Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Airbus A 380 - cockpit and the Kosher computer


Subject: A Kosher Computer

I don't know if you know  this,  but you can now  purchase Kosher computers! 
They are made in  Israel  by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so 
low, even  with the  shipping from Israel ! However, before you  purchase  a 
kosher  computer of your own, you should know that there are  some  important  
changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used   to, such  as: 

1)   The "Start"   button has been  replaced with a "Let's go!! I'm not 
getting any   younger!" button.  

2)   You hear   "Hava Nagila" during  startup. 

3)   The cursor   moves from right to  left. 

4) When   Spell-checker finds an error it  prompts, "Is this the best you can 

5) When you   look at erotic images, your  computer says, "If your mother 
knew  you  did this, she would  die."

6) It comes   with a "monitor cleaning  solution" from Manischewitz that gets 
rid  of  all the "schmutz und  drek." 

7) When   running "Scan Disk" it prompts you  with a "You want I should fix  
this?"  message. 

8) After 20  minutes of no activity, your  PC goes  "Schloffen."

9) The PC   shuts down automatically at  sundown on Friday evenings.   

10) It   comes with two hard drives--one for  fleyshedik (business software)  
and  one for milchedik (games).  

11) Instead   of getting a! "General  Protection Fault" error, your PC now 
gets   "Ferklempt."  

12) The   multimedia player has been renamed  to "Nu, so play my music  
already!"  corner.  

13) When   your PC is working too hard, you  occasionally hear a loud "Oy  

14) Computer viruses  can now be cured with matzo  ball  soup.

16) When   disconnecting external devices from  the PC, you are instructed to 
  "Remove the cable from the PC's  tuchus." 

17) After your  computer  dies, you have to dispose  of it within 24 hours.  

18) But best of  all, if you have a  kosher computer, you  can't get SPAM...