Sunday, July 12, 2015

Paraprosdokians and ten things in live I wish I had known at graduation

Associate Apologizing With Pleasure

The only reason it is difficult to apologize is because one fears emotional pain.

So if you find it difficult to apologize to someone, visualize yourself apologizing and feeling good about the experience. By creating emotional pleasure for yourself as you apologize, you will motivate yourself to do the right thing.

Love Yehuda Lave
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the  street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.


Spirituality - Ten Things I Wish I Knew at My Graduation

Ten Things I Wish I Knew at My Graduation
by Sara Debbie Gutfreund

Ten Things I Wish I Knew at My Graduation

Print and post on your fridge and read regularly.

I wish I would have spent more time in college figuring out my life goals instead of figuring out where I wanted to go to graduate school. I wish I would have had the courage to look honestly at myself instead of looking at other people. I wish I would have tried to find my own core values instead of searching the world for meaning.

I wish I would have learned more and studied a little less. I wish I would have treasured my friends instead of taking them for granted. I wish I would have somehow known the following ten things.

1. If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you. When I first graduated college, I thought that if something didn't come easily to me, it meant that something was wrong. Every challenge looked like an obstacle instead of an opportunity. I wish I would have known then that nothing worthwhile is easy.

2. The secret to having it all is believing that you already do. I wish I would have known then how to be grateful for everything that I had, to be happy even while striving to reach new goals, instead of telling myself "I'll be happy when..." because "when" never comes since we always want more. I wish I would have known that the time to be grateful is now.

3. A negative mind never gives you a positive life. I wish I would have known how important it is to believe in yourself and to look at life through an optimistic lens. I wish I would have known how much complaining is a waste of time and energy and how powerful positive thoughts can be in creating a happy life.

4. If plan 'A' fails, remember there are 25 more letters. I wish I would have known how many different ways there are to succeed, that there are many unique paths and solutions to reach the same goal. I wish I would have understood that real persistence means being open to new strategies when the old ones no longer work.

5. Nothing goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. I wish I would have known that every situation and person that I would encounter was sent to teach me something. Pain is a lesson and the faster I learned its message, the quicker it would pass.

6. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. I wish I would have known that I was already in a position to give, to teach, to change the world, that no one is ever "ready" to try something new, and that successful people don't wait until they feel ready.

7. If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse. I wish I would have known that I could accomplish extraordinary things if I wanted them badly enough. Putting off dreams is like giving up on them because "someday" never really arrives.

8. The sign of a beautiful person is that she sees beauty in others. I wish I would have known then not to focus so much on how others perceived me and to instead focus on seeing the beauty in others.

9. If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results. I wish I would have known that we can't always see the results of our work immediately. The important thing to remember is to believe in change itself and to keep growing. If you're patient, you will eventually see the results of your efforts.

10. Your life is the result of the choices you make. If you don't like your life, it is time to start making better choices. I wish I would have known then that I was – and would always be – responsible for my own happiness. If my life isn't working out the way I want it to, I can start making different choices today.