Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Marital Crises during the COVID-19 Pandemic and 1 in 7 Israelis fear losing homes as pandemic takes an economic toll and Israel's Plans To Bring Cable Car, Fast Train To Old City Jerusalem Threaten To Derail and death in itself is not tragic, it is what you do when you are here

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Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor

Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher, and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money,  and spiritual engagement. Now also a Blogger on the Times of Israel. Look for my column

Love Yehuda Lave

Death in itself is not tragic for every individual must die sooner or later

Death in itself is not tragic for every individual must die sooner or later


The only relevant question is to what extent the individual when alive participates in eternity.

Lays of Ancient Rome is a collection of narrative poems, or lays, by Thomas Babington Macaulay. Four of these recount heroic episodes from early Roman history with strong dramatic and tragic themes, giving the collection its name. Macaulay also included two poems inspired by recent history: Ivry (1824) and The Armada (1832)


The first poem, Horatius, describes how Publius Horatius and two companions, Spurius Lartius and Titus Herminius, hold the Sublician bridge, the only span crossing the Tiber at Rome, against the Etruscan army of Lars Porsena, King of Clusium. The three heroes are willing to die in order to prevent the enemy from crossing the bridge, and sacking the otherwise ill-defended city. While the trio close with the front ranks of the Etruscans, Roman engineers hurriedly work to demolish the bridge, leaving their enemies on the far side of the swollen river.

This poem contains the often-quoted lines:

Then out spake brave Horatius,

The Captain of the Gate:

"To every man upon this earth

Death cometh soon or late.

And how can man die better

Than facing fearful odds,

For the ashes of his fathers,

And the temples of his Gods."

Haul down the bridge, Sir Consul,

With all the speed ye may;

I, with two more to help me,

Will hold the foe in play.

In yon strait path a thousand

May well be stopped by three.

Now, who will stand on either hand,

And keep the bridge with me?

As the span becomes unstable, Horatius urges Lartius and Herminius to retreat, while he fights on alone. His companions regain the Roman side before the bridge begins to collapse, but Horatius can no longer cross to safety, and therefore leaps into the river, still fully armored. Macaulay writes,

No sound of joy or sorrow

Was heard from either bank;

But friends and foes in dumb surprise,

With parted lips and straining eyes,

Stood gazing where he sank:

And when above the surges

They saw his crest appear,

All Rome sent forth a rapturous cry,

And even the ranks of Tuscany

Could scarce forbear to cheer.

He reaches the Roman shore, is richly rewarded, and gains mythic status by his act of bravery:

With weeping and with laughter

Still is the story told,

How well Horatius kept the bridge

In the brave days of old.


When we look to the world with an aspect of Judaism, we say that that the only relevant question is to what extent the individual when alive participates in Jewish eternity. We just finished Shuvout where we read the book of Ruth. Naomi and Ruth bring forth the baby from Boaz that becomes the predecessor of King David.

Jewish history is what counts from an aspect of the Torah. And for this reason, the Torah was given on Mount Sinai- a desert- because if the Torah had been given on Mount Moriah in Jerusalem, it might have been thought that the non-Jews have no place in the Torah. Rav Shimon ben Elazar maintains in the future (the days of the Messiah) "everyone will return to the true religion" Let us learn from the Jewish ways, let us walk in the Jewish paths, for from Zion will go forth Torah and the word of G-d from Jerusalem to the entire world.

Marital Crises during the COVID-19 Pandemic by Sara Genstil

According to the media, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many marriages have broken down and the divorce rate has escalated.  The question is, "What accounts for the change from a psychological point of view?"

What we need to recognize is that the pandemic is a severe crisis on multiple levels.  At once, there was a threat to our lives and our very existence.  We lost our freedom, we lost our basic need to be with people and even with the loved ones in our lives.  We were suddenly locked in our houses and out of our jobs and daily routines. Economically many people were in crisis due to losing their jobs or the threat of losing them.  At once, our entire lives entered a stage of shock.  Everything that was once normal became abnormal.

As a consequence, the brain automatically adapts to a life which is in crisis and signals that we are in survival mode.  Unconsciously, the brain applies defense mechanisms to protect our existence.  It is important to recognize that every person applies different defenses based on his or her psychological and physiological structure and life history.  The outcome is that the person, due to feeling endangered, does not behave in the way they normally do. They are more vulnerable and more focused on their own needs. They are in survival mode and mentally, emotionally and possibly physically in disequilibrium.

A marriage in crisis can stem from this vulnerable situation. Each person has their own unconscious, and unique and specific defense mechanisms. In crises like these it is possible that each individual is not responsive to the other and they are disconnected emotionally from the needs of one other.  A sense of loneliness, loss, abandonment, anger, confusion as to what's wrong with each other, constant misunderstandings and doubts about the marriage in general, all are a direct outcome of this painful experience. Each spouse is stuck in their own subjective experience, without the ability to step back, see, understand and learn the other's subjectivity and they are very often not capable emotionally to do so.  At times both fall into and are stuck in a cycle where they are not able to empathize, listen, be responsive and to support one another.

The key to unlock this cycle is to recognize that a relationship is a system – in this case a chaotic system that is created by both parties and to recognize that this is an outcome of the input of each spouse. Each brings his/her own subjective perceptions and has no awareness of the other. In this process there is no sensitivity or empathy to each other's suffering and why they are behaving the way they are.

