someone is bound to think that you are selfish, mean, petty, too frum/not frum enough, uncaring, crazy, stupid or downright evil.
What they think or feel is not your business. Your business is to protect yourself - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. What they think or feel is a reflection of where they are holding in their moral development.
After all, the people who love you will love the fact that you are setting protective boundaries! Abuse victims, in particular, were trained to be submissive and please others in the hope that this would pacify the abusers.
Often, it did work - to the point where even as adults, they feel a frenzy of terror if they do not want to attend a family simcha of someone who is hostile to them, refuse to buy a child an expensive item or even want to hang up on someone who might feel offended if they do not listen to their inane or hostile chatter.
Break this habit! Stay home from that event. Refuse to buy the item. Hang up the phone. See that the sky does not fall down. Let them rant and rage. Hashem will protect you. Hashem is proud that you had the courage to live your truth.
Like everything I write, this has limits. Usually one should bend over backwards to make peace. However, as I learned from my teachers, there are exceptions to every rule. Here we are talking about having a relationship with someone who abused you. There is always the responiblity to protect yourself first.
Lag B'Omer Festival 100 Years Ago -- April 30, 1918
Posted: 29 Apr 2018 10:15 PM PDT
The Enigmatic Photograph from the Library of Congress: Lag B'Omer & Jewish Children's Parade exactly 100 years AgoJewish children's procession -- where, why, when?
Among the thousands of very old and recently digitalized pictures from a Library of Congress collection of photos from Palestine, there is this captivating picture.
All the original Library of Congress caption explained was that the picture was taken between 1910 and 1930 and that it is a "Group of children and adults in procession in street, some holding a banner with a Star of David."
Today, the caption reads: Procession may have taken place on April 30, 1918, on Lag Ba'Omer, when visits were traditionally made to the tomb. British army tents in background, indicate year of 1918. (Source: L. Ben-David, Israel's History - A Picture a Day website, August 19, 2011)
Title devised by Library staff. (Source: L. Ben-David, Israel's History - A Picture a Day website, August 19, 2011)
Who are the hundreds of children? Why are the boys and girls separated? Where are they marching to? Where is this picture taken? And why is there a tent compound on the left horizon?
Photo analysis and comparison to an aerial photograph from 1931 and contemporary pictures indicate that the children are walking south on the Nablus Road (Derech Shchem) in the direction of the Damascus Gate of the Old City of Jerusalem. Behind them is the road that veers to the right toward Mt. Scopus. The road leads to a neighborhood built around the grave of a High Priest named Shimon the Righteous (Hatzadik) who lived in the days of the Second Temple.
The boys and girls come from ultra-Orthodox schools, evidenced by the boys' hats and frocks. The girls are wearing ultra-Orthodox fashion: shapeless, modest smocks. But wait, the second batch of girls, those behind the Star of David banner (might they be from a "Zionist" school?) are wearing more stylish dresses and hats.
Enlargement of the army camp. Note the permanent structure surrounded by tents.
The tents belong to a British army camp after they defeated the Turks in 1917 and were deployed along the northern ridges stretching from Nebi Samuel to the Mount of Olives. The compound appears similar to other British army compounds in Library of Congress photographs. The day started off cool, and the girls have shed their sweaters. It's a warm Spring day, and from the shadows it's probably around 2 PM.
Shimon Hatzadik's tomb today (Israel
In fact, the day was Tuesday, April 30, 1918. The procession is almost certainly an organized outing of several Jerusalem schools taking place on Lag Ba'Omer, four weeks after Passover. Traditionally, on Lag Ba'Omer Jews flock to the Galilee mountaintop of Meiron to the grave of Shimon Bar Yochai, one of the most famous scholars in the Talmud. But some 100 years ago, travel to Meiron would have taken days. Instead, the children took a hike to Shimon Hatzadik's grave, a known custom 100 years ago in Jerusalem.
The picture was taken just four months after the British forces captured the city of Jerusalem. The city's Jewish residents received the soldiers as their saviors -- saving them from severe hunger and deadly diseases. The children had much to celebrate.
The parade route today (picture taken from the 8th floor of the Olive Hotel) (IDP)
"Anyone who could travel to Meiron on Lag Ba'Omer would go, and there take place miracles and wonders. But the residents of Jerusalem who couldn't afford to travel to Meiron have as compensation the cave of Shimo Hatzadik located at the edge of the Sheikh Jarrah neighborhood north of the Old City."
Today, Lag Ba'Omer is a day when Jewish children still go out to parks and forests to celebrate. In Jerusalem, many traditional Jews still visit Shimon's grave.
