Flagstaff Arizona, since Arizona is in the news and Happy Lag BaOmer a little know Jewish holiday

Occasionally, since I am also a Rabbi, I have to share some interesting Jewish stuff, or I would not be me.

Lag BaOmer - this year, May 2, 2010,(the 33rd day of the Omer count) celebrates the end of the plague amongst Rabbi Akiva's (one of our most famous and brilliant Rabbis) students, and the ascent on high of the soul of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai (considered the main Rabbi  of the Kabbala ).

The mourning practices of the Omer period are suspended, which is why many three-year-old boys receive their first haircut on this day.

Many visit the grave site of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai in Meron in northern Israel. It is customary to go on outings and to light bonfires; children play with bow-and-arrows to recall that "during the lifetime of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai,  the rainbow (--a sign of the world's unworthiness, as per Genesis 9:14) was not seen.

In preparation for the upcoming major holiday  of Shavuot (this year on May 19, 20, 2010) we study one of the six chapters of the Talmud's Ethics of the Fathers ("Avot") on the afternoon of each of the six Sabbaths between Passover and Shavuot; The study cycle is repeated through the summer, until the Shabbat before Rosh Hashanah.)

Subject: Flagstaff Arizona



You will not believe this!!!   Follow directions…there are two pictures, but you must read the caption right after the first picture before you see the second picture…! Read The Caption on the first photo then look at the second photo Look at the picture above and you can see where this driver broke through the guardrail, on the right side of the culvert, where the people are standing on the road, pointing.   The pick-up was traveling about 75 mph from right to left when it crashed through the guardrail.   It flipped end-over-end, bounced off and  across the culvert outlet and landed right side up on the left side of the culvert, facing the opposite direction from which the driver was traveling.     The 22-year-old driver and his 18-year-old passenger were unhurt except for minor cuts and bruises. Just outside Flagstaff , AZ on U.S. Hwy 100.     Now look at the second picture below... If this guy didn't believe in a God before, do you suppose he believes now?  Share this email with family and friends.  The greater the miracle, the more profound the faith.

This is why you don't run Red Lights! and Experience is an antidote to fear

Experience Is An Antidote To Fear

Experience is a great antidote to fear.

If you are afraid to do something and you actually do it a number of times, it gets easier. When you do something by acting "as if" you had the courage to do it, the actual experiences automatically build up your knowledge that you can do that thing you previously feared to do.

Love Yehuda

Map of USA Puzzle and Choose Happy Thoughts

Choose Happy Thoughts

You feel sad when you keep your mind focused on negative things. Your thoughts are the cause of your unhappiness.

You have a large choice of what to think about. Instead of causing yourself sadness, focus on happiness-producing thoughts.

Imagine that you have a tape recorder and are choosing between two tapes. One will make you happy and cheerful, while the other will make you sad and miserable. Only a fool would choose the tape that causes suffering.

Your mind is constantly playing tapes. It is always your choice between self-statements and thoughts that that will make you happy and cheerful, and those that will cause you misery. Consistently choose positive thoughts and you will live a happy life.

Subject:  Map of USA Puzzle

THIS IS REALLY FUN, MAKES YOU THINK,WHATS FUN IS TO HAVE A MENTAL PICTURE OF THE US, IN YOUR MIND, AND THEN START WORKING, I WAS WORKING AT IT, AND DOING VERY WELL, TILL THE DOORBELL RANG, AND WE HAD COMPANY, SO WILL TRY IT AGAIN THE EVENING, AND SEE HOW I WILL DO  HAVE FUN    Map of USA Puzzle.. THIS IS NEAT       Wonder how a high school senior would do on this one?  See how you do in placing the states of the United States of America .       All you do is look at the top of the page and drag 'n' drop the state to where it belongs.       Smart map, varies the order of the states' placement with each new try!       It isn't easy mostly because placing a state in the precise location when it as yet has no boundaries in place is a bit tricky!  No half credit for close...                           http://jimspages.com:80/States.htm <http://jimspages.com/States.htm>

AMAZING VOLCANO PHOTOS ..........and Learn to Differentiate about what is important in life

Learn To Differentiate

If your mind is focused on an insignificant incident, it can destroy your happiness if you allow it to. To feel happy, your mind has to be free of pains and misfortunes.

Learn to differentiate between productive thinking about problems as a means of solving them, and counterproductive dwelling on misfortunes which gains nothing positive and destroys your quality of life.

