RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE EVIL JOKES OF THE WEEK Why is the North Korean dictator so evil? Because he has no Seoul.
What's an evil gathering called? A demon-stration
What is the opposite of evil? Live… Cool!
Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.
I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed. If the number 666 is considered evil, is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?
I think my wife has weekly sessions with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him for it though.
I just opened a wig shop for vengeful mad scientists and evil geniuses experiencing hair loss.
It's called "There'll be hell toupee". Where do evil wizards do their shopping? Volde Mart.
The problem with the American two-party system is that everyone agrees one political party is stupid and the other party is evil. But they violently disagree about which one is which.
What does an evil cow say after it does something evil? "Moo hahaha…Moo hahaha"
who's the most evil muslim person that ever lived? a guy named Muhahahahahamed, probably What is the most Evil letter of the Alphabet? Not Z!
What do you call an angel that turned evil? A 180° Angel
What did the evil fraction say? You will never stop my plans for world denomination.
An antivaxer has a heart attack. He's rushed to ER, but during the emergency surgery, his heart stops, rendering him clinically dead. Before he knows it, he's face to face with none other than God himself, Author of the Universe, Maker of All. God smiles beatifically and says,
"Don't worry. The doctors working on you are good; you'll be back in no time. But as long as you're here, do you have any questions you'd like to ask?"
The antivaxer thinks and says, "I know there must be reasons, beyond our understanding, why evil is allowed to exist. But why on Earth do you allow the evil, corrupt system of vaccines to exist?!"
God shakes His head, patiently. "My child," He says, "It is not evil to be mistaken. Which is to your benefit, because in this case, the mistake is yours. Just as so many people have tried to tell you over the years, vaccines are effective and far safer than the diseases they protect against. I give you My Word on that. Now, return, with My Peace upon you." Suddenly, the antivaxer is staring up at the ceiling of an operating room, as his heart starts beating on its own once more. By the time he's able to receive visitors, the man is desperate to talk to his antivax friends, to let them know the vital truth he brought back from the other side. He calls them all and insisted that they be there at his side the very minute he's cleared to see anyone - he has huge, huge, HUGE news for them. Finally, his friends are gathered around him, and he motions for them to gather close. "It turns out," he starts, "the conspiracy goes a LOT higher up than we thought…" |