Friday, November 29, 2013

Chanukah and our Torah and an old Israeli Wine cellar and National parks





The Most Enjoyable Change

Your view of "change" will either motivate you to keep making positive changes, or will make you fearful and avoiding of change.

One of the biggest changes a person can make is to stop viewing change as painful, hard work -- and instead to enjoy the entire process of self-development.

Of course, true change is difficult. But enjoying the process keeps you motivated.

I certainty have to practice this myself as I go through the changes that getting older and more mature (hopefully) bring me as well as letting go of comfort to embrace change.

Love Yehuda  Lave

 

Mikeitz (Genesis 41:1-44:17) (This is the portion of the Bible we read this week on the Sabbath in synagogue)

GOOD MORNING!  Rabbi Abraham Twerski points out in his Twerski on Chumash that there is no coincidence that Chanukah occurs during the week that we read about the epic of Joseph and his brothers. He then asks: What is the deeper significance of the miracle of the oil burning 8 nights?
In truth, since the whole Jewish people were in a state of tumah (ritual impurity) we could have used any oil for the lighting of the menorah. It was only their zealousness to do the mitzvah in the best possible manner that made them seek oil that was tahar (ritually pure). We did not rely upon the cruse of oil to burn the 8 nights needed until tahar oil could be produced. We would have used the tahar oil for one night and then used tumey (ritually impure) oil. However, the oil burned miraculously for 8 nights! Rabbi Twersky elucidates:
"Answers the P'nei Yehoshua (a commentary on the Torah) that precisely because it was permissible to use impure oil, the miracle demonstrated the intensity of God's love for Israel, that the Menorah illuminated the Temple for eight days with just the single vial of pure oil. There was no purpose for this miracle other than to show God's love for Israel.
"Rav Avraham Pam (former Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Torah Vodaas) teaches us that we see this special love of God for the Jewish people regarding the many Jews at that time who had defected to Hellenism and then returned to Torah observance with the triumph of the Macabees -- regarding their relationship with the Almighty after their return to the Torah. When a couple reconciles after a separation, the relationship often becomes one of peaceful coexistence, but the quality of love that they initially had for each other is rarely restored.
"Not so when Jews do teshuvah (repentance -- returning to the Almighty and to the ways of the Torah). Rambam says that although a sinful person distances himself from God, once he does teshuvah he is near, beloved and dear to God. It is not that God "tolerates" the baal teshuvah (returnee), but rather that He loves him as He would the greatest tzaddik (righteous person). As the prophet says, "I will remember for you the loving-kindness of your youth, when you followed Me into the desert, into a barren land" (Jeremiah 2:2). The love of yore is fully restored.
"This is the significance of the miracle of the oil. It teaches us that with proper teshuvah our relationship with God is restored, as if we had never sinned.
"This is also the message of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph did not simply forgive them and suppress his resentment for their abuse of him. Rather, he loved them and cared for them as if nothing had happened, telling them that he feels toward them as he does to Benjamin, who was not involved in his kidnapping (Rashi, Genesis 45:12).
"The celebration of Chanukah is, therefore, more than the commemoration of a miracle. We are to emulate the Divine attributes (Talmud, Shabbos 133b). Just as when God forgives, His love for us is completely restored -- so must we be able to restore the love for one another when we mend our differences.
"As we watch the Chanukah candles, let us think about the light they represent: the bright light of a love that is completely restored!"
* * *
One additional question: Why the celebration of the miracle of the oil? The real salvation of Chanukah was the victory of the Macabees over the "Super Power" (the Syrian Greeks) of the day! It was no less miraculous, yet it gets only minor mention in our prayers. From Inside Chanukah by Rabbi Aryeh P. Strickoff:
  1. Jews celebrate their own salvation, not the downfall of others. The miracle of the oil is about the uplifting of the Jewish people; the victory in war was about the defeat of the Syrian Greeks (the Yavanim).