Saturday night the 24th of April of 2010 I heard a very inspiring story from a friend my age who had to deal with a life threatening illness.. It taught him what is important in life.

Love Yehuda

 

 

These pictures are amazing.

AMAZING VOLCANO PHOTOS

 

Click here http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/04/more_from_eyjafjallajokull.html

 

Clarify your Motivation and the US Debt Clock

Clarify Your Motivation

How can you clarify if you do good deeds because it's "the right thing to do," or merely to gain honor and approval? Ask yourself, "Would I do this if I were all alone and no one would ever find out about my good deed?"

Love Yehuda

http://www.usdebtclock.org/

The Waves of Hawaii and Objects of Appreciation

Objects of Appreciation

Every time you go to use a utensil or instrument, take pleasure and feel gratitude for the fact that you have such an object available. If you focus on this, you'll be able to be lifted many many times each day.

Some common examples include: a pen, fork, cup, key, computers, clock, chair, stapler, and eyeglasses.

Love Yehuda

Subject:The Waves of Hawaii

The Waves of  Hawaii Waimea  Bay shore-break surfing pioneer, husband, and father of two,  Clark Little has gained nationwide recognition for his photography with appearances on Good Morning America,Inside Edition, and many local news stations across the  U.S. Clark Little on Good Morning  America (2009): It all started in 2007 when  Clark's wife wanted a nice piece of art to decorate a wall. Voluntarily,  Clark grabbed a camera, jumped in the water, and starting snapping away capturing the beauty and power of monstrous Hawaiian waves from the inside out. " Clark's view" is a unique view of the ocean that most will only be able to experience safely on land while studying one of  Clark's photos.   Now with a camera upgrade and an itch to get that better shot,  Clark has taken this on full time and has moved his office from land, to the inside of a barrel. Since the recent stir of  Clark's work, his images have been run on the Today Show, ABC World News Now, Nature's Best Photography,  Paris Match (France), La Vie ( France), Hana Hou (Hawaiian Airlines) magazine, Surfer magazine, Surfer's Journal as well as multiple publishers and newspapers in the  U.S. and overseas.   These incredible images of waves in the Hawaiian Islands were taken by  Clark Little, the number one photographer of surf. He is dedicated to photographing the waves and has published a selection of his best images. He captures magical moments inside the tube as surfers say. Sun glints off  wave Clark Little/SWNS Sand in surf Clark Little/SWNS This shot captures sand from the ocean's floor being swept up by a monstrous wave and resembles a sandstorm. Little calls it the Sandmonster. There were clouds of sand ten feet high and I'm standing there. I'm holding on to my camera and my trigger as long as I can. Then I have to jump into the cloud of sand to try to get out of danger's way. His fans pay as much as $4,000 for his gorgeous photos. Tubular shining Clark Little/SWNS Beach - surf crashes down Clark Little/SWNS Molten liquid gold Clark Little/SWNS White tumultuous water Clark Little/SWNS Splash - stunning shot Clark Little/SWNS Red mysterious shot Clark Little/SWNS   Break - wave crashes down Clark Little/SWNS Beauty - water drops Clark Little/SWNS This shot is his favorite. With a high shutter speed he caught the brilliant fanned effect of two waves  intersecting each other and throwing out this beautiful fan of water.

Getting Older by George Carlin and Goals of Communication

Goals Of Communication

An important rule in communicating with others is anticipating how the other person will react. Keep asking yourself, "What is my present goal in what I'm saying?"

Be flexible. If your first approach does not get desired results, try another approach. For example, if you are trying to calm someone and what you say increases his anger, try saying something else or speaking in a different tone of voice.

When one strategy doesn't work, try another. This sounds obvious, but it's amazing how often this simple rule is violated. People tend to continue the familiar even when it does not bring them their desired results.

In communicating with another person always keep your goal in mind and ask yourself, "Am I getting closer or further away from my goal?"

Yesterday, I had a serious communication problem with a good friend. Like most human beings, he became emotional about something that was important to him, yet did not communicate to me that this was important to him, in a way that I received it. He tried to say it, but in an inappropriate way so I didn't get what he really wanted. Once I understood what he really wanted, I had no problem in giving him what was important to him, because if he was wrong, he would pay the price anyway. If it had been more important, I might have stood my ground more, but since I could find a way to give him what he wanted, I did, once I know what it was.

