| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE CONTROL JOKES OF THE WEEK People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and the state controlled national news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.
If a sheep is in control of a country, it will be called A dictatorsheep
A German Shepherd and a Sheep are out on a date...
German Shepherd: "What do you mean I'm too controlling?!" Sheep: "You herd me." Man does not control his own fate- The women in his life do that for him- Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, "Well, this changes everything"
Needed: people with a lot of self control for working at a bubble wrap factory.
My wife tells me my conspiracy theory obsession is getting out of control.. I wonder how much the government paid her to say that.
My daughter thinks I'm nosy and controlling. At least that's what she wrote in her diary.
Putin is going through passport control. He's asked: - "Final destination?" - "Kiev" - "Occupation?" - "yes" The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.
Astonishing! said the truck driver to the crew chief. "What was the white stuff you used to stick all the pieces together?" "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste." I called Animal control Welfare today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods with a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?" "I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase." My Grandad asked me how to print. I said "Control P"
He said: "I haven't been able to do that for years!" (sorry couldn't resist… too many terrible jokes until now..) The man who invented the remote control has died age 96. He was found down the back of the sofa.
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