Wednesday, September 20, 2017

12 Signs you grew up Jewish in Chicago like I did and Rosh Hashana starts tonoight..No blog for three days

Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor
To make an unpleasant event more enjoyable, CHOOSE to do whatever it is you have to do. Instead of saying, "I hate this, it's so hard," tell yourself, "I've CHOSEN this! I WANT to do my taxes/exercise, etc."


Be aware of your temperamental language (your mind believes it!)

For example, stop referring to ordinary life tests as catastrophic (i.e. "This person is driving me crazy." "This housework is killing me.")


On Rosh Hashanah it will be posted and on Yom Kippur it will be tweeted.

How many will unfriend and how many will send friend requests?
Who will follow and who will unfollow?
Who will like posts immediately and who will like posts weeks later because they have more important things going on in their lives?

Who will be annoyed by blocking and who by trolling?
Who by the angry face reaction and who by the sad teary face reaction?
Who by cyber-bullying and who by having their posts copy and pasted without credit?
Who by being added to groups without being asked and who by stupid and unhelpful comments?
Who by poking (who still pokes?!) and who by being tagged in spam posts about Ray-Ban sunglasses?

Who will post occasionally and who will post non-stop every day due to the mistaken belief people are interested?
Who will live in harmony and who will have non-stop arguments in Facebook groups?
Who will enjoy tranquility and who will suffer relentless requests to play Candy Crush?
Who will have their accounts cloned and who will have theirs verified?
Who will receive hundreds of likes and who will have to go and try Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat instead?

But reading, liking and sharing this post removes the evil of the decree!

Wishing you all happy new year (goyish), shana tova (Jewish), ksiva vchasima tova (frum) and a gut gebencht yohr (meshuga frum).


12 Signs You Grew Up Jewish in Chicago

manny's deli chicago

via Instagram/mannysdeli

Whether you were cool enough to live in the city proper or are from the suburbs (but still tell people you're from Chicago), if you grew up Jewish in the Windy City, you'll probably relate to some of the things below.

1. You're still mourning the passing of Best's Kosher Hot Dogs.

best's kosher hot dogs

Via Flickr/Jason Perlow

Best's Kosher were, well, the best. The cries of thousands of Jews could be heard all across Chicagoland when Sara Lee bought out the company in 2009 and discontinued the brand. Sure, the non-kosher keepers among us still have Vienna Beef, but nothing compares to Best's. Darn you, Sara Lee!

2. Your idea of heaven on earth is Once Upon a Bagel in Highland Park.

Or Max and Benny's in Northbrook. Or Kaufman's in Skokie. Or The Bagel at Old Orchard. Or Manny's downtown. You get the picture.

3. You owned one of the following fashionable items:

the north face fleece

Via Flickr/Four C's

North Face fleece. Birkenstock clogs. New Balance sneakers. One of those sparkly Michael Starr shirts. Kate Spade purse. Juicy Couture jumpsuit.

4. You went to camp in Wisconsin.

You spent all of football season hating on the Cheeseheads, but once summer rolled around, you were packing your duffel bags for Jewish overnight camp in Wisconsin–most likely somewhere near the Wisconsin Dells. Perhaps you almost got sent home when caught buying a cheeseburger at Noah's Ark on waterpark day. Ah, summer.

5. Lox Box was basically your Christmas morning.

It's bagels and lox in a box, and it shows up right at your door. That's the Jewish ideal.

6. From the ages of 12-13, you were invited to at least three bar or bat mitzvahs every single weekend.


The author's bat mitzvah AKA MollyPalooza

There were smoke machines. There were Dip N' Dots stations. There were ice sculptures. There were montages. Oh, were there montages. There were choreographed dances performed with the DJ's back-up dancers. There were terrifying rounds of Champagne Snowball. There were glow necklaces and blow-up guitars. There were giveaways of customized t-shirts and boxers and the inexplicably popular doctor's scrubs. At least one of them was Bull's themed. At least one of them was at Michael's. Pretty much all of them closed out with Dionne Warwick's "That's What Friends Are For."

