RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE KING JOKES OF THE WEEK Moishe, a medieval Jewish astrologer, prophesied that the king's favorite horse would soon die. Sure enough, the horse died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the horse's death. He summoned Moishe and commanded him, "Prophet, tell me when you will die!" Moishe realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately no matter what answer he gave, so he had to answer carefully. "I do not know when I will die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will die three days later." What do you call the knight the king didn't need? Sir Plus
Did you know King Henry VIII had an insatiable sweet tooth and was particularly fond of honey? It's why two of his wives were bee-headed
Shlomo, 75 years old, was taking a walk when he saw a frog in the gutter. He was shocked when the frog began to speak to him.
The frog said, "Old man, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess, I'll be yours forever." Shlomo bent down and put the frog into his pocket and continued walking. The frog said, "Hey, I don't think you heard me. I said if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." Shlomo took the frog out of his pocket and said, "I heard you, but at my age I'd rather have a talking frog." If The Lion King was a cow movie instead, what would their leader be called? Moofasa
Why was the King's army so tired? Too many sleepless knights.
Why were there so many old chairs in the King's castle? They were never throne out. Why was the king wet? He was the reigning monarch. King Henry VIII had six wives. He beheaded two of them. Those were his axe wives.
A king used to be drunk throughout the day, no matter what the time, day, occasion was
Frustrated by his behaviour, the queen left the palace and vowed to never go back. The king, drunk as usual and absolutely shocked by this news, asked his minister, what caused such extreme move of queen The Minister said, "Your highness" |