  2. The oil is about purity and holiness, the war was about death, destruction and impurity.

  3. The miracle of the oil indicated that victories were also miraculous though concealed in the guise of nature.







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Thursday, November 28, 2013

Fwd: Disney does Dreidel song...a little wierd, but hilarious...AND Albany, New York Capital






 
Don't Let Materialism Distract You

A man once said to the Chafetz Chaim, (one of the great sages from the early 1900's) "Rabbi, I have just bought a lottery ticket. Could you please give me a blessing that I will win, since the money I acquire will enable me to study Bible with peace of mind."

The Chafetz Chaim gently blessed him, "May the Almighty help you study Bible with peace of mind."

The man was disappointed that the Chafetz Chaim did not give him a blessing to win the lottery. It occurred to him that perhaps the Chafetz Chaim did not hear him exactly, so he repeated - this time in a louder voice - that he would like a blessing to win the lottery.

Very calmly the Chafetz Chaim reiterated the same blessing, word for word as before.

Today, ask yourself: Are my material possessions in any way distracting me from the real goals of life?


Love Yehuda Lave

 


Vayishlach (Genesis 32:4-36:43)

By Rabbi Kalman Packouz


GOOD MORNING!My friend, Sunny Goldstein, of blessed memory, was named after his grandfather. While that is not unusual, the rest of the story is. One hundred and twenty-three years ago, Sunny's grandfather left his wife, three year old daughter and six month old son to head to California for a better climate and better living conditions for the family. The plan was to find a way to support the family and then send for the family to join him. Only one problem. He was never heard from again.

As Sunny grew up there was a split family opinion. All of the women maintained that his grandfather had abandoned the family, remarried and had a new family. His father maintained that something must have happened to him and always was looking to prove that he hadn't abandoned his family. When Sunny started to work and his travels took him to California, his father always asked, "Please, see if you can find your grandfather." But the task was too daunting ... there are a lot of cemeteries in California.

When Sunny was nearing his 80th birthday a fourth cousin asked to interview him for a family genealogy. When she asked about his grandfather, Sunny told her the story and apologized that he didn't have more information. His cousin told him, "Look, if you can think of anything else, let me know. I love solving these mysteries!" When they hung up, Sunny put forth a little prayer that he often prayed -- "Please God, help me fulfill my father's request and find out what happened to my grandfather. Thank you."

That night Sunny had a dream. He woke up in the morning and called his cousin. "I have no idea what it means, but one word kept coming to me over and over all night long. 'Oddfellows'. I have no idea what it means." The cousin thanked him and hung up.

One month later the cousin calls all excited! "I found your grandfather's death certificate. He died of pneumonia shortly after arriving in California. He's in the Oddfellows cemetery ... 15 minutes from your home in San Diego!" Sunny got the address and immediately drove to the cemetery and sought out the section, row and plot. And there, engraved in stone, was the proof his father was seeking all of those years.

There, engraved on the tombstone below the name of Samuel Goldstein, were the words: "Devoted Husband. Loving Father." The mystery was solved. He had not abandoned the family!

Since his grandfather was a member of the Oddfellows (a fraternal club started in the 1800's by two men who gave generously of their riches to the poor and were thus considered by their acquaintances as "oddfellows"), they visited him in the hospital, buried him in their cemetery and erected his tombstone according to his deathbed instructions.

Sunny could not find out more information because the Oddfellows records were destroyed in the Los Angeles earthquake a few years ago. Why didn't his grandfather or the Oddfellows contact his wife? Maybe they tried. Perhaps they wrote and the letter was lost. Perhaps the address had changed. In 1891 communication was not easy or as assured as today.

