that will be a Crown and a Borough and a New Zion.

And the Almighty hears the halachic ruling and asks: "How long will this people FAIL to believe in me and in My sings and power???" (ibid. 14:11-12).

What is G-d saying? Why is He angry? Is there not justification for giving up land, the entire country, in the face of danger? Do not the mitzvot of living in the land and the prohibition against giving up the land pale into secondariness in the face of the great admonition to flee from danger?

But the Almighty has long since taught the Jews that this is not so. He lays down a mitzvah that is known as milchemet mitzvah, an obligatory war. It is a war that is binding upon the people and that needs no Sanhedrin, no prophet, no Temple. It is a mitzvah that declares: to conquer the Land of Israel, to repel an enemy that comes and demands your land or who refuses to give up a part of the land, is an OBLIGATORY WAR. Danger to life? Danger to life transcending and cancelling the mitzvah of an obligatory war? The contradiction is obvious. Is there a war that is NOT dangerous??? Is there a war in which we do NOT face danger??? Is there a rule that says: We must go to war unless it becomes dangerous! Say this and you permanently uproot the entire concept and mitzvah from the Torah.

Of course, wars are dangerous, and of course, there are times when the enemy is powerful and more so than the Jew. But the very essence of an obligatory war is to manifest faith in the Almighty, to sanctify His Name by going to war with the enemy and by triumphing against the natural odds. An obligatory war is Kiddush Hashem. It is the PROOF and MANIFESTATION of our FAITH!!!

And so the Almighty looks at the great men who are tiny of faith and cries out: How much longer will it be before they learn to believe in Me??? How much longer will it be before they have the faith to leave their Exile and come willingly up to the difficult land? How much longer will it be before they rule that one is not allowed to give up one inch of My land and that the concept of "danger to life" is irrelevant in the case of an obligatory war whose purpose is to manifest faith in and sanctify the Name of G-d? How much longer must G-d wait for men of faith???

The Jewish Press, 1979

Friday, June 24, 2016

A few good jokes to make you laugh

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

Admit Your Mistakes

Don't defend an error when you know you are wrong. Most often you can't fool others. And you can never fool yourself.

Love Yehuda Lave



The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 


  1. Cashtration(n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 

    2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and the back end of a donkey

    3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.

  2. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting sexual relations

    7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit   and the person who doesn't get it. 

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

  3. Decafalon(n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

  4. Glibido: All talk and no action. 

    14.Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 

    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

  5. Beelzebug(n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

  6. Caterpallor(n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. 

    The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners were:

    1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 

    2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 

    3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. 

    6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

    7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam. 

    12.. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 

    13. Pokem, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 

    14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Hebron Jewish Community and Biblical Heritage Site7 hrs ·

It is with tremendous sorrow that we mourn the passing of Dr. Irving (Yitzchak) Moskowitz, Jewish philanthropist, lover of Israel, pioneer for his nation.

Dr. Moskowitz was a great supporter of Jewish settlement in all parts of the Land of Israel, and was an invaluable friend to the Jews of Hebron and eastern Jerusalem - some called him the Sir Moses Montefiore of our time.

We extend our deepest sympathies and condolences to his dedicated wife Cherna and to his 8 children and many grandchildren. May they be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Monkey loves dog

What if your dog could talk? Would it be interesting?



Kahane on the Parsha
Rabbi Binyamin Kahane- Parshat Beha'alotcha



As national catastrophe hovers over us, many religious Jews are beginning to understand (better late than never) the fatal mistake they made all these years in not thinking big when it came to national politics. The most they ever desired was membership in the coalitions of various governments, Right, and Left. They never went for all the marbles -- that is, to grab hold of the reins of leadership and lead the Jewish people. Only now, as the country is disintegrating, are they finally realizing that they must step up and offer the people an entirely different path -- a Jewish path -- if Israel is to survive.

And so, the time has come to ask: What are the characteristics of a true Jewish leader???
The answer to this question is in our parsha, which discusses the very first Sanhedrin in Jewish history. Moses had reached his breaking point and told G-d, "I can't carry the burden of this people alone, for it is too heavy for me" (Numbers 11:14). Whereupon G-d told him to find 70 elders to help him. But whom to choose? How does one select 70 leaders? After all, there was no shortage of righteous and talented Jews around.