Since he didn't receive my communication by normal channels, I used a mediation technique with his own wife to get him to listen to me and for me  to understand him.  I was taking a big chance, because normally a person's wife is not an objective listener and I might have not been able to be able to get her to listen to me. Here, however, since I know I am G-d's hands at all times, I trusted that since she was the only person who my friend might listen to, she would be objective enough to hear what was best for all.

Love Yehuda

The pictures are gorgeous and the message great.

 

Florida Court sets Atheist's Holiday and the value of time

To realize the value of ONE YEAR,
ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH,
ask a mother who gave birth to a pre-mature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK,
ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAY,
ask a daily wage laborer with kids to feed.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR,
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE,
ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND,
ask a person who just avoided an accident.

Treasure every moment that you have!
And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!

Love Yehuda

FLORIDA COURT  SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In  Florida, an atheist created a case against  the upcoming Easter and
Passover Holy days.  He hired an attorney to bring  a discrimination case
against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy  days...  The argument
was that it was unfair that atheists had no such  recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge.  After  listening to  the passionate
presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged  his gavel declaring, "Case
dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood  objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor,
How can you possibly dismiss this  case?  The Christians have Christmas,
Easter and others.  The Jews  have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my
client and all other atheists  have no such holidays..".

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying,  "But you do. Your client,
counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer  said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or
holiday for  atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools  Day. Psalm
14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'  Thus, it is the
opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no  God, then he is
a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."  You gotta
love a Judge that knows his scripture!

Now, THIS is a snowmobile.... and it is not upon you to complete the work

It is not Upon You to Complete the Work

When you are involved in helping others, especially when it involves your family or community, you might feel overwhelmed with the sense of responsibility. This contributes to a lack peace of mind.

Remember the words of the Sages (ethics of the fathers 2:21): "It is not upon you to complete the work. On the other hand, you are not free to refrain from trying."

If you realize you are not responsible for what is beyond your control, you will retain your peace of mind - whatever the outcome.

Today, if a project you're working on does not produce the desired result, say to yourself, "Well, I know I tried my best. Now let's see how I can do even better the next time."

Love Yehuda

Fantastic ride!!   Only in the great USA!!!!  You'd think the tracks would fly off when you cut in the blower.   China will probably copy it and market, next week     Subject: Now THIS is a snowmobile     Now THIS is a snowmobile THIS IS A TOY FOR CANADIANS TO PLAY WITH IN THE LONG WINTERS. LOOKS LIKE FUN TO ME!!

Happy Birthday Israel and the value of time

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple married ten years.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby.....

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:
LOSE ONE, G-d Forbid.

Remember...

Hold on tight to the ones you love!

The past few days have been very rich in emotions and history. After remembering the victims of the Holocaust, we remembered the soldiers who fell while defending Israel. But now, after remembering the sad moments of our history, let's celebrate all together our future, the anniversary of the Jewish State, our Independence Day! Please find below the newest videos from Israel, forward them to your friends... and celebrate Israel's anniversary with us! - Israel's Memorial Day [click here] - Bar Belfer's Hatikvah [click here] - Israel's PM on Iran's Nuclear Program [click here] - U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for Israel Independence Day [click here] - Yom HaShoa - Siren [click here]   Waiting to see you on Road 90. The Road 90 Team. To register on Road 90 [click here] ROAD 90 LLC, 220 E. Delaware Avenue, #1027 Newark, DE 19711, U.S.A. Forward to a friend » Road 90 is the longest road in Israel, starting in the city of Metula in the north and going to Eilat, on the Red Sea, in the south. The purpose of this road is the same as this website: to travel, discover and share.

 

A movie that will touch your heart...and Gratitude for when things work well

Gratitude For When Things Do Work Well

Things don't always work as we would want them to. Machines break down. People don't remember to do what they said they would. Stores run out of things, and sometimes they are closed when they were scheduled to be open. Letters we were supposed to receive aren't always delivered on time. Messages are not always given to us. The amount of things that don't work out the way they usually do is enormous.

How will your emotional reaction be towards these types of occurrences? It's up to you.

Some people choose to be frustrated and disappointed. They feel stress and distress. They lack a feeling of well-being.

A master of gratitude will use all occurrences to gain greater mastery over gratitude. Each time something doesn't work out the way they would want it to, they remember to feel grateful for all the times that things do work out well. This pattern of thinking gives them feelings of happiness and joy.