7. When the time came, your mom took you to Schwartz's Intimate Apparel in Highland Park for your first bra.

Like her mother did before her.

8. Your grandparents (or your friend's grandparents) lived in Winston Towers in Rogers Park.

AKA Cabrini Greenberg.

9. Your parents are card-carrying members of Lettuce Entertain You's frequent diner club.

lettuce entertain you gift card

You may or may not have gone to the Passover seder at Joe's Stone Crab. Yes, it's ironic. Just go with it. And make sure to tell them to use double points.

10. You remember the Walk With Israel when it was a very long walk.

It was the most exercise you got since your days on the JCC basketball team.

11. You're used to snow on Passover.

And on the occasional Yom Kippur, too.

12. You didn't realize Jews are a minority until you went to college.

Unless you went to U of I and pledged ZBT or SDT. Then you still probably don't know.

Rosh Hashanah

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Rosh Hashanah
A shofar, symbol of the Rosh Hashanah holiday
Official name ראש השנה
Also called Jewish New Year
Observed by Jews
Type Jewish
Observances Prayingin synagogue, personal reflection, and hearing the shofar.
Begins Start of first day of Tishrei
Ends End of second day of Tishrei
2016 date sunset, October 02 –
nightfall, October 04
2017 date sunset, September 20 –
nightfall, September 22
2018 date sunset, September 09 –
nightfall, September 11
2019 date sunset, September 29 –
nightfall, October 01

Rosh Hashanah( Hebrew:רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה‎, literally meaning the "beginning (also head) [of] the year") is the Jewish New Year. The biblicalname for this holiday is Yom Teruah(יוֹם תְּרוּעָה‎), literally "day [of] shouting/blasting." It is the first of the Jewish High Holy Days(יָמִים נוֹרָאִיםYamim Nora'im, lit. "Days [of] Awe") specified by Leviticus 23:23–32, which usually occur in the early autumn of the Northern Hemisphere.

Rosh Hashanah is a two-day celebration, which begins on the first day of Tishrei. Tishrei is the first month of the Jewish civil year, but the seventh month of the ecclesiastical year.

According to Judaism, the fact that Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the year is explained by it being the traditional anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve, the first man and woman according to the Hebrew Bible, and their first actions toward the believed realization of humanity's role in God's world. According to one secular opinion its origin is in the beginning of the economic year in the ancient Near East, marking the start of the agricultural cycle. [1]

Rosh Hashanah customs include sounding the shofar(a hollowed-out ram's horn), as prescribed in the Torah, following the prescription of the Hebrew Bible to "raise a noise" on Yom Teruah; and among its rabbinical customs is attending synagogue services and reciting special liturgy about teshuva, as also enjoying festive meals. Eating symbolic foods such as apples dipped in honey is now a tradition, hoping thereby to evoke a "sweet new year".

Etymology[ edit]

"Rosh" is the Hebrew word for "head", "ha" is the definite article ("the"), and "shanah" means year. Thus "Rosh HaShanah" means 'head [of] the year', referring to the Jewish day of new year.

The term "Rosh Hashanah" in its current meaning does not appear in the Torah. Leviticus 23:24refers to the festival of the first day of the seventh month as " Zikhron Teru'ah" ("[a] memorial [with the] blowing [of horns]"); it is also referred to in the same part of Leviticus as 'שַׁבַּת שַׁבָּתוֹן‎' ( shabbat shabbaton) or penultimate Sabbath or meditative rest day, and a "holy day to God". These same words are commonly used in the Psalms to refer to the anointed days. Numbers 29:1calls the festival Yom Teru'ah, ("Day [of] blowing [the horn]"), and symbolizes a number of subjects, such as the Binding of Isaacwhereby a ram was sacrificed instead of Isaac, and the animal sacrifices, including rams, that were to be performed. [2] [3](The term Rosh Hashanah appears once in the Bible in Ezekiel 40:1where it means generally the time of the "beginning of the year" or is possibly a reference to Yom Kippur, [2]but the phrase may also refer to the Hebrew month of Nisanin the spring, especially in light of Exodus 12:2, Exodus 13:3–4where the spring month of Aviv, later renamed Nisan, is stated as being "the first month of the year" and Ezekiel 45:18where "the first month" unambiguously refers to Nisan, [4] [5]the month of Passover, as made plain by Ezekiel 45:21. [6])