While I intended to use the story as a "springboard" to discuss how one gets his prayers answered, it seems my "springboard" reaches almost to the end of the "pool". Here are 5 Steps to Genuine Prayer: 1) Feel God's presence. You are talking to a loving, all-powerful Being Who wants to give you everything that's good. All over the world God is answering prayers because He loves His children. 2) Expect results. God has a track record. If you don't really believe God can and will help you, you're not really praying. 3) Pay attention to what God is teaching you. Everything that happens is for your good. If you are in need, realize God is teaching you something. If you trust Him, you will hear what He is telling you. 4) Get in touch with what you're really after. Know your bottom line. You're talking to the awesome Creator, so don't ask for nonsense. He wants you to grow up. 5) Being serious about what you're praying for means that you're doing everything you can to make it happen. God will lend a hand only when you put in the effort. He'll never take away your independence because that's His ultimate gift to you.


Disney Dreidel Video--funny


On our trip for the Brit, we take a little detour to the Big Apple's  capital




Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Chanukgiving--Thanksgiving and Chanukah together




Difficulties Increase Your Merit

When you are trying to do good deeds and difficulties arise, realize that the difficulties actually serve to increase the merit of your good deeds.
Love Yehuda Lave
Our trip to Albany for a Brit:


Question:
Is it true that . . .
Thanksgiving falls on Chanukah this year,
it's never happened before, and
it will never happen again?
Answer:
Yes, no, and maybe.
Yes, this Chanukah, if you're celebrating Thanksgiving, you'll want to light the second candle of the menorah at your turkey dinner.
No, it's not true that this has never happened before. Let's work this through step by step:
Chanukah was declared a Jewish national holiday 2178 years ago. Thanksgiving was declared a national American holiday on the last Thursday of every November by Abraham Lincoln in 1863. Before then, Thanksgiving was celebrated on different dates in different states, so we won't count those. But, using the Chabad.org Date Converter, you will see that Thanksgiving coincided with the first day of Chanukah on November 29, 1888. It also coincided with the fifth day of Chanukah on November 30, 1899.
On November 28, 1918, Thanksgiving was on Chanukah eve. But since it's still Thanksgiving until midnight, and Jewish days begin at night, that would still mean that Jewish Americans would have eaten their turkeys that Thanksgiving to the light of their first Chanukah candle.
It gets more complicated. Originally, Thanksgiving was always on the last Thursday of November. In 1939, FDR decided it would be good for the economy to push Thanksgiving back a little, so he declared the fourth Thursday of that November to be Thanksgiving—even though there were five Thursdays to November that year. In 1942, that became federal law. But not all states went along with it. As late as 1956, Texas was still celebrating Thanksgiving a week later than the rest of the country.
Which means that if you were a Texan Jewish family, you would be eating that turkey to the light of your first Chanukah light in 1945 and 1956.
Will it ever happen again? Interesting question. If we project forward, assuming that:
Thanksgiving will be celebrated on the same schedule,
The people celebrating Thanksgiving will continue following the Gregorian calendar without modification,
The Jewish calendar will continue on its current 19-year cycle,
. . . then the next time the two will coincide would be when Thanksgiving falls on Chanukah eve in the year 2070. That would repeat itself in 2165.
Let's chart this out:
THANKSGIVING DATES
CHANUKAH DATES
11/29/1888
Kislev 25, 5649—2 candles that night
11/30/1899
Kislev 29, 5660—6 candles
11/28/1918
Kislev 24, 5679—1 candle
11/29/1945 (Texas only)
Kislev 24, 5706—1 candle
11/29/1956 (Texas only)
Kislev 24, 5717—1 candle
11/28/2013 (you are here now)
Kislev 25, 5774—2 candles
11/27/2070 (theoretically)
Kislev 24, 5831—1 candle
11/28/2165 (theoretically)
Kislev 24, 5926—1 candle
You'll notice that these dates are getting further and further apart. That's not just FDR's fault. Both the Gregorian calendar and the Jewish calendar are slowly drifting in relation to the actual solar year—but at different rates. After 2165, Chanukah would have completely drifted out of November—unless one of these calendars (or Thanksgiving) is changed.
The most important codification of the laws of the Jewish calendar was written by Maimonides in the 12th century. The standard medieval commentary to that text points out that the calendar is set up in such a way that eventually it will self-obsolesce. By the year 6000 (that's 2240 on the Gregorian calendar), the holidays—most importantly, Passover—will start falling in the wrong seasons.
His conclusion: Before that time, Moshiach is expected to arrive and gather the Jews from the diaspora. At that point we will return to establishing the calendar on a month-by-month basis, as was done originally, before the current diaspora.1
Yes, making appointments is going to be a bit of a challenge, but there will certainly be solutions. At any rate, the benefits far exceed the inconvenience.
One thing is certain, however, as Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman wrote in the 13th century:2 We will forever continue to light the Chanukah lamps for eight nights, every Chanukah. Some lights can never be extinguished.
For more on the connection between Thanksgiving and Chanukah, read Thanksgiving Meets Chanukah.
Video: In 1984, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, the Rebbe, of righteous memory, highlighted some of the correlations between Chanukah and Thanksgiving in a public address:
FOOTNOTES
1. Peirush to Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Kiddush ha-Chodesh 9:11. See also Ittim le-Binah, Maamar 12; Torah Sheleimah vol. 13, Sod ha-Ibbur, ch. 2.
2. In his commentary to Numbers 8:2.
BY TZVI FREEMAN
Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, a senior editor at Chabad.org, also heads our Ask The Rabbi team. He is the author of Bringing Heaven Down to Earth. To subscribe to regular updates of Rabbi Freeman's writing, visit Freeman Files subscription.