G-d, however, immediately singled out a specific group: the officers of the Children of Israel in Egypt. Who in the world were these officers and why did they deserve to lead the Jewish people? In Parshat Shemot, Pharaoh lays down a rather heavy edict on his Jewish slaves. They must produce a specific quota of bricks without even being given straw. The Jewish officers are ordered by the Egyptian taskmasters to see to it that the quota is met. If it isn't the officers will be blamed for the shortage and beaten. The officers, therefore, are in a dilemma: Either they beat their brothers mercilessly and save their own skin, or they disobey orders and suffer the consequences.

How would we expect them to behave? We are all too familiar with the claims of many soldiers and policemen in Israel today: "Nu, What can I do? I'm just a small screw in a big machine. I'm just following orders." We might expect the Jewish officers in Egypt to similarly rationalize, "Yes, we are with you. The edict is cruel. But, nu. what can we do? We are just following orders." But that is NOT what the Jewish officers say to their brothers in Egypt!!!
The officers recognize the cruelty of the decree and refuse to obey it! And they suffer the consequences: "The Jewish officers were beaten in place of the people as they were unwilling to turn them over to the taskmasters. They said, 'It is better that we be hit and not let the rest of the people falter'" (Tanchuma, Beha'alotcha 13).

THESE were the people chosen by G-d to lead the Jewish people. They weren't necessarily the most scholarly Jews. However, their hearts burned with Ahavat Yisrael. They did not merely pay lip service to the concept of Ahavat Yisrael. They were genuinely ready to suffer for their brothers.
Darka Shel Torah, 1995

Huckabee: Hillary Clinton Would Be a Disaster for Israel

» Huckabee: Hillary Clinton Would Be a Disaster for Israel By: David Israel Published: June 16th, 2016


Gov. Mike Huckabee at the Herzliya Conference / Screenshot

"Hillary Clinton will be a disaster for Israel," former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee told Walla on the sidelines of the 2016 Herzliya Conference Wednesday. Huckabee, an early dropout in the GOP presidential race, suggested Clinton would continue President Obama's policy regarding Israel. "And I don't think anyone would say that Israel-US relations have been good under his leadership over the last eight years," he commented.

In his address to the conference, Gov. Huckabee said that "every friend of Israel is a friend of the United States and every enemy of Israel is an Enemy of the United States." He also suggested that "America is looking into the mirror and sees Israel."

Huckabee noted that the greatest common foe facing Israel, the US and the free world was "radical Islamic ideology that takes us back to the 7th century." He then reiterated: "We have a common enemy and that enemy is radical Islam that wishes to destroy civilization itself and wishes to turn the clock back to centuries ago."

Mentioning the past week's two acts of terror, one killing four in Tel Aviv, followed by the mass shooting in Orlando, Fl. that killed 49, Huckabee said that the argument about whether the Orlando shooting was a terror attack or hate crime is "ridiculous. All terror is based on hate." He said that he feared that sometimes people were afraid "to call out the common enemy of radical Islam in case we offend someone," but went on to state that he was offended when "innocent people were murdered in the name of an ideology that wishes to destroy all semblance of peace."

He referred to the "Ill-fated and tragic deal to trust the Iranians," saying that "here can be no deal with those who believe its okay to murder people" because of their race, religion or ethnicity. "It's impossible to enter into any agreement with the present leadership of Iran… I hope and pray that it will be rescinded."

Focusing on the Israeli-Arab conflict and the talks about a two-state solution, Huckabee said that the idea is na├»ve and cannot be realized "unless both sides agree that the other side has a fundamental right to exist." He said that until there were no longer schools in Judea, Samaria and Gaza celebrating the death of Jews, there could be no solution. He added that there was no magical formula for the issues but that the basic issue of radical Islam and one people wanting to destroy another and celebrating every time someone on the other side was killed had to be solved first. "This is not a conflict about land, or about power, but about existence," he asserted.

"Neither Israel nor the United States is perfect but we do have a system of laws that we insist are abided by… we do not name streets after or make heroes out of terrorists."

Huckabee also focused on the issue of Jerusalem, saying that "the notion that Jerusalem should be divided is nonsense…. Only one nation in the world every claimed it as its capital… it is never even mentioned in the Quran… At some point we have to come to grips that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel, not because it has been since 1948 but because it has been for 3000 years and it has to be accepted."

Returning to his original point, Huckabee concluded, "We have to recognize that if it's good for Israel then it's ultimately good for the United States and if it's good for the United States then it's ultimately good for Israel… the similarities between the two countries are just too glaring to ignore… our alliance is too precious."

He said that Israel's sovereignty, safety and security had to be protected because Israel was just the first "domino" and the United States would follow. "Anyone who comes after you is after us next," Huckabee said.


