Whenever we have repeated a pattern many times, it is difficult to change. But all patterns ultimately can in fact be changed. It is a question of having a clear goal - and then being motivated to take action.
It is easier to change patterns when two parties are willing to work together. If you are the only one, it takes more strength, more courage, and more resilience. That's why cooperation is essential in a marriage.
The Almighty leads a person on the path on which he wants to go. May He give you the wisdom to make the right decisions and choices, and the strength and courage to follow through!
Love Yehuda
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