In the Siddurand MachzorJewish prayer-books Rosh Hashanah is also called "Yom Hazikaron" ([a] day [of] the remembrance), not to be confused with the modern Israeli holidayof the same name which falls in spring.

The Hebrew Rosh HaShanah is etymologically related to the Arabic Ras as-Sanah, the name chosen by Muslim lawmakers for the Islamic New Year.

Rosh Hashanah marks the start of a new year in the Hebrew calendar (one of four "new year" observances that define various legal "years" for different purposes as explained in the Mishnah and Talmud). It is the new year for people, animals, and legal contracts. The Mishnahalso sets this day aside as the new year for calculating calendar years, shmitaand yovelyears. Jewsare confident that Rosh Hashanah represents either figuratively or literally God's creation ex nihilo. However, according to Rabbi Eleazar ben Shammua, Rosh Hashanah commemorates the creation of man. [7]

Origins[ edit]

The earliest origins of the Hebrew New Year are connected to the beginning of the economic year in the agricultural societies of the ancient Near East. [1]The New Year was the beginning of the cycle of sowing, growth, and harvest, the latter marked by its own set of major agricultural festivals. [1]The Semites in general set the beginning of the new year in autumn, while other ancient civilizations such as the Persiansor Greekschose spring for that purpose, in both cases the primary reason being agricultural – the time of sowing the seed and of bringing in the harvest. [1]

In Jewish law, four major New Years are observed, each one marking a beginning of sorts; the lunar month Nisan(usually corresponding to the months March–April in the Gregorian calendar) being when a new year is added to the reign of Jewish kings, as also the month marking the start of the year for the three Jewish pilgrimages. [8]Its injunction is expressly stated in the Hebrew Bible: "This month shall be unto you the beginningof months"(Exo. 12:2). However, the start of the calendric year, that is to say, when reckoning ordinary years, Sabbatical years, Jubileesand dates inscribed on legal deeds and contracts, the commencement of such years begins on the first day of the lunar month Tishri(usually corresponding to the months September–October in the Gregorian calendar), and whose injunction is expressly stated in the Hebrew Bible: "Three times in the year you shall keep a feast unto me... the feast of unleavened bread ( Passover)... the feast of harvest ( Shavuot)... and the feast of ingathering ( Sukkot) which is at the departing of the year"(Exo. 23:14–16). By saying, "at the departing of the year," it is implied that the year's beginning also starts there. [9]

The reckoning of Tishri as the beginning of the Jewish year began with the early Egyptiansand was preserved by the Hebrew nation, [10]being also alluded to in the Hebrew Bible(Genesis 7:11)when describing the Great Delugeat the time of Noah, and which was said to have begun during the "second month" ( Marheshvan), counting from Tishri, a view that has largely been accepted by the Sages of Israel. [11]

Religious significance[ edit]

The Mishnahcontains the second known reference to Rosh Hashanah as the "day of judgment". [12]In the Talmud tractate on Rosh Hashanah, it states that three books of account are opened on Rosh Hashanah, wherein the fate of the wicked, the righteous, and those of an intermediate class are recorded. The names of the righteous are immediately inscribed in the book of lifeand they are sealed "to live." The intermediate class are allowed a respite of ten days, until Yom Kippur, to reflect, repent and become righteous; [13]the wicked are "blotted out of the book of the living forever." [14]

In Jewish liturgy, Rosh Hashanah leads to Yom Kippur, which is described as "the day of judgment" ( Yom ha-Din) and "the day of remembrance" ( Yom ha-Zikkaron). Some midrashicdescriptions depict Godas sitting upon a throne, while books containing the deeds of all humanity are opened for review, and each person passes in front of Him for evaluation of his or her deeds. The Talmud provides three central ideas behind the day:

