PROBLEMS, PROBLEMS, PROBLEMS... It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated. The following is a recap of my current identity: I was born white, which makes me a racist. · I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist. I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobe. · I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business. I am a Christian, which makes me an infidel.· I am older than 65 and retired, which makes me a useless old person. · I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary. · I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.· I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which makes me anti-social. I believe in the 2nd Amendment which makes me a killer. I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist. Please help me come to terms with this, because I'm not sure who I am anymore! Oh, my newest problem – I'm so confused I don't know which bathroom I should use. |