GOOD MORNING!Hanukah is coming soon, Wednesday night, November 27th. It's a wonderful family holiday. After we light the candles, we sing Maoz Tzur, eat jelly donuts, tell stories, have quizzes about Hanukah -- all in the light of the Hanukah candles. Memories are made up of a collection of precious moments. Hanukah can provide you with many wonderful memories!
Q & A: WHAT IS HANUKAH AND HOW DO
WE CELEBRATE IT?
There are two ways which our enemies have historically sought to destroy us. The first is by physical annihilation; the most recent attempt being the Holocaust. The second is through cultural assimilation. Purim is the annual celebration of our physical survival. Hanukah is the annual celebration of our spiritual survival over the many who would have liked to destroy us through cultural assimilation.
In 140 BCE the Syrian-Greek emperor, Antiochus, set out to destroy Judaism by imposing a ban on three mitzvot: The Shabbat, The Sanctifying of the New Month (establishing the first day of the month by testimony of witnesses who saw the new moon) and Brit Mila (entering the Covenant of Abraham through Torah-ordained circumcision). The Shabbat signifies that God is the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe and that His Torah is the blueprint of creation, meaning and values. Sanctifying the New Month determines the day of the Jewish holidays. Without it there would be chaos. For example, if Succot is the 15th of Tishrei, the day it occurs depends upon which day is declared the first of Tishrei. Brit (or Bris) Mila is a sign of our special covenant with the Almighty. All three maintain our cultural integrity and were thus threats to the Greek culture.
Matityahu and his 5 sons, known as the Maccabees, started a revolt and three years later succeeded in evicting the oppressors. The victory was a miracle -- on the scale of Israel defeating the combined super-powers of today. Having regained control of the Temple in Jerusalem, they wanted to immediately rededicate it. They needed ritually pure olive oil to re-light the Menorah in the Temple. Only a single cruse of oil was found; enough to burn for just one day. However, they needed oil for eight days until new ritually pure olive oil could be produced. A miracle occurred and the oil burned for eight days.
Therefore, we light Hanukah candles (or better yet, lamps with olive oil) for eight days. One the first day, two the second and so forth. The first candle is placed to the far right of the menorah with each additional night's candle being placed to the immediate left. One says three blessings the first night (two blessings each subsequent night) and then lights the candles, starting with the furthermost candle to the left. The menorah should have all candles in a straight line and at the same height. Ashkenazi tradition has each person of the household lighting his own menorah. Sefardi tradition has just one menorah lit per family. The blessings can be found on the back of the Hanukah candle box or in a Siddur, prayer book. The candles may be lit inside the home. It is preferable to light where passersby in the street can see them -- to publicize the miracle of Hanukah. In Israel, people light outside in special glass boxes built for a menorah or little glasses with olive oil and wicks.
The tradition to eat latkes, potato pancakes, is in memory of the miracle of the oil (latkes are fried in oil). In Israel, the tradition is to eat sufganiot, deep-fried jelly donuts. The traditional game of Hanukah uses a dreidel, a four-sided top with the Hebrew letters Nun, Gimmel, Hey, Shin (the first letters of "Nes Gadol Haya Sham -- A Great Miracle Happened There." In Israel, the last letter is a Pay -- for "here.") In times of persecution when learning Torah was forbidden, Jews would learn anyway. When the soldiers would investigate, they would pull out the dreidel and pretend that they were gambling. The rules for playing dreidel:  Nun -- no one wins; Gimmel -- spinner takes the pot; Hey -- spinner get half the pot; Shin/Pay -- spinner matches the pot!
If enough oil was found to burn in the Temple menorah for one day and the oil lasted for eight days, then the miracle was really only for the seven additional days of lighting. Why then do we celebrate Hanukah for eight days and not seven? The Rema, Rav Moshe Isserlis, answers that in these 8 days we can celebrate a Bris, Rosh Chodesh (the new month which occurs during Hanukah) and a Shabbat -- thus countering the Greek ban!




