Seeing results: Ben-Gvir ‘huge deterrent’ against Arab violence, say Israeli police and Oddities, Anomalies And Assorted Amusements By Saul Jay Singer and Rabbi Schwartz jokes and Quotes from the Long hot summer with Paul Newman and Is Northern Norway accessible from Oslo by road?
Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher, and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money, and spiritual engagement.
The Three are Rabbi Yehuda Glick, famous temple mount activist, and former Israel Mk, and then Robert Weinger, the world's greatest shofar blower and seller of Shofars, and myself after we had gone to the 12 gates of the Temple Mount in 2020 to blow the shofar to ask G-d to heal the world from the Pandemic. It was a highlight to my experience in living in Israel and I put it on my blog each day to remember.
The articles that I include each day are those that I find interesting, so I feel you will find them interesting as well. I don't always agree with all the points of each article but found them interesting or important to share with you, my readers, and friends. It is cathartic for me to share my thoughts and frustrations with you about life in general and in Israel. As a Rabbi, I try to teach and share the Torah of the G-d of Israel as a modern Orthodox Rabbi. I never intend to offend anyone but sometimes people are offended and I apologize in advance for any mistakes. The most important psychological principle I have learned is that once someone's mind is made up, they don't want to be bothered with the facts, so, like Rabbi Akiva, I drip water (Torah is compared to water) on their made-up minds and hope that some of what I have share sinks in. Love Rabbi Yehuda Lave.
Oddities, Anomalies And Assorted Amusements By Saul Jay Singer
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE SLEEP (LESS) JOKES OF THE WEEK
Chaim, an Israeli government worker went to the doctor and complained of being unable to sleep.
Doctor: 'Oh! Don't you sleep well at night?'
Chaim: 'Yes, I sleep very well at night. And I sleep quite soundly most of the mornings, too - but I find it's very difficult to sleep in the afternoons as well.'
Two siblings, Sarah was talking to her brother Bobby and asked how come it was that grandma didn't have any teeth. Bobby in a very knowing voice explained that Grandma had gone to sleep one night with her head underneath her pillow, and what do you know? The Tooth Fairy came and took all her teeth.
Yankel came to the doctor and told him that he was having trouble sleeping and he assumed that it was because he had High blood pressure problem in his family.
The physician doctor asked him from which side in his family it was from your mother's side or your father's?
"Neither," Yankel replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
I have a sleeping disorder…it's called children
What happens if you sleep on your smartphone? You download a nap.
When is the perfect time for the cattle to go to sleep? Pasture bedtime.
How will you prove that you are not a light sleeper? Go sleep in the dark.
People with insomnia are pretty cool, They're up for anything
The doctor told me I have either amnesia or insomnia, I can't remember which one and it's making me lose sleep!
How does the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia spend his time? Staying up all night wondering if there is a dog
I have been trying to understand why my candle has such bad insomnia......guess there is no rest for the wicked.
I had to break up with my girlfriend who suffered from insomnia She just wasn't very into-resting
My horse has insomnia and keeps every one awake. She's a nightmare
Do you know why bicycles can't stand on their own? Because they are tired.
"Doctor, I tell you, the therapy you gave me for my insomnia was too hard"
"What? I just recommended warm milk, honey and a hot bath before going to sleep. What's so hard about that?!"
"Well, milk and honey was easy, but the hot bath... I was never able to drink it all... "
"Listen to me, Mr. Levy," said the doctor. "If you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you will have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you."
"I know, but I can't," said Herb Levy. "My wife refuses to sleep alone."
Why does the man eat yeast and shoe polish before he goes to sleep? So that he can rise and shine.
Why did the man run around his bed? He wanted to catch up on his sleep!
Do you know at what time tennis players go to sleep? At ten-nish.
What do sheep count when they can't sleep? People.
What happens when you dream that you wrote 'The Lord Of The Rings?' You start Tolkien in your sleep.
Finally a real quote from President Ronald Reagan I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I only know one reason for living quiet, that is you are too old to live any other way, opening scene from Long Hot Summer
Never Say Never
Clara: Mr. Quick, I am a human being. Do you know what that means? It means I set a price on myself: a high, high price. You may be surprised to know it, but I've got quite a lot to give. I've got things I've been saving up my whole life. Things like love and understanding and-and jokes and good times and good cooking. I'm prepared to be the Queen of Sheba for some lucky man, or at the very least the best wife that any man could hope for. Now, that's my human history and it's not going to be bought and sold and it's certainly not gonna be given away to any passin' stranger.