To heal the relationship one has to recognize his/her own part by asking "What did I do to affect the system that it became so chaotic?" "Which kind of emotions did I bring to the foreground that affected the system?" "What can I do to fix it?" and "What can I change in me to make it better?" Not in order to blame each other but to look at oneself in the context of the whole. Furthermore, it is important to recognize that if one part of the system goes through change it affects the whole system. In this case, if one spouse brings to the foreground positive emotions and more responsiveness, it affects the whole relationship.

It is important to recognize there is potential to know aspects of each other in a different and new way. The Corona crisis is horrifying but it has the potential for possible growth at levels that might never have happened otherwise.

The Uniqueness of the Word Breishit

As we reach the culmination of our Omer count and end our
preparations in anticipation of this special chag, we now have the
privilege to receive the Torah once again.
Our Torah starts with the word "Breishit" and there is something so
very special about this first word.
The Hebrew language has five types of consonant groups.
Consonants that are articulated by the lips: פ, מ, ו, ב
Consonants that are articulated in the pharynx and throat: ע, ר, ח, א, ה
Consonants that are articulated with the teeth: ש, ש, ׁצ, ס, ז
Consonants that are articulated in the upper palate: ק, כ, י, ג
Consonants that are articulated with the tongue: ר, ת, נ, ל, ט, ד
בראשית ,the first word in our Torah, is unique and rare, since it is
"representative" of all five groups.
praise we that meaning כָל עַּ צְ מוֹּתַּ י תֹּאמַּ רְ נָה ה' מִ י כָמוָֹּך say we as Just
Hashem with our whole body, so, too, we should be zochim to learn
Torah using all articulations of the Hebrew holy language.

lem Life | 1 in 7 Israelis fear losing homes as pandemic takes economic toll

As result of the coronavirus epidemic, 1 in 7 Israelis (14.1%) are afraid they will lose their home and almost half (46.5%) are worried they will not be able to pay their monthly expenses, the Central Bureau of Statistics said Tuesday.
The Situation Report of Civil Resilience during the Coronavirus Crisis, conducted by the CBS between May 11-14, shows that nearly 14.1% of Israelis, 789,300 people, reported that they or at least one family member has reduced their food intake or the number of weekly meals due to financial fears.
Full Story (Ynet)

Peace is its own reward. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was the pre-eminent political and ideological leader of India during the Indian independence movement.    Achievement brings its own anticlimax. Maya Angelou, author and poet.    This above all; to thine own self be true. William Shakespeare, poet and playwright,    How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them. Ben Franklin was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States.    We must be our own before we can be another's. Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist, lecturer, and poet.
Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility. Oprah Winfrey is an American media proprietor, businesswoman, talk show host, actress, producer, and philanthropist.    I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way. Robert Lee Frost, poet.
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. Leonardo da Vinci Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci was an Italian Renaissance polymath: painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, botanist and writer.   Each day provides its own gifts. Marcus was Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 CE.   If you must tell me your opinions, tell me what you believe in. I have plenty of doubts of my own. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was a German writer, pictorial artist, biologist, theoretical physicist, and polymath. He is considered the supreme genius of modern German literature.   Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. Anne Frank  All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy was a Russian writer who primarily wrote novels and short stories. Many consider Tolstoy to have been one of the world's greatest novelists.
No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. William Blake was an English poet, painter, and printmaker.   One man's ways may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best. Jane Austen, novelist. I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. Margaret Hilda Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher is a former Conservative Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.   Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again. Vincent Willem van Gogh was a Dutch post-Impressionist painter whose work, notable for its rough beauty, emotional honesty, and bold color, had a far-reaching influence on 20th-century art.
Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time. Rabindranath Tagore Rabindranath Tagorewas a Bengali polymath who reshaped his region's literature and he became the first non-European Nobel laureate by earning the 1913 Prize in Literature..   Control your own destiny or someone else will. Jack Welch
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. Aldous Leonard Huxley, writer .
I remember when I chose acting I thought, 'This is it -- for the time being.' I didn't think I was finished yet. I still don't. I keep thinking about what I should be doing. Roscoe Lee Browne {My favorite actor} Roscoe Lee Browne, actor and director, known for his rich voice and dignified bearing..

Israel's Plans To Bring Cable Car, Fast Train To Old City Jerusalem Threaten To Derail

 Imagine being able to exit Israel's Ben-Gurion International Airport, hop on a fast train to Jerusalem and within about 45 minutes, stand at the Western Wall in Jerusalem's Old City. That day could come soon, but first Jerusalem officials need to clear a few hurdles.
Former Israeli Transportation Minister Yisrael Katz announced in 2017 that he intended to extend Israel's new fast-rail line, which currently only reaches the entrance to Jerusalem, to Jerusalem's Old City, and to name the new station after U.S. President Donald Trump in honor of his having recognized Israel's sovereignty over Jerusalem.
Full Story (Vos Iz Neias)

Andy Warhol

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol

In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Andy Warhol

t would be very glamorous to be reincarnated as a great big ring on Liz Taylor's finger. Andy Warhol

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships. Andy Warhol

I am a deeply superficial person. Andy Warhol

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Andy Warhol

I just happen to like ordinary things. When I paint them, I don't try to make them extraordinary. I just try to paint them ordinary-ordinary. Andy Warhol

See you tomorrow bli neder, death being tragic or not We need Mosiach now

Love Yehuda Lave

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

PO Box 7335, Rehavia Jerusalem 9107202


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