Thursday, June 23, 2016

Muhammad Ali's uneven dealing with Jews--plenty of anti-semitism

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

Counterbalance Bad Traits

As soon as you become aware that you are feeling any discomfort over another person's good fortune, let it serve as a cue to you to behave in the opposite extreme and actively express great joy. This will help you overcome any negative tendencies.

Love Yehuda Lave

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice."

-- Saul Bellow

Muhammad Ali's uneven dealing with Jews--plently of anti-semitism

Boxing legend Muhammad Ali, who died  a couple of weeks ago at 74, railed against Jewish promoters and slammed Zionist control of the world, but he also attended his grandson's bar mitzvah and appealed to Muslim extremists to release Jewish journalist Daniel Pearl.

Ali's grandson became a bar mitzvah at a Philadelphia synagogue in 2012.

Jacob Wertheimer, the son of Khaliah Ali-Wertheimer and Spencer Wertheimer, was called to the Torah at the historic Congregation Rodeph Shalom in front of 150 people, including the former heavyweight champion.

Ali's daughter, who was raised Muslim, said at the time, "No one put any pressure on Jacob to believe one way or another. He chose this on his own because he felt a kinship with Judaism and Jewish culture," and that it "meant a lot to Jacob" that Ali was there.

Ali, who was raised a Baptist named Cassius Clay, converted to Islam in the 1960s and changed his name.

He was esteemed by several prominent Jewish figures, including the comedian-actor Billy Crystal, who imitated the boxer. Among his biggest supporters was sportscaster Howard Cosell, who was among the first to call the boxer by his conversion name and defended him when Ali was stripped of his title in the late 1960s for failing to enter the US Army because of his Muslim faith.

Ali called out Jewish promoters in 1970 when he returned to the ring after 3 1/2 years away because of the draft-evasion charges.

Asked by a New York Times reporter after the fight about a subsequent contest with heavyweight champion Joe Frazier, Ali replied: "To those who might want it, the fight will come. All those Jewish promoters — they'll see that it comes off." The reporter said the athlete smiled as he said it.
Boxing legend Muhammad Ali in 1966 (CC BY-SA Dutch National Archives via Wikimedia Commons)

Boxing legend Muhammad Ali in 1966 (CC BY-SA Dutch National Archives via Wikimedia Commons)

In 1985, Ali visited Israel in order to arrange for the freeing of some 700 Shiite Muslim prisoners in the Atlit detention camp.

Five years earlier, during a visit to India, Ali charged that Zionists "control" America and the world, according to an interview reported in a leading publication in India, the text of which was obtained by JTA.

In the biweekly India Today dated February 1-15, 1980, Ali spoke of Zionists when asked about the "militant revival" of Islam in Iran and the holding of "your countrymen hostage." Ali, saying that "those people in Iran are fanatics" and that "the other Muslims in the world have condemned their action," declared "religion ain't bad; it's people who are bad."

"You know the entire power structure is Zionist. They control America; they control the world," said Ali, who was in India earlier as a special emissary of then-president Jimmy Carter. "They are really against the Islam religion. So whenever a Muslim does something wrong, they blames the religion."

But in January 2002, when Daniel Pearl of The Wall Street Journal was kidnapped by Islamic extremists, Ali pleaded publicly for the Jewish journalist's release and life.

"I appeal to you to show Daniel Pearl compassion and kindness," Ali implored Pearl's abductors, who would behead the journalist in Pakistan after nine days of captivity, although his fate would not be known for another three weeks.

"Treat him as you would wish all Muslims to be treated by others," he entreated. "Daniel should not become another victim of the ongoing conflict. It is my most sincere prayer that Daniel Pearl be permitted to return safely to his family. May Allah have mercy on us all."

Ali attended the memorial service for Pearl in March 2002.

How nice to live Amsterdam where Teens sing about buring Jews

AMSTERDAM (JTA) — Dutch Chief Rabbi Binyomin Jacobs called on authorities to identify and punish high school pupils who during their graduation ceremony sang about burning Jews.

The incident happened last week during the graduation gala of the Elde College in the town of Schijndel, 70 miles southeast of Amsterdam, the Brabants Dagblad daily reported on Wednesday.

As they approached the party, several graduates sang: "Together we'll burn Jews, because Jews burn the best."

The phrase is part of a chant heard several times in recent years during soccer matches connected to the Amsterdam's Ajax football team, whose players and supporters are often dubbed "Jews" because of the historic Jewish presence in the city, which is sometimes colloquially called "Mokum" after the Yiddish word for "place." But the gala incident had nothing to do with soccer.

