Imagine two people who are very different from each other. This needn't be a source of conflict. Rather, if each one focuses on how to help the other, then the differences between them will actually make their personalities complementary.
Not only will they like each other despite their differences, but rather, because of them. They will even become closer, because their differences provide more opportunities to be of service to each other.
Contrast this to those who focus on what he can take from the other. They will quarrel frequently and eventually end up hating one another.
Be careful about explaining this to you wife however. Every relationship is different. I try to focus on the things that we enjoy doing together, but I am aware of the different personalities that my wife and I have. When I blurted out once that we were different, it hurt my wife's feelings because she had past relationships where the differences between her previous mates broke them apart. When you have a religious marriage based on spirituality and not just attraction alone, Rabbi Pliskin teaches that the differences are simply learning experiences to work on your own personality. In a non-religious marriage, it is easier to switch than work on yourself.
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