| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE FOOT JOKES OF THE WEEK Why isn't your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot Why couldn't the two feet get along? Because they both thought they were right. Who always goes to bed with his shoes on? A horse How did the bubblegum cross the road? It was stuck to the bottom of the chicken's foot. What is the fastest way to go to the moon? Tickle the bottom of an elephant's foot! What type of hat does a leg wear? A knee cap. What did one knee bone say to the other knee bone? "Let's get out of this joint." What are a plumbers favourite type of shoes? Tap shoes What kind of shoes does a plumber hate? Clogs If athletes get athlete's foot, what do terrorists get? Missile-toe. What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes? Toe-nails What is the foot capital of Canada? Toe-ron-toe (Toronto). Did you hear the joke about the gym sock? You don't want to. It stinks Did you hear about the American podiatrist and the English chiropodist? They were arch rivals. Yankel had broken down on the side of the roah. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my car?' 'Sorry,' the motorist replied. 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a podiatrist.' 'Well', said Yankel 'can you give me a toe?' When you are on good terms with your dermatologist, ask this question: "When you started your practice, did you start from scratch?" Why did the podiatrist want to change careers? Because he always felt defeat. Dr. Goldberg the podiatrist was sitting in his office holding his head, when the nurse came in she asked him what was wrong. He looked like he was having a rough day. He said "yeah I started this morning on the wrong foot!" A man walks into Moshe's shoe shop and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks Moshe. "Well the left one feels a bit tight," replies the man. Moshe looks down at the shoe on the man's left foot and says, "Try it again, this time with the tongue out." "Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." | 
