Happy Passover to you all!With Passover coming up on Friday Nighthere are some points you might want to consider.A group of leading medical researchers have published data indicating that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses, it seems that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
At our Seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil.
The brand name, of course, is...'Let My People Go.'
Old Jewish men in Miami get hernias from wearing chai's which are too heavy.
This condition is called chaiatal hernia!
If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a tool box, what does a mohel carry?
JEWISH JEOPARDY - We give the answer, you give the question
Q: What is a Mideast skin disease?
A: The Gaza Strip
Q: What is an Egyptian Belly Dance?
A: A classroom, a Passover ceremony, and latke
Q: What are a cheder, a Seder, and a tater?
Q: On what do Jews recline on Passover?
Q: What does the rabbi do during some sermons?
A: Filet Minyan
Q: What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?
A: Kishka, sukkah, and circumcision.
Q: What are a gut, a hut, and a cut?
And speaking of circumcisions: An enterprising Rabbi is offering circumcisions via the Internet.
The service is to be called...'E-MOIL¡Wishing all my friends and family a happy and healthy Passover filled with good food and warm memories.
This one you can take seriously, the lies coming out of the Middle East
As Jews around the world prepare for Passover On Friday night - the celebration of Moses leading the Jews out of Egypt - Palestinians are working overtime to rewrite history by presenting Moses as "the great Muslim leader who liberated Palestine."
On Palestinian Authority television, Dr. Omar Ja'ara, a lecturer at Al-Najah University in Nablus, declared:
This outrage is the latest Palestinian effort to dismiss Jewish nationhood, a corollary to the repeated denial of any Jewish connection to the Holy Land. "The claims of historic and religious ties between Jews and Palestine are incompatible with the facts of history," reads the Palestinian National Charter (Article 18).
When archaeologists in Jerusalem discovered a small golden bell, possibly from a tunic worn by a high priest during the Second Temple period, Palestinian officials angrily said this "underlines the efforts of the occupation and the extremist Jewish groups to falsify history and plant Jewish history forged in the region." And following the release of an iPhone app that sends prayers to the Western Wall, Palestinians immediately went into protest mode, insisted that "the Wailing Wall is an integral part of the al-Aqsa Mosque, and it is exclusively Islamic… and non-Muslims have no right to it, even to the dust of the Wailing Wall." (Palestine News Network, January 4, 2011)
This deceit goes straight to the top: In the words of Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas, the Jewish people "claim that 2,000 years ago they had a Temple. I challenge the claim that this is so." (Kul Al-Arab, August 25, 2000) The Palestinian ambassador to Washington, Maen Rashid Areikat, claimed that historically the Jewish presence in Israel "never was in Jerusalem, it never was on the coast, it never was in Hebron."
It's all part of an ongoing deligitimization campaign - aided by a willing media. Le Monde, the French newspaper of record, quoted PA cabinet minister Yasser Abed Rabbo: "Looking at the situation from an archaeological standpoint, I am sure there is no temple."
Even canonized Jewish writings, accepted for millennia by billions of people worldwide, are targeted for revision. Speaking on Palestinian TV, researcher Dr. Hayel Sanduqa claimed that the well-known verse from Psalm 137, "If I forget thee, oh Jerusalem," is not a Jewish source at all, but rather words uttered by a Christian Crusader, now "falsified in the name of Zionism." And when the iconic 1970s disco group Boney M played a concert in Ramallah, Palestinian organizers demanded that the band not perform one of its biggest hits, "Rivers of Babylon." Why? Because the song's chorus quotes from the Book of Psalms which - in a brazen act of Zionist propaganda! - refers to the Jewish yearning for the land of Israel.
Follow the steps: First, Palestinians claim that Moses was a Muslim leader and that Jews never lived in Israel. Then before you know it, standard media references to the Jewish Temple - accepted as historical fact by every legitimate archaeologist and scholar - is deemed debatable. London's Daily Telegraph referred to "the Temple Mount, where the two Jewish temples of antiquity are believed to have been built," and Time magazine identified the "Dome of the Rock, where Jews believe Solomon and Herod built the First and Second Temples." Not an indisputable fact of history; just something that "Jews believe."
Beyond the problem of factual inaccuracy, these media manipulations can actually impede the peace process. Invariably, the starting point in any negotiation is whatever is defined in common terms as "normative." With these outrageous pro-Palestinian views reinforced in the media, Palestinians sense the momentum predisposed in their favor, and harbor the illusion of bringing these demands to the negotiating table. Inevitably, Palestinians get a rude awakening every time that Israel - secure in their 4,000-year history and connection to the land - refuses to allow these skewed perceptions to dictate terms of an agreement.
Looking at the bright side, this is surely a good conversation starter for this year's Passover Seder.
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