The student body and organizing committee of the Elde College gala expressed their sincere apologies for the incident, but Jacobs said the guilty parties "must be prosecuted for hate speech."

The frequency of anti-Semitic chants and other hate crimes "means Dutch Jews are less inclined to report hate crimes, when they occur around them all the time," Jacobs told JTA. His home in Amersfoort has been attacked five times in recent years, especially during periods of unrest in Israel.

Jacobs referenced the incident during his speech earlier this week in Vught, at a ceremony for Jewish Holocaust victims at a former Nazi internment camp. "Only six years ago, we were profoundly shocked when two young men screamed 'Heil Hitler' during a commemoration ceremony at Vught," he said. "But today, this wouldn't be so shocking anymore. It is happening all the time in the Netherlands, and we must face this change with honesty, and combat it with education and severe punishments for violators."

Approximately 100,000 people, or three-quarters of Dutch Jewry, were murdered in the Holocaust — the highest death rate in Nazi-occupied Western Europe.

Trump says all the right words in condemming the Tel Aviv attack

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump harshly condemned the recent bloody terror attack in Tel Aviv, citing the teachings of anti-Israel hatred rampant in Palestinian society as a driving force behind the violence.

By: The Algemeiner

"I condemn, in the strongest possible terms, the outrageous terrorist shootings that took the lives of at least four innocent civilians and wounded at least 20 others in Tel Aviv yesterday," Trump said in a statement on Thursday. "The Israeli security forces' investigation is ongoing, but some facts have already emerged — and they are grim."

On Wednesday, two Hamas-affiliated terrorists, dressed in black business suits, entered the popular Max Brenner chocolate bar/cafe at the Sarona Market shopping complex. After sitting down and ordering food, the terrorists — who it was later determined hail from the village of Yatta near Hebron — opened fire. Before being neutralized by security guards, they managed to kill four people — two men and two women — and wound many more.

Trump slammed Gaza-based Hamas for its celebration over the attacks and the terrorists themselves. "Just as fast as the condolences arrive from the civilized world is the praise arising out of the uncivilized one. Hamas praised the attack, calling the attackers 'heroes.' Reports out of Hebron indicate that residents of the terrorists' hometown lit up the night sky with celebratory fireworks," he stated, adding that it was "despicable" that one Palestinian "news organization" called the attacks a "Ramadan treat."

Trump said the world understands "all too well the unspeakable horror that terrorism unleashes." To address terrorism — "and address it we must!" — the real estate magnate called on the world to "recognize the parallel horror of the culture of religious hatred that permeates many Palestinian quarters. From schools that indoctrinate toddlers to grow up to kill Israelis to the daily menu of hate that spews forth from various 'news organizations,' change is long overdue in the Palestinian territories."

Affirmed Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton stated support for Israel in fight against terror. (File/Youtube/Screenshot)

The presidential hopeful said he hopes to forge a "future where peace can take root and terror finds no refuge."

"The American people stand strong with the people of Israel, who have suffered far too long from terrorism. Israel's security is a matter of paramount importance to me and the American people," Trump said. "I express my deepest condolences to the families of the four Israelis who were murdered, as well as my wishes for a speedy recovery to the wounded."

Also on Thursday, presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton issued her own condemnation of the Tel Aviv attack, saying in a statement, "I condemn the heinous terrorist attack in Tel Aviv today. I send my deepest condolences to the families of those killed and I will continue to pray for the wounded."

"I stand in solidarity with the Israeli people in the face of these ongoing threats, and in unwavering support of the country's right to defend itself," she stated, adding, "Israel's security must remain non-negotiable.

Female muslim Professor Says It's OK To Rape Girls To Humiliate Them

Suad Saleh is a Muslim professor at Al-Azhar University who, according to the Middle East Media Research Institute, explains what is acceptable in the Islamic culture for committing female rape.

Saleh says, 'Those whom you own' (slaves) existed before Islam. It existed among all nations and countries, not just among pre-Islam Arabs. Anyone could trade in freeborn men and women. This is called the selling of freeborn people. It's like the selling of human organs and trafficking in freeborn humans today. But when Islam emerged, it put slavery into order, by limiting it to legitimate wars between Muslims and their enemies. If we fought Israel, which is plundering land, and is an aggressor against people and their faith…"

She continued, "Obviously, it is impossible that we will fight Israel, even though Surat Al-Isra in the Quran foretells this, and nothing is beyond the power

Because it's a classic. Enjoy 'Curly vs. The Clam' from "Dutiful But Dumb." ‪#‎ThreeStooges‬