Monday, December 28, 2015

Speaking English is what kills you

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

Staying Calm Under Pressure

I asked a person I once met how he became so skilled at staying calm under pressure. He said, "I pretend that everything that happens is on a large video screen. Every person I interact with is part of the scenery. I'm the only person that is alive and real; everyone and everything else is just what I see on the screen of my mind.

"My choices of thoughts, words, and actions are like a game I am playing on the screen. I always maintain self-respect and respect for others, but nothing anyone says or does will intimidate me.

"If someone raises his voice and yells at me, I imagine the clown on the screen acting like he has lost his temper. I don't have to worry as long as I'm not in physical danger.

"I keep asking myself, 'What would be the wisest thing for me to think, say, and do now?' Because I keep calm, I am able to think more objectively."

I think of the verse that we read on Jewish Holidays from the Hallel prayer that says "This is the day that the Lord has made for me and I will rejoice in it"

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

This is a Chinese Doctor so he talks a little funny.

My New Physician Love this Doctor! Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.CONCLUSION:Eat and drink what you like.Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Vote for Video of the Day! The Most Fascinating Video Ever Made About the Jewish People
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​ Rabbi Yissacher Shlomo Teichtel, author of Eim HaBanim Semeichah

Rabbi Yissacher Shlomo Teichtel, author of Eim HaBanim Semeichah writes while on the run from the Nazis, " I must confess the truth and declare my sin. I, too, despised the rebuilding of the Land, because I heard unqualified statements made by many Orthodox Jews ( including the Rabbinim of Monkatch and Satmar, of which he was part) which became firmly implanted in my heart...Hashem enlightened me and I saw that I and all those who opposed this (Zionist) movement were mistaken."

He adds that his reason for writing the book which is documented with many sources of support, ..." Hashem knows and can testify that I did not write this book to be boastful or arrogant. I wrote it for the sake of truth and justice, for the sake of G-d's glorious name, for the sake of our nation's honor and for the honor of our Holy Land...."

Hypocrisy over Gaza

The Priceless Parody About One Jew's Interesting Christmas Day Schedule
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Brilliant Photos for 2015

Nasa conducts MORE secret tests of its 'impossible engine'

Details of the test were given by Paul March, one of the top engineers working the EM Drive thruster in Texas. He said improved tests on the thruster removed errors from earlier studies.

Read the full story:

8 November 2015