RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE IDENTITY JOKES OF THE WEEK A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having an identity crisis "Some days I feel like a teepee" he says. "Then other days I feel like a wigwam. I dont know which one is true" "One day, teepee! The next, wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam!" The psychiatrist yells, "Get a grip, man! You're too tense!" Shout out to all my friends having an identity crisis. , You know who you are, I think? I encountered an eagle with an identity crisis...He's watching me like a hawk. Scientists have conducted blood tests on a frog to extract DNA and confirm its identity. They have discovered that the frog was:- 30% Russian 30% French 20% Italian 10% Spanish 5% British 4% Dutch And a tad Pole...! What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist? "Let me be Frank with you." Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places. You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time There's no 'I' in 'team,' But there are six in 'Dissociative Identity Disorder.' What do you call an identity stealing spaghetti? An impasta! What was the true secret identity of Israeli Spider-Man? Pita Parker What do you call the identity of a person who secretly is a priest? It's an altar ego. I have the only identity where if it was stolen... The person who took it would ask for a refund A frog goes into the bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack,so he says "Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow $30,000, please." The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her. The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000," she tells her boss. "And what do you think this elephant is about?" The manager looks back at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.' What do you call a baker who has no identity? John Dough |