Monday, July 17, 2017

Footage of Civil War Veterans at 50yr Anniversary in 1913 & 75yr Anniversary in 1938

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Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor

Weigh Insults Impartially

It is easy to be objective about others and understand that they should overlook insults: "So what if someone said this or that remark?" View insults directed to you in the same manner. Ask yourself, "How would I consider this if it was said to someone else?" Yes, it is difficult to ignore insults, but we have an obligation to work on ourselves not to let things bother us.

Love Yehuda Lave

Footage of Civil War Veterans at 50yr Anniversary in 1913 & 75yr Anniversary in 1938

Subject: Classic Yiddish Jokes


A Rabbi approaches a guest in Shul and says, "I'd like to
give you an Aliyah (an invitation to participate in the Torah reading). What is your name?"


The man answers, "Esther ben Moshe."


The Rabbi says, "No, I need YOUR name."


"It's Esther ben Moshe," the man says."


"How can that be your name?" asks the Rabbi.


The man answers, "I've been having financial problems, so everything now is in my wife's name."




Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for
arthritis, had a waiting-room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and emerged within half an hour walking completely erect, with her head held high.


A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle!
You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?"


She answered, "Miracle, shmiracle. . . he gave me a longer cane."




The Italian says, "I'm thirsty. I must have wine."
The Frenchman says, "I'm thirsty. I must have cognac."
The Russian says, "I'm thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says, "I'm thirsty. I must have beer."
The Mexican says, "I'm thirsty. I must have tequila."
The Jewish man says, "I'm thirsty. I must have diabetes."






When young David was asked by his father to
say the evening prayer, he realized he didn't have his head covered, so he asked his little brother, Henry, to rest a hand on his head until prayers were over. Henry grew impatient after a few minutes and removed his hand.


The father said, "This is important ... put your hand back on his head!" to which Henry exclaimed, "What, am I - my brother's kippah?"





A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium.
He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics.
He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?"


"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer."


"Never heard of him," said the visitor. "What did he write?"


"A check," replied the guide.





Yeshiva University decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours every day, they never manage to come in any better than dead last.

Finally, the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, its captain, to spy on Harvard, the perennial championship team. So Morris schlepps off to Cambridge, Mass., and hides in the bushes next to the Charles River, where he carefully watches the Harvard team at its daily practice.

After a week, Morris returns to Yeshiva.
"Well, I figured out their secret," he announces.

"What? Tell us! Tell us!" his teammates shout.

"We should have only one guy yelling. The other eight
should row."

Torah portion 'Balak'.

This portion tells us about Balak, the king of Moab, who invites Balaam the prophet to curse the people of Israel.  Balaam asks G-d whether he should go.


Initially G-d prohibits Balaam from going to Balak, but when Balaam asks for the second time, G-d does tell him to go. 


From this incident our sages learn a very important lesson:


A person is led (by heaven) in the way
he himself wants to take


בדרך שאדם רוצה לילך מוליכים אותו


On the way, Balaam is berated by his talking female donkey, who sees, before Balaam does, the angel that G‑d sends to block their way.  




Balaam then goes on and attempts to pronounce his curses three times, from three different vantage points; each time, blessings issue forth instead.  


One of his blessings is also one of the most famous passages in the Torah:



"How good are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel!


Balaam also prophesies on the end of the days and the coming of Mashiach - Messiah.




At the end of this portion we learn that people of Israel fall prey to the charms of the daughters of Moab, and are enticed to worship the idol Peor. When a leading Israelite official publicly takes a Midianite princess into a tent a plague started spreading killing many.


Aaron's grandson Pinchas kills both – the Israelite leader and the princess, stopping the plague raging among the people.


Our sages learn 




A story is told about one of the students of R' Yonatan Eybeshutz who decided to continue his studies in the great yeshiva in Vilna.


He asked R' Yonatan for a letter of recommendation.



R' Yonatan took a blank sheet of paper and wrote on one side the word מי "who" (mi) and then wrote the word  מי "who" (mi) on the other side of the sheet as well.


The young man looked at the sheet and did not understand what the rabbi meant.

When he arrived in the city of Vilna, he showed the sheet to the Vilna Gaon. 
The Gaon looked at the sheet, smiled and said:

R' Yonatan meant מי as an acronym  "M.I."


It appears in the will of R' Akavia ben Mehal'el for his son.


"Your deeds will bring you close" - (Ma'asecha Ikarvukha)"


מַעֲשֶׂיךָ יְקָרְבוּךָ​



"Your deeds will distance you - (Ma'asecha Irachakukha)."

מַעֲשֶׂיךָ יְרַחֲקוּךָ


This will is fitting everybody because we all pave our path in life with our deeds, and the heavens lead us in the way that we chose for ourselves.


Thus we find that at the end of the matter, Balaam was allowed to take the path that he himself chose – to curse the nation of Israel despite the fact that he knew that it was not the will of God.


Balaam indeed went on his way to curse, but his curses were turned into blessings as is said in the verse:


מַה-טֹּבוּ אֹהָלֶיךָ, יַעֲקֹב; מִשְׁכְּנֹתֶיךָ, יִשְׂרָאֵל


"How good are your tents, O Yaakov, your dwelling places, O Israel." (Numbers 24:5)


Interestingly enough, this verse became a central one in the Jewish morning prayer שחרית - 'Shaharit'. 


Trailer Assist by Volkswagen: The new tv-commercial

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Love Yehuda Lave

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

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