The ancient tradition of the Jewish “Day of Love” is on “Tu B’Av” or, the 15th of the Jewish month of Av, which like all Jewish days, starts at sunset the day before, and continues until sunset the following day. The tradition was that unmarried women should go to dance in the vineyards, wearing white dresses (so that no one had the advantage of fancy clothes) and that men would go and pick one to be their bride. The Talmud speaks about this tradition immediately after describing how to mark the sad day of Tisha B’Av, which was the week before. In Tractate Taanit, the young men are called upon to choose wisely, using Proverbs 31 as their guide. The theme of love and marriage is so important in Judaism, and indeed the Bible, not only to be fruitful and multiply, but because it manifests the plans, heart and nature of God, right before our eyes. The very definition of true love. The Jewish TraditionThis Jewish text, remembering times from before the destruction of the temple in 70 AD, gives us some insight into the celebrations of Tu B’Av: “Rabbi Simeon ben Gamaliel said: there never were in Israel greater days of joy than the fifteenth of Av and the Day of Atonement. On these days the daughters of Jerusalem used to walk out in white garments which they borrowed in order not to put to shame any one who had none. All these garments required ritual dipping. The daughters of Jerusalem came out and danced in the vineyards exclaiming at the same time, young man, lift up thine eyes and see what thou choosest for thyself. Do not set thine eyes on beauty but set thine eyes on [good] family. Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the lord, she shall be praised. And it further says, give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her works praise her in the gates.” Tractate Taanit 26b Today, Tu B’Av, or “Love Day” is akin to Valentines Day in many regards, but it has historically been a time for matchmaking the unmarried. Although arranged marriages are common in Hasidic Judaism, the important aspect of choice still plays a part. Although only a few dates may be had before marriage, both the man and woman are free to back out if they choose, and try again with another match. Unlike common western ideas which idolize the state of “being in love” as the end goal of a relationship and a marriage, this system assumes that love can grow and develop |