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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

AWESOME PICTURES and part two of Niagara Falls Honeymoon




  Be Awed Into Humility

Attaining humility is a byproduct of our awareness of the awesome power of our immortal Creator. We are finite in the presence of the Infinite. We are extremely limited when compared to the One who is unlimited. We are miniscule when compared to the immense size of His total creation of which we are aware of only a tiny fraction. And what we are aware of is mind-boggling in its complexity, grandeur, and size.

Humility is what any intelligent, thinking human will have to experience with even a partial awareness of what has already been revealed to us.


Love Yehuda Lave






Here is part two of Niagara Falls Honeymoon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nGhn8HCjHc











 
Awesome Pictures
Somewhere in Vietnam .. Canal River through a paddy field.





Beautiful New Zealand ...





Facing a Manta Ray through a Giant Aquarium.






Enchanted River is found in Philippines . It is called "enchanted" because no one has ever reached its bottom. Many people, including scuba divers, have tried reaching for the bottom but have failed, hence the legend of its bottomless pit. Moreover, locals share that NOBODY has been successful in catching the fish in this river, whether by hand or by spear. They say its bluish color is a result of its depth and the water clarity changes throughout the day. At around 12:00 pm, the water becomes clearer and even more majestic.  






Under the clear blue water of Lake Huron in Ontario. 
3 D Street Art, Rennes, France.





Tree house, Philippines.





A stone path across a lake in Poland.





Ausangate mountain, Andes, Peru . Want to go on a trek? 




The water spirals of Elakala Waterfalls ~ Blackwater Falls State Park, West Virginia.




Zhangjiaje Stone Forest in Hunan, China. It is the inspiration for the floating mountains in the movie "Avatar."





Hong Kong.





Purple and Orange Starfish on the Beach.





Greenland.





Poland has a forest full of bent pine trees (Crooked Forest).





Christ the Redeemer Statue overlooking the whole of Rio was pretty special. You could see it from everywhere you went. I also have to say that the majority of the people who lived there, including the 'natives' (especially in the favelas) knew exactly who it was and respected it and what it stands for.





Every home should have this! - The staircase slider.  





The Astonishing Annual Red Crab Migration.
Each year millions of bright red land crabs leave their burrow homes on Australia 's Christmas Island and start a long, laborious trek toward the sea. They descend cliffs, climb banks and maneuver around obstacles to reach the shoreline and lay their eggs, eventually returning to the island's central plateau with their offspring in tow. The synchronized migration resembles a crimson-colored river undulating across the island and can last up to 18 days. The event typically takes place in November or December (the crabs will only move when it's raining) and coincides with the turning of high tide and the arrival of the waning moon.    






