|  	                                                                                      BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT                                                                             These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old,
 Hateful little bastard.
 Bites!
 FREE PUPPIES
 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
 FREE PUPPIES.
 Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
 Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
   COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.   JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100.     WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE ... Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie FOR SALE BY OWNER.
 Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
 Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
 Statement of the Century
 Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Children Are Quick
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   TEACHER: Why are you late?STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
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 TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
 JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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 TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
 GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
 TEACHER: No, that's wrong
 GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 (I Love this child)
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 TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
 DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
 TEACHER: What are you talking about?
 DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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 TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago
 WINNIE: Me!
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 TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
 GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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 ______________________________TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
 Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
 LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
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 TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
 SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
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 TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
 Did you copy his?
 CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
   (I want to adopt this kid!!!)______________________________ _____
 TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
 HAROLD: A teacher
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 PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH
 Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
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