| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE MAIL JOKES OF THE WEEK Today I went to the post office to mail 20 letters... so I bought 20 stamps...
and the clerk just handed them to me. So I said "Am I supposed to stick all these on myself?"...and she said "No. Stick them on the envelopes.." An elephant went to the post office to get a PO Box. The clerk was happy to address the elephant in the room.
Did you know if you rearrange the letters in "THE POST OFFICE" Nobody gets their mail.
Why don't women work at the post office? It's a mail dominated industry.
A marine biologist walks into the post office and says he needs to send a large tank overnight. The postal worker asks for the dimensions of the tank and when the biologist gives them to him the postal worker says, "We can't send a tank that big overnight. It'll have to go by freight train."
The biologist pleads with the postal worker. He says, "That tank contains a marine mammal that is very sick. Can't you make an exception and send it by air overnight so that it can get the treatment it needs? I've been working with him for years and he's one of the sweetest, smartest animals I've encountered. Here's a photo." The postal worker looks at the photo and thinks for a moment, and then he says, "Okay. We can make an exception. But only for this express porpoise." A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. Why don't you put a post office next to a liberal arts college? They'll always argue over the male agenda.
What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it? Post office
Why will the U.S. Post Office never issue a Donald Trump stamp? Because 60 percent of Americans would spit on the front side, and 40 percent would lick the back side..
The problem with the American two-party system is that everyone agrees one political party is stupid and the other party is evil. But they violently disagree about which one is which.
I was at the Post Office, when I saw a blonde woman shouting into an envelope.
I asked, "what are you doing ??" The blonde replied, "Sending a voice mail".... Odd how you can only send mail during the day. They are called post office hours, after all. OYY…
The new mailman is delivering a registered parcel and needs a signature, so he rings the doorbell. Sadie sticks her head out of the bedroom window and says, "Nu, what is it?"
"I have a registered parcel for Mrs. Levy," he replies. "Is it wrapped in fancy gift paper or just plain brown paper?" Sadie asks. "Ordinary brown paper, madam," he replies. "So who is it from?" Sadie asks. "It's from Macy's department store," he replies. "Does it say from which branch?" Sadie asks. "Yes, madam," he replies, "it's from Main Street." "Does it say what's in it?" Sadie asks. "It says it's from their Cooking ware department," he replies. "Will you now come down and sign for it, please." "Sorry," replies Sadie, "I can't do that." "Why not?" he asks. "Because," Sadie replies, "I'm Sadie Cohen. Mrs. Levy lives next door."! | 