The Inhabited Volcanic Island of Aogashima, Japan. 





Guelta d'Archei Oasis, Sahara Desert.





The Victoria water lily is native to the Amazon river. 





Gudvangen, Norway.




The Tibetan Bridge in Claviere, Piedmont, Italy. 





Awesome Lighted Cherry Blossom Lake (Sakura, Japan) - Beautiful.




Prskalo Waterfall, Serbia.





Perspective, The Redwoods, California (The Redwood Forest). 




Zachariasbryggen - Bergen, Norway.




Cave Hotel in Cederberg Mountains, South Africa.





Vanishing Underwater Roller Coaster in Japan !!





Off the Amalfi Coast, Florence in  Italy.





A Bougainvilla Patio Garden.





Gorgeous reflection. 





Voringfossen is the 83rd highest waterfall in Norway on the basis of total fall.





Preikestolen, Norway.





The Great Artificial Elephant, Nantes, France.





AND FINALLY - Creative bathroom design! - Do you want this comfort room???'







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Monday, November 25, 2013

Niagara Falls from a toy Helicopter.and from our 12th honeymoon




Be Respectful, No Matter What

The bible gives us an important rule in relationships: Even though you are suffering, you have no right to cause suffering to others. Whatever your distress, you still need to speak and act with respect. If you are ever in a bad mood, be especially careful not to speak or act to others in a way that will be distressful for them.

Love Yehuda Lave






Even if you saw Niagara falls watch this video it is from a different prospective like yo never seen before.



: Niagara Falls from a toy Helicopter.
Niagara Falls


 Niagara Falls from a toy (radio controlled) Helicopter. Bet you haven't seen the falls like this. Great shots.







--
HAVE A NICE DAY.




--





Now see it from our perspective on our 12th honeymoon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3_MWWTSXZc






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Sunday, November 24, 2013

how to set a table and raise children



Honor vs Self-Improvement

An honor-seeker is not really interested in self-improvement. He is only interested in gaining approval from others. Hence, he will disregard his faults as long as others will not notice it.
On the other hand, a person who is able to forgo honor is able to focus on truth. His only thought is to do the right thing, and he is willing to sacrifice his honor for his principles. Such a person will eventually receive honor, for he will constantly work on improving himself.
Love Yehuda Lave


B"H









A. Napkin B. Salad Fork C. Dinner  Fork D. Fish Fork E. Soup Bowl F. Soup Plate G.Dinner Plate H. Dinner Knife I. Fish Knife J. Soup Spoon K. Bread Plate L. Butter Knife M. Dessert Spoon N. Dessert Fork O. Water Goblet P. Red Wine Glass Q.White Wine Glass



QUOTE
OF THE
DAY:                            
"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the
feelings of others.    If you have
that
awareness,  you have good manners no matter what fork you use !"



The New Parent Test

Take this hilarious 'test' designed to find out if you're ready to have kids.



Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Men: To prepare for children
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2: Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3: Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 – 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4: Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5: Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6: Going for a walk

a. Wait.
b. Go out the front door.
c. Come back in again.
d. Go out.
e. Come back in again.
f. Go out again.
g. Walk down the front path.
h. Walk back up it.
i. Walk down it again.
j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
l. Retrace your steps.
m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
n. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7: Conversations with children

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8: Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child – a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10:TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11: Mess

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.

Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13: Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14: Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
This article originally appeared on the

Friday, November 22, 2013

Fwd: Dr. Oz on eating fruit!!!! and three habits of successful people



Three Simple Habits of Remarkably Efficient People

Anyone else out there have a “to-do” list longer than the circumference of their home? I used to have one just like that, too.

Here’s the good news—it’s not about getting it all done. Truly. It is about strategically getting the most effective items done that will yield the best results. As Pirkei Avot (2:16) teaches, Lo alecha ha-melachah ligmor—it’s really not about finishing all the work, but about doing our part.