Ben: All right then, run, lady, and you keep on running. Buy yourself a bus ticket and disappear. Change your name, dye your hair, get lost - and then maybe, just maybe, you're gonna be safe from me.
Ben: Get out of character, lady. Come on, get way out.
Will Varner: I got influence. I'll dog you, boy, wherever you go. I'll break you.
Ben: Put them things down, Miss Clara, 'cause I'm gonna kiss you. I'm gonna show you how simple it is. You please me, and I'll please you.
[Attempts to kiss Clara, but she slaps him across the face]
Ben: [chuckles] Oh, I know what's troublin' you. It's all those boys hollerin' for Eula every night. And Eula with her hair hangin' down and Jody with his shirt off chasin' her. And your old man at 60 and he's callin' on his lady love.
[Bends down to kiss Clara, and she makes no resistance]
Ben Quick: What happens if a federal man comes by?
1st Resident: Oh, they've been known to come by. Also been known to disappear.
2nd Resident: Well, not entirely.
1st Resident: No, not entirely. The missing man's shoes might show up, or his hat; maybe even his suspenders. Of course, somebody else is wearing them.
Ben: I respect him. I admire his manners and I admire the speeches he makes and I admire the big house he lives in. But if you're saving it all for him honey, you've got your account in the wrong bank.
Ben: Life's very long and full of salesmanship, Miss Clara. You might buy something yet.
Clara: Well don't throw in the towel yet, Agnes, dear. Those tranquilizers may see us through yet.
Will Varner: Thousands of acres out there. Millions of seeds put down in the ground, and every year the seeds come up again. Life goes on. Where's my crop, huh? What follows me? What happens when I'm dead?
Clara: You'll probably have the biggest funeral in the state of Mississippi.
Will Varner: That don't scare me none, just so long as there are plenty of Varners to mourn me.
Ben: 'Cause I got a reputation for being a dangerous man.
Will Varner: You're a young dangerous man. I'm an old one. I guess you don't know who I am. I better introduce myself. I'm the big landowner, chief moneylender in these parts. I'm commissioner of elections, veterinarian, own a store and a cotton gin and a grist mill and a blacksmith shop... and it's considered unlucky for a man to do his trading or gin his cotton or grind his meal or shoe his stock anywhere else. Now that's who I am.
Will Varner: Well, yes I do, sir. I'm done talking to you, except for passing you on this piece of information. I built me a new jail in my courthouse this year, and if during the course of your stay, something, anything at all should just happen to catch fire, I think you ought to know that in my jail, we never heard of the words habeas corpus. You rot.
Will Varner: They don't have to see her. They can smell her.
Will Varner: Listen, I'm gonna get me some man in the Varner family, some good strong strappin' man Varners. That's what I want, Varners and more Varners. Yeah, more Varners still. Enough Varners to infest the countryside. I'm gonna see that happen, sister, before I die. I'm gonna accomplish that, yes ma'am, by means of that Quick, that big stud horse.
Will Varner: Can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you sure can teach a young willing puppy just about anything.
Will Varner: Give him time. A penny on the waters pays interest when the flood turns.
Ben: I can see my white shirt and my black tie and my Sunday manners didn't fool you for a minute. Well, that's right, ma'am, I'm a menace to the countryside. All a man's gotta do is just look at me sideways and his house goes up in fire. And here I am, living right here in the middle of your peaceable little town, right in your back yard, you might say. Guess that ought to keep you awake at night.
[to Jody Varner]
Will Varner: I put down a big footprint. I said: 'Here. Step here. Fill it.' You never did.
Auctioneer: This is gonna be about the most expensive chicken supper you ever had, boy, but worth every cent of it, considering the charming company you're gonna be eating it in. I, uh, I hope you're gonna give him dessert for that price, Clara.
Will Varner: You got hellfire and damnation in you, Jody Varner, but you got redemption too. When I think of the hate that put me in there and locked the door and set fire to it, and when I think of the love that wouldn't let me go... I got me a son again. I got me a good right arm - and a left.
Ben: You look like two butterflies lit out on the grass.
Ben: I know, and you don't listen and neither did I.
Agnes Stewart: [to Clara] I'd give something to know what goes on in my brother's temperature dreams. I know what goes on in mine.
Eula: I went shopping in those Memphis stores this morning and just went wild. Alligator bag, figured print, summer shoes. Which is all a laugh considering we live in Frenchman's Bend and nobody's gonna see 'em but redneck farmers and immediate family. I don't care though. I got my morale to keep up.