When a machine breaks down, they are happy for all the times when this and other machines do work. If someone doesn't remember to do what he said he would, they are grateful for all the times this person did remember. And they are grateful for other people remembering to do what they said they would. When stores run out of things, it's a reminder to be grateful for all the times this store and other stores had the things that you needed and wanted. A message not given is a reminder to be more careful to give over messages yourself, and to be grateful for all the messages that you did receive. A letter not received on time is a reminder to be grateful for all the letters you did receive on time. All the many things that don't work out the way they usually do, are reminders to be grateful for all multitude of things that do work out.

Love Yehuda

A person who integrates this pattern will live a life of gratitude and happiness.

What is the greatest gift you'll ever give...or receive?

It might surprise you, but just Click Here to find out in this unforgettable 3 minute movie.

!

It's near springtime in Wisconsin and learn to value time

What is the value of time? Many of us live our lives as if we will live forever, putting off even important things for another day. The great rabbi, the Chofetz Chaim, wrote that every person believes that there is a club for people who die - and that they don't belong to the club.

The BIBLE  teaches us to value time. Every moment is precious. Every moment a person can do good, perfect his character, make the world a better place. The Almighty gives us a limited amount of time and it is up to us to make the most of it.

Our sages teach us that if we truly want to make the most of our time in this world, we should do a daily accounting before we go to sleep. This is called a "Cheshbon HaNefesh" - perhaps best translated as a "Soul Reckoning." How do you do it? Ask yourself 4 questions: (1) What is my purpose in life? (2) What did I do towards my purpose or away from my purpose? (3) What could I do better tomorrow? (4) What is more important to accomplish and live for? It is also an excellent idea to review your interactions with others to know if there is anyone to whom you should apologize or help.

Life is often tough. It can be very strengthening to focus on the fact that If you are still here, then the Almighty is giving you this time for a purpose and you have not yet completed your job in this world.

The following anonymous "refrigerator piece" can help one appreciate the value of time:

"Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!

"Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow." You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today!"

Love Yehuda

 

It's near springtime in Wisconsin But only NEAR!!

---

--  Jane Gillen Department Secretary Computer Science ITTC 305 University of Northern Iowa Cedar Falls, IA  50614-0507 Office:  319.273.2618 Fax:     319.273.7123 

Chopped liver and renew your mood!! Happy April 16th!!

Renew Your Mood

Events by themselves cannot make you sad. It is your attitude toward those events that make you sad.

To overcome feelings of sadness, become aware of the message your negative thoughts are communicating -- about yourself, about the event, or about life in general. The next step is to change these negative thoughts to more positive ones.

Repeat positive statements to yourself. Your mood will change.

 

Love Yehuda

 

It's a parody of Olde Man River…enjoy.

 

 

I think you will enoy this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k0DAerBho8

 

free flight and what you can learn from failure on this tax day April 15, 2010

 Mac Anderson is one of the most successful producers of motivational books, tapes etc.  After a period of rapid growth his company went into a tailspin He asks "What did I learn  from that failure? After some soul searching, I came to realize that my strengths were my people skills and creative skills. He said "My weaknesses, on the other hand, were in the details - accounting and operations that were critical to success. I needed to hire people who had been there and done that; so we could rebuild our infrastructure to grow the business again."

"It was a very painful wake-up call. I had failed greatly...but from that failure came some of the most valuable lessons in my life."

Now, I, Yehuda, have different positive skills, my accounting and people skills are obviously strong, but I am not as keen on details. One has to have trust in your detail person otherwise you also fail.

One has to realize that one can constantly fail without both trust in G-d and helping yourself. Even when things seem to be sailing along, a tremendous blow can happen at any second. I had that this year in the loss of my assistant who I hired to help with the details.

King David is our primary teacher, in how one can constantly fail, but pick your self up and start again. He did not let his failures stop him from being the greatest. He had to however learn, how to handle failure.

Failure is a big part of life, but it's how we react to failing that will determine our destiny. If we learn from it and move on, it can help to make us all we can be. If you fear it to the extent that you never take risks, you'll never grow.

Love Yehuda

Speaking of failure, enjoy this film about free flight of some of our fastest birds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-_RHRAzUHM&feature=player_embedded

--
"The past is history, the future a mystery and now is the gift - which is why it's called the present."
Enjoy this life~~~ For one day, we shall be gone.

