| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S SMELL JOKES OF THE WEEK A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My Son, it's caused by loose living, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well, I'll be," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does". New Teslas don't come with a new car smell. They come with an Elon Musk.
My wife said she could smell an Indian flatbread from a mile away. I said that was naan scents.
What tastes better than it smells? Your tongue.
4 million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!! Man, I hate babies.
What would happen if skunks lost their smell? They'd become ex-stinked.
My toenails turned green, shrank, and started smelling like mint. My doctor says I have a rare condition called Tic Tac Toes.
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it. 2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it. 3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid. Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something. I am so nervous. This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS. So I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's chamber with Marijuana. He's a High priest now
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