"The Holy One said, 'on Rosh Hashanah recite before Me [verses of] Sovereignty, Remembrance, and Shofar blasts ( malchuyot, zichronot, shofrot): Sovereignty so that you should make Me your King; Remembrance so that your remembrance should rise up before Me. And through what? Through the Shofar.' (Rosh Hashanah 16a, 34b)" [15]This is reflected in the prayers composed by the classical rabbinic sages for Rosh Hashanah found in all machzorimwhere the theme of the prayers is the strongest theme is the "coronation" of God as King of the universe in preparation for the acceptance of judgments that will follow on that day, symbolized as "written" into a Divine book of judgments, that then hang in the balance for ten days waiting for all to repent, then they will be "sealed" on Yom Kippur. The assumption is that everyone was sealed for life and therefore the next festival is Sukkot(Tabernacles) that is referred to as "the time of our joy" ( z'man simchateinu).

Customs[ edit]

The Yamim Nora'imare preceded by the month of Elul, during which Jews are supposed to begin a self-examination and repentance, a process that culminates in the ten days of the Yamim Nora'imknown as beginning with Rosh Hashanah and ending with the holiday of Yom Kippur.

The shofaris traditionally blown each morning for the entire month of Elul, the month preceding Rosh Hashanah. The sound of the shofaris intended to awaken the listeners from their "slumbers" and alert them to the coming judgment. [16]The shofar is not blown on Shabbat. [17]

In the period leading up to the Yamim Nora'im( Hebrew, "days of awe"), penitential prayers, called selichot, are recited.

Rosh Hashanah is also the day of "Yom Hadin", known as Judgment day. On Yom Hadin, 3 books are opened, the book of life, for the righteous among the nations, the book of death, for the most evil who receive the seal of death, and the third book for the ones living in doubts with non-evil sins. The final judgment is not done from Yom Hadin before the start of Yom Kippur, it is sometimes possible to receive the seal of life by asking for forgiveness.

Karaite Judaism[ edit]

Unlike the denominations of Rabbinical Judaism, Karaite Judaismbelieves the Jewish New Year starts with the 1st month and celebrate this holiday only as it is mentioned in the Torah, that is as a day of rejoicing and shouting. [18]Additionally, Karaites believe the adoption of "Rosh Hashanah" in place of Yom Teruah "is the result of pagan Babylonian influence upon the Jewish nation. [18]The first stage in the transformation was the adoption of the Babylonian month names. In the Torah the months are numbered as First Month, Second Month, Third Month, etc (Leviticus 23; Numbers 28). During their sojourn in Babylonia our ancestors began to use the pagan Babylonian month names, a fact readily admitted in the Talmud. [18]As the Jewish People became more comfortable with the Babylonian month names they became more susceptible to other Babylonian influences." [18]"Karaites allow no work on the day except what is needed to prepare food (Leviticus 23:23, 24)." [19]

Samaritanism[ edit]

Samaritans, in their strict interpretation of the Torah, preserve the biblical name of the festival celebrated on the first day of the seventh month ( Tishrei), namely Yom Teruah, and in accordance with the Torah do not consider it to be a New Year's day.

Shofar blowing[ edit]

Shofar blowing for Rosh Hashana, Ashkenaz version

Laws on the form and use of the shofarand laws related to the religious services during the festival of Rosh Hashanah are described in Rabbinic literaturesuch as the Mishnahthat formed the basis of the tractate "Rosh HaShanah"in both the Babylonian Talmudand the Jerusalem Talmud. This also contains the most important rules concerning the calendar year. [20]

The shofar is blown in long, short, and staccato blasts that follow a set sequence:

  • Teki'ah(long sound) Numbers 10:3;
  • Shevarim(3 broken sounds) Numbers 10:5;
  • Teru'ah(9 short sounds) Numbers 10:9;
  • Teki'ah Gedolah(very long sound) Exodus 19:16,19;
  • Shevarim Teru'ah(3 broken sounds followed by 9 short sounds).