Funny ANIMATION and all for one or one for all on April 14th

All For One Or One For All

Some people need your help only once in a while. Others will need your help over and over again.

Each act of kindness is a separate entity of immense value.

If you do 100 acts of kindness, these produce 100 sources of light --

whether they were done to help 100 different people or the same person.

I especially know this during tax season when I help 300 people.

Love Yehuda

 

All I can say is, "WOW !! "What an Animation !! Enjoy this one at any age!     http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=jEjUAnPc2VA#t=20

New Aspirin and life is a gift

The introduction of this beautiful book

by Barry Gottlieb

starts like this:

When I was a younger man, I lived my life with a philosophy of, "What's in it for me?" That all changed with one sentence... "You need to get your affairs in order. You have three months, six at the most, to live."

I sat across the desk from my oncologist as he spoke those words that shook my world. I thought he must be talking about somebody else.

I was diagnosed with a very rapid, fatal form of cancer. The doctor told me that there really wasn't anything they could do for it. He asked if I would be willing to try different types of experimental treatments. I figured I had no other options. The treatments made me unbelievably ill. There were many times when I thought that death would be kinder.

This was the bad news for author, Barry Gottlieb. The goods news, however was "off the charts!" A few weeks later he received a phone call from his doctor screaming on the phone..."You don't have cancer! It was a misdiagnosis...a mistake by the lab."

Can you imagine this happening to you? The roller coaster of emotions!

However, for Barry, it changed the way he thought about life. From that day forward, he said, "I made the decision to treat every day as a gift." Thus, the inspiration for this wonderful "manual for life."

Today, I'll share one of Barry's 33 chapters with you, titled True Abundance. Enjoy!

Excerpt from:
Every Day is a Gift,
by Barry Gottlieb

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
~The Dalai Lama

What does "True Abundance" mean to you?

According to Wikipedia, the definition of abundance is "the opposite of scarcity." I believe true abundance is not measured by what you have; rather, it is measured by what you give.

In our culture, it seems that most people are caught up in their "need for greed." Perhaps this is why so many people struggle to find their happiness, and why over 25% of the people in our country suffer from anxiety. We live in a culture where we are taught to judge a person based on what they have, rather than on who they are and what they contribute to society.

I was very fortunate to have met a professor that changed my whole way of thinking. I was one of those people with a, "What's in it for me" attitude when I started his class. By the end of the semester though, my philosophy and my attitude had changed. Forever! This is what I learned:

"You can have anything you want in life, if you will just help enough other people get what they want."
~Zig Ziglar

I challenge you to focus on this philosophy for an entire month! Here are some action steps that will help you stay focused on this incredible gift:

ACTION STEPS

Gratitude. Every night before you go to sleep, recite aloud at least ten things for which you are grateful.

Forgive. Let go of the past. Forgive those who have hurt or angered you. Stop carrying this poison around with you every day.

Love. Be sure to tell those people in your life who mean so much to you that you love them and appreciate them.

Donate. Go through your closets. Anything you haven't worn or used in the past year, box it or bag it and take it to a place where those who are less fortunate will benefit from your donation. Get your children involved!

Praise. Make time to praise. Look for and recognize the good in others.

Love Yehuda

Subject: : New Aspirin

---

  

Subject:  NEW ASPIRIN

 
IMPORTANT READ.....

Something that we can do to help ourselves.  Nice to know. 
Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve under the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets.


Why keep aspirin by your bedside? 
About Heart Attacks

There are other symptoms of an heart attack besides the pain on the left arm. 
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of  sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack.  The majority of people (about 60%) who  had a heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up.  However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.
Afterwards:
- phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by
- say "heart attack!"
- say that you have taken 2 aspirins..
- take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and...
~ do NOT lie down ~

A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life can be saved!


Do forward this message; it may save lives!

 

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

 

 

Great pictures and Courage for Good

Courage For Good

Courage enables a person to say what is on his mind. This is wonderful for someone who has deep respect for other people. He realizes that each person is created in the image of the Creator and therefore he has a basic respect for every person he encounters.

This is wonderful for someone who consistently sees the good in others, and even though he is aware of faults and limitations, he focuses on the good and the potential good. This is wonderful for someone who is on a high level of love for other people and therefore would never want to needlessly cause anyone pain.

