RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE FAILURE JOKES OF THE WEEK What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate! A husband shows his wife a study which indicates that on the average men use fifteen thousand words a day, whereas women use thirty thousand. The wife thinks about this and then tells her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. The husband turns from the paper and says, "What?" Describe failure in two words? I can't. We should've known about the failure of communism. In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags... ""Never fear failure, always embrace it." My mom said as she released me from her hug. What was Genghis Khan’s failure of a brother named? Genghis Khan’t What do you call a cow that's stopped producing milk? An udder failure. Not everything on the Titanic was a failure. The pool is still full to this day. A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico. Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing George Soros- the notorious Jewish anti- Israel Billionaire woke up in the hospital after surgery he had to undergo on his visit to Israel. He asked, “Why are all the blinds drawn in here?” The nurse answered, “There’s a fire across the street and we didn’t want you to think the operation had been a failure.” Whenever I used to feel sad for any failure, my dad would tell me.. "Don't worry son, keep trying. Sky is the limit for you." I will never forgive the old man for ruining my chances of becoming an astronaut. A 5 year old boy was in kidney failure. Dad: "Son, I'm sorry, but your kidneys aren't working anymore." Son: "it's gonna be fine, dad." Dad: "I know...we can start dialysis and get you on the donor list." Son: "I was actually thinking about just asking for my adult knees early.". (It took me twice… but actually its pretty teef… if you think about it…) I created a Reddit competitor. It's failure was poetic, given its name: Blue-it Why was the baseball stadium in Poland a huge failure? Pretty much anywhere you sat you were behind a Pole. A moth goes into a pediatrist’s office, the pediatrist asks the moth, “what seems to be the problem?” The moth responds, “My whole life is a mess. My marriage is in shambles, my daughter married this guy who I despise and who despises me, my son is a wretched failure, which only reflects my own failures.” Understandably confused, the pediatrist asks “that all sounds truly awful, but I’m a pediatrist, what is it that brings you to *my* office?” The moth says, “oh, the light was on.”
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