Comparison of buildings from 1918 and today. Second stories were added to the buildings over the years. (IDP)
The houses around the tomb where Jews lived 100 years ago were abandoned under threat of Arab pogroms in the 1920s and 1930s. The Hadassah convoy massacre in 1948, in which almost 80 Jews were killed, took place on the road beneath the building with the very prominent arches.
In recent years, however, Jewish families have returned to the Shimon Hatzadik neighborhood.
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Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art.
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Rabbi Shalom Gold on yom haatzmaut - 1st hand account
R Shalom Gold talks about his recollection of the events in May '48. The most poignant observation is around 50 minutes in. We heard the news that the medina was established prior to Mincha on erev Shabbat. Just before Mincha someone came running into the shul at Yeshiva Torah Vodaas in Williamsburg that President Truman had recognized the state of Israel. They were 500 people in the shul, including at least 100 people with numbers on their arms. They was not a dry eye in the house. Over 500 people were crying with joy.
VIDEO: Rabbi Teaches Young Chareidi Bochurim About Sacrifices Made By IDF Soldiers
YWN-ISRAEL recently reported on a unique Yeshiva for Chareidim who wish to maintain the dress and lifestyle, but also want an education in general subjects.
Rabbi Bombach, who grew up in Meah Shearim, feels there are many young Chareidim who cannot find a system with the proper balance, as well as too many experiencing difficulty supporting their families due to not having proper education.
He has established his school that includes general studies, remaining committed to the chareidi lifestyle while simultaneously infusing them with a great deal of knowledge and skills for the future.
In the accompanying video we see how the talmidim learn about Memorial Day and the sacrifice made by those who fell in the line of duty over the years.
Parshat Achrei Mot – Kedoshim "Don't Worry, Be Holy" Rabbi Yehoshua Schechter
During the Holocaust the Munkaczer Rebbe was once asked: "Why does Hashem require so much Kiddush Hashem from us"? Generally, the term "Kiddush Hashem" means: to promulgate and sanctify the name of G-d, usually by the public doing good deeds. It can also mean – in extreme circumstances, to give up – to sanctify one's life for G-d. And that was in essence the query in this case – why is Hashem currently requiring so much physical sacrifice - sanctification from the Jewish people?
The Rebbe's response was absolutely mesmerizing: "There is no Kiddush Hashem here," he declared. Kiddush Hashem only happens when there is a choice. There will be Kiddush Hashem once again when the war is over, when you keep Shabbos, eat kosher, and behave the way a Jew is supposed to behave." In other words, once a Jew's ability to choose is taken away from him, there is no more Kiddush Hashem.
It is interesting to note that the Rambam (Maimonedes) has fourteen books in his halachic work, Mishneh Torah. We would expect that his book of "The Laws of Kedusha" would contain details of sacrifices, descriptions of the various services in the Temple - or similar halachot. This is not the case. Rather, the Rambam included only two sets of laws in his volume on Kedusha; the laws of forbidden relationships and the laws of forbidden foods. These two aspects of our everyday life, the basic human desires and how we treat them, classify us as a Holy Nation. Only if we abstain from those forbidden relationships and foods proscribed to us, and channel our desires in the way outlined by G-d, do we attain holiness.
The Or Hachayim, commenting on the first verse of our parsha, "Kedoshim Tihyu", you shall be holy, quotes a statement from the Talmud in Kiddushin 39:B. He states: "that one who sits and does not transgress, is given reward as if he had actually done a mitzvah". The gemara goes on to qualify this statement by expounding: that this is true in a case where the person was presented with the possibility to sin and avoided the temptation. However, the Or Hachayim suggests that merely not committing a sin could be seen as a fulfillment of the injunction "Kedoshim Tihyu". In other words, a simple passive act of not sinning allows us on a basic level lead a life of holiness.
I have always understood the dictum of "Kadesh atzmecha b'ma shmutar lach", sanctify yourself with what is permissible to you, in one of two ways. When does one become holy sanctifying oneself? Either when one A) chooses to pursue something that is permissible rather than forbidden, or even when doing something that is permissible, one demonstrates that there are boundaries even for good things, by exhibiting moderation. However, the Ohr Hachayim gives us a third way to understand this teaching: the passive act of not sinning all by itself, having nothing to do with making any choices to sin or not to sin, that alone is considered making oneself holy
12,000 people forming one hopeful choir. Koolulam's cover of "Al Kol Eleh" ("Over all of these")