The shofar is blown at various instances during the Rosh Hashanah prayers, and the total number of blasts over the day is 100.

Rosh Hashanah eve[ edit]

The evening before Rosh Hashanah day is known as Erev Rosh Hashanah("Rosh Hashanah eve"). As with Rosh Hashanah day, it falls on the 1st day of the Hebrew month of Tishrei, since days of the Hebrew calendar begin at sundown. Some communities perform Hatarat nedarim(a nullification of vows) after the morning prayer services during the morning on the 29th of the Hebrew month of Elul, which ends at sundown, when Erev Rosh Hashanah commences. The mood becomes festive but serious in anticipation of the new year and the synagogue services. Many Orthodox men immerse in a mikvehin honor of the coming day.

Duration and timing[ edit]

Rosh Hashanah occurs 163 days after the first day of Passover( Pesach). In terms of the Gregorian calendar, the earliest date on which Rosh Hashanah can fall is September 5, as happened in 1899 and again in 2013. The latest Gregorian date that Rosh Hashanah can occur is October 5, as happened in 1967 and will happen again in 2043. After 2089, the differences between the Hebrew calendar and the Gregorian calendar will result in Rosh Hashanah falling no earlier than September 6. [21]

Although the Jewish calendar is based on the lunar cycle, so that the first day of each month originally began with the first sighting of a new moon, since the fourth century it has been arranged so that Rosh Hashanah never falls on a Sunday, Wednesday, or Friday. [22] [22]

The Torah defines Rosh Hashanah as a one-day celebration, and since days in the Hebrew calendar begin at sundown, the beginning of Rosh Hashanah is at sundown at the end of 29 Elul. The rules of the Hebrew calendar are designed such that the first day of Rosh Hashanah will never occur on the first, fourth, or sixth day of the Jewish week [23](i.e., Sunday, Wednesday, or Friday). Since the time of the destruction of the Second Temple of Jerusalemin 70 CE and the time of Rabban Yohanan ben Zakkai, normativeJewish law appears to be that Rosh Hashanah is to be celebrated for two days, because of the difficulty of determining the date of the new moon. [2]Nonetheless, there is some evidence that Rosh Hashanah was celebrated on a single day in Israel as late as the thirteenth century CE. [24] Orthodoxand Conservative Judaismnow generally observe Rosh Hashanah for the first two days of Tishrei, even in Israelwhere all other Jewish holidays dated from the new moon last only one day. The two days of Rosh Hashanah are said to constitute " Yoma Arichtah" (Aramaic: " onelong day"). In Reform Judaism, some communities observe only the first day of Rosh Hashanah, while others observe two days. Karaite Jews, who do not recognize Rabbinic Jewish oral lawand rely on their own understanding of the Torah, observe only one day on the first of Tishrei, since the second day is not mentioned in the Written Torah.

Prayer service[ edit]

On Rosh Hashanah day, religious poems, called piyyuttim, are added to the regular services. A special prayer book, the mahzor, is used on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (plural mahzorim). A number of additions are made to the regular service, most notably an extended repetition of the Amidahprayer for both Shacharitand Mussaf. The Shofar is blown during Mussaf at several intervals. (In many synagogues, even little children come and hear the Shofar being blown.) Biblical verses are recited at each point. According to the Mishnah, 10 verses (each) are said regarding kingship, remembrance, and the shofar itself, each accompanied by the blowing of the shofar. A variety of piyyutim, medieval penitential prayers, are recited regarding themes of repentance. The Alenuprayer is recited during the repetition of the Mussaf Amidah.

Symbolic foods[ edit]

Rosh Hashanah meals usually include applesdipped in honeyto symbolize a sweet new year. Other foods with a symbolic meaning may be served, depending on local minhag("custom"), such as the head of a fish (to symbolize the prayer "let us be the head and not the tail").