Many of us want to have magic time-management makeovers that will make us become 100% efficient overnight. You would be totally forgiven if you thought you also needed to revamp and track your every action. Don’t worry: in reality, if you can implement a few key items, you can really increase your productivity.

If you can implement a few key items, you can really increase your productivity

These cherry-picked tips are tried and tested to give you a quick route to über-efficiency. By incorporating the following tips, you can turn your productivity on its head and join the ranks of the relaxed and efficient.

1. Write it Down!

You will thank me profusely for this one, and when I take the time (most days) to do this, I thank myself too. Here’s the trick: Write down the 5–8 tasks you must get done the following day. Use a fresh sheet in your notepad, the notepad on your iPhone, or stick a Post-It note on your forehead. Bottom line, à la Peter Drucker: “What gets measured, gets managed.”

2. Leverage Your Work Time

The creator of Dilbert once commented that he is an early bird and gets the bulk of his work done between 5 AM and 8 AM, and his creativity would be seriously stifled if he had to work around any other schedule.

Figure out when you get your best work done, and leverage the bulk of your work around that time. As the saying goes, “It’s so easy when I want to, and so hard when I have to.” Stop working around someone else’s schedule, and be the master of your own efficiency.

3. “Next Step” Homework

Often, after interacting with people via e‑mail, text, phone, or even (shock, horror!) in person, there is a “next step” that needs to be taken care of. It can be anything from scheduling a coffee meeting on Tuesday, e‑mailing them your latest blog post, ordering a book they had recommended, writing them a thank-you note, or any other type of “homework.” Don’t be tempted to remember it “later.” Write it down right away, or if it can be done in two minutes or less, take care of business right then and there. Yes, I am Take care of business right then and therechallenging you to order a new book from Amazon, enter a coffee date into your Google calendar, and send a thank-you text in two minutes or less.

By incorporating these three habits into your everyday life, you will notice more efficient living and less “stuff” falling through the cracks. Instantly. Thank me later; first write down the “next step” homework from that phone meeting you just had.



 
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Wow. This is truly enlightening.
I thought it was going to be funny.

But there are some very interesting healthy facts

included here.


Read on.
EATING FRUIT

 


 

This is informative!

 

We all think eating fruit means just buying fruit, cutting it up and popping it into our mouths. It's not that easy. It's important to know how and when to eat fruit.
What's the correct way to eat fruit? IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUIT AFTER A MEAL! FRUIT SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
Eating fruit like that plays a major role in detoxifying your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.
FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD.

 Let's say you eat two slices of bread, then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it's prevented from doing so.

 In the meantime, the whole meal rots and ferments, and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.
Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! You've heard people complain: Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc. This will not happen if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. Fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat!
There's no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruit becomes alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruit, you have the Secret of Beauty, Longevity, Health, Energy, Happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT the concentrated juice from the cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated. Don't eat cooked fruit; you don't get the nutrients at all. You get only the taste. Cooking destroys all of the vitamins.
Eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit-fast to cleanse your body. Eat fruit and drink fruit juice for just 3 days, and you will be surprised when your friends say how radiant you look!
KIWI: Tiny but mighty, and a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E and fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange!

AN APPLE a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants and flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C, thereby helping to lower the risk of colon cancer, heart attack and stroke.

STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits and protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.

EATING 2 - 4 ORANGES a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent and dissolve kidney stones, and reduce the risk of colon cancer.

WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. Also a key source of lycopene, the cancer-fighting oxidant. Also found in watermelon: Vitamin C and Potassium.

GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene, good for your eyes.

 Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer!

 Can you believe this? For those who like to drink cold water, this applies to you. It's nice to have a cold drink after a meal, however, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you've just consumed, which slows digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

 A serious note about heart attacks.

 HEART ATTACK PROCEDURE

 Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. Sixty percent of people who have a heart attack while they're asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Be careful, and be aware. The more we know, the better our chance to survive.

A cardiologist said if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

 
It can even be your life!
"Life is a gift-Unwrap it".
 
 








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