For courage to be valuable, the owner of that attribute needs to be sensitive to the feelings of others. While he has the assertiveness to say whatever he feels like saying, he would not feel like saying something that is needlessly painful. He will be careful how he says whatever he says. He pays attention to the outcome of his messages. Since there are always a multitude of ways to word any message, he will choose the most sensitive approach.

Love Yehuda

 
In a gentle way you can shake the world.

Deer visits cat every day and how to calm an angry person

How to Calm an Angry Person

Redford Williams, MD

Duke University Medical Center

hen someone is angry, our instinctive reaction typically is to get defensive (if the person is angry at us) or to give advice (if he/she is angry at someone else). These responses are not useful -- they do not resolve the situation and even may inflame him further. More effective...

WHEN YOU ARE NOT THE  Target

If your answer to any of the four I AM WORTH IT questions gets a "no" -- focus on controlling your reaction. Don't say anything to the person. Instead, if the situation isn't important or can't be changed, say to yourself, "Hey, it's not that important," or "There's nothing I can do to change this guy." If requesting change isn't appropriate or worth it, you can distract yourself by thinking about something pleasant or doing something else... or by taking a few deep breaths and thinking the word "calm" as you inhale and "down" as you exhale. This is not the same as passively giving in. You are evaluating the situation and making a rational decision.

The best way to calm someone who is angry at someone else is to let him vent. Don't interrupt or tell him why he shouldn't be angry or that he should let it go. Don't talk about the time you got mad about the same thing -- this implies that your reaction is more important than his.

When he has talked himself out, acknowledge his feelings -- whether or not you agree with his views.
Example: "Wow, you're really angry with your boss. I can see how upset you are."
After listening and acknowledging, ask if there is any way you can help. In many cases, the other person will say that you have helped just by listening. You also might be able to assist with brainstorming and problem solving. But if you try to solve the problem before hearing the person out or without his approval, he most likely will feel angrier.

WHEN THE ANGER IS DIRECTED AT YOU

When someone lashes out at you, the primitive part of your brain is activated. This creates the impulse to defend yourself from attack by telling the other person he is wrong or irrational or by getting angry yourself.
Instead, before responding, pause for a few moments and silently ask yourself four questions...

1. Is this situation important?
2. Is my reaction appropriate?
3. Is the situation modifiable?
4. If so, is taking action worth it?
To remember the four questions when you are under stress, use the partial acronym I AM WORTH IT. I stands for Important... AM stands for Appropriate and Modifiable... WORTH IT, of course, stands for the last question.
If the answer to all four questions is "yes," then assert yourself by telling the person...

Exactly what he is doing.

How it makes you feel.

What, specifically, you would like him to do differently.

Keep your voice fairly quiet and your tone neutral. Describe behavior, not motives or personal characteristics.
Example: My wife used this technique when I came home in a bad mood at the end of a tough day. Virginia was preparing dinner. On the kitchen counter was a big stack of mail-order catalogs that she had promised to look through a few days earlier. I snapped, "What are these damn catalogs doing here?"
Virginia didn't say a word for about 20 seconds. Then she replied calmly, "Redford, you just walked into the kitchen and said, 'What are these damn catalogs doing here?'' (She told me what I had done.) I came home early to make dinner, and now, I am feeling hurt, unappreciated and, frankly, angry at you. (She told me how it made her feel.) Would it be possible for you to come home at the end of the day and not have the first words out of your mouth be something critical?" (What she would like me to do.)
I turned around, walked out of the kitchen, came back in and said, "Mmm, smells good. What's for supper?"
When I first arrived home, Virginia could have fueled an argument by snapping back, "What's the matter with you, coming home and criticizing me?" Instead, during those 20 seconds of silence, she asked herself the four questions. Then she made a specific observation and a request for change.
If you need to respond to an angry outburst in a setting where expressing personal feelings is not appropriate -- for example, at work -- use a results-oriented word, such as "helpful."
Example: "Bill, you just told me that my marketing idea for the new product is the stupidest thing you ever heard. I need to let you know that calling my suggestion stupid isn't helpful. If you could give me some of the reasons you think it won't work, I'd appreciate it."

Love Yehuda

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Isn't this just amazing that animals can pal around with each other and humans have problems doing it????  A cat in Harrisburg  has a special friend that visits every day..  Deer visits cat in yard every morning!  The owner finally took pictures. Be sure to scroll the screen to see the full shots.  There is nothing more wonderful than animals...:-