Many communities hold a "Rosh Hashanah seder" during which blessings are recited over a variety of symbolic dishes. [25] [26] [27]The blessings have the incipit" Yehi ratzon", meaning "May it be Thy will." In many cases, the name of the food in Hebrew or Aramaic represents a play on words (a pun). The Yehi Ratzon platter may include apples (dipped in honey, baked or cooked as a compote called mansanada); dates; pomegranates; black-eyed peas; pumpkin-filled pastries called rodanchas; leek fritters called keftedes de prasa; beets; and a whole fish with the head intact. It is also common to eat stuffed vegetables called legumbres yaprakes. [28]

Some of the symbolic foods eaten are dates, black-eyed peas, leek, spinachand gourd, all of which are mentioned in the Talmud: [29]"Let a man be accustomed to eat on New Year's Day gourds (קרא), and fenugreek (רוביא), [30]leeks (כרתי), beet [leaves] (סילקא), and dates (תמרי)." Pomegranatesare used in many traditions, to symbolize being fruitful like the pomegranate with its many seeds. [31]The use of apples dipped in honey, symbolizing a sweet year, is a late medieval Ashkenaziaddition, though it is now almost universally accepted. Typically, round challahbread is served, to symbolize the cycle of the year. [31]From ancient to quite modern age, lamb head or fish head were served. Nowadays, gefilte fishand Lekachare commonly served by Ashkenazic Jews on this holiday. On the second night, new fruits are served to warrant inclusion of the shehecheyanublessing.

The One Thing No One Ever Says About Grieving

(And a 4 step plan to move through your grief.)


Another way to say that you are grieving is that a part of you is stuck in a moment in time.

Sometimes the cause of the stuckness isn't the grief itself, but the fact that you don't even recognizethat you've lost something and that you need to grieve.

Grief is a word that is used interchangeably with bereavement, but grief is not exclusively about the physical death of a person.

Grief doesn't fit in a box, either. Some forms of grief take years to work through, other types take a few solid months, some take a single moment of deep acknowledgement.

Everyone grieves differently and for different reasons, but one thing remains constant in the process. It's the one thing no one has ever said about grieving:

"I did it right on time."

Grieving is marked by a lag, a delay, a freezing, "Wait. What just happened?"

Grieving is also not a linear process.

One moment you feel you've fully moved past something, the next moment it's right back in front of your face.

That's because grief is insidious, imposing and demands to be felt. Even if you're able to somehow avoid it all day long, grief comes back to you in your sleep. It's laying right on your heart as you wake up.

Grief doesn't say, "I've been here long enough, I think it's time for me to leave."

No. Grief crowds the heart, eats up all your energy and chronically imposes upon your peace. But grief isn't some evil force that's only there to cause pain, grief is escorting up an even deeper feeling, a truth about your life, what you value and what you need. Perhaps how much you wanted something, how deeply you care about someone, how far you've come from where you were.

As Mark Nepo so beautifully puts it, "The pain was necessary to know the truth, but we don't have to keep the pain alive to keep the truth alive."

Still, grief isn't necessarily a depression.People can be grieving and heartbroken about something and not even know it.

Here are some examples of events that cause grieving:

• A break up

• The selling of your childhood home

• What you always wanted but never got

A person who died

A person who is still alive but is electively absent in your life

The loss of a dream



Loving someone who is self-destructive

The loss of a pet

The end of a friendship

Job loss or the end of a career

The typical route for grieving begins with denial, and that's actually a goodthing.

Ultimately, your defense mechanisms are there to protect you. Denial kicks in when it would otherwise be too overwhelming to feel it all at once. Ideally, denial slowly fades away and the grief is felt. (Ideally.)

More typically, you swallow your grief.

It comes up in small spurts when you're not paying attention, then you numb yourself to it somehow, then it jumps up more forcefully, then you numb yourself more heavily.

That is the path of staying stuck in grief. The path loops. People lose themselves on that path.

Is there a better path?

The answer is yes. But you don't have to walk it unless you choose to.

Some losses are so exquisitely painful, in a way that no one else could ever fully understand, that no one would fault you for staying in the loop.

If you do choose to get out of the disorienting, dizzying loop of grief, here are 4 ways to begin:

1. UNDERSTAND- That your heart is broken, even if it's not visible to others.

Keep in mind that there's no 'right way' to grieve and that grieving is not a linear process.

Just because its been 6 months, 4 years, 15 years, whatever – none of that means anything to your grief. The clock starts when you begin to recognize your grief. In other words, when you genuinely begin to address what happened (or perhaps what never happened).

2. RECOGNIZE- Before you can grieve, you have to recognize that you need to grieve.

Something happened, or didn't happen, that burdened you.

Ironically, when you're burdened, something is given to you and taken away from you at the same time. What do you feel was taken from you? What do you feel you are burdened with? The answers to those questions help you recognize what you need to grieve.

3. TOUCH- You have to touch the loss (as well as all the anger, sadness, bitterness, resilience, compassion and any other feelings you encountered during your loss).

You're in touch with your grief when you make space for the feelings your loss brought into your life. It may feel counter-intuitive to go back to the feelings that you want so desperately to let go of, but there's simply no way to move through grief without making contact with it, without fully touching it, without fully feeling it.

You have to pick it up, hold it, feel the weight of it in your hands, on your heart and within your life. You have to feel the whole loss. Grief demands to be felt with an insistence that needs no sleep. You either allow yourself to encounter the feelings or you remain encased in a shell of yourself under a misguided sense of self-protection.

4. MOVE- The feeling of grief can linger for so long that you almost befriend the grief.

The grief becomes oddly soothing in its familiarity and its predictability. Dealing with the grief means letting go of this familiarity and moving towards something less predictable and less familiar, which is scary.

Still, if you want to genuinely address the grief, you have to continue to move through the peripheral, familiar parts of your grief and go right into the epicenter of your grief. As the classic hero's journey goes, you have to get inside the belly of the whale.There (and only there) you will find the door to the unpredictable pieces of life that are patiently waiting for you on the other side of your pain.


Understandyour heart is broken.

Recognizewhy it's broken.

Touchthe grief.

Movetowards the epicenter of your grief, as it's the only path to other side of your pain.

Please remember, the grief you're experiencing is yours, and you can carry it with you for as long as you like. Let go of it only when you feel ready-enough, and if you never feel ready, that's okay. If you do feel ready to move through it, recruit professional support here, or here, or here. Navigating through grief is unpredictable, dangerous terrain. You don't have to do it alone.

Katherine Schafleris an NYC-based psychotherapist, speaker and writer. For more of her work, join her newsletter community, read her blog, or follow her on Instagram.

1*tyufxe 6mwutbdckyn2glg

Katherine Schafler, NYC-based psychotherapist, writer and speaker.

2 Penniless Brothers Are Living In A Cave. Then They Discover That Their Dead Grandmother Left Them Billions

German brother Zsolt and Geza Peladi had been struggling financially for a very long time. They managed to survive by selling junk they found on the street.

But one day, everything changed. The brothers were told that they would be getting a share of their long-lost grandmother's fortune. They would receive up to £4 billion in inheritance.


According to Geza, things had always been strained in their family. He explained

"We knew our mother came from a wealthy family but she was a difficult person and severed ties with them, and then later abandoned us and we lost touch with her and our father until she eventually died."

The brothers are looking forward to sorting out all the necessary requirements so they will be able to collect their inheritance. They are already anticipating living a better life and maybe even settling down.

" No women would look at us living in a cave," said Geza.

According to German law, direct descendants automatically get a share of an estate of a deceased person. Since their grandmother's only daughter was dead, the money would go to the grandchildren.

Geza wondered if their mother ever told the grandmother about the brothers. Evidently, lawyers only found out the boys existed after they did a genealogical research.

See you next year (after the holiday of Rosh Hashanah and Shabbat. Love Yehdua Lave
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