Monday, October 3, 2011

"The Pulpit"...... I got "Goose Bumps" just viewing this!!! and Understanding Engineers

DAY three is in Ottawa, and here is part three of that trip

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

Bertrand Russell
Bertrand Arthur William Russell was a British philosopher, logician, mathematician, historian, and social critic

Understanding Engineers #1
>>> Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
>>> said, "
Where did you get such a great bike?"* *
>>> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
>>> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
>>> threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
>>> you want."
>>> The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The
>>> clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."_
>>> _/_Understanding Engineers #2_/_
>>> __
>>> _To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is
>>> half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
>>> be._
>>> _/_Understanding Engineers #3_//_
>>> _/_
>>> _A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>>> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
>>> those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
>>> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>>> golf!"
>>> The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with
>>> him.." He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of
>>> us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
>>> The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
>>> They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
>>> always let them play for free anytime."
>>> The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I
>>> think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
>>> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
>>> colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."
>>> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
>>> /_Understanding Engineers #4_//_
>>> _/_
>>> _What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
>>> engineers?
>>> Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
>>> _
>>> _/_Understanding Engineers #5_/_
>>> _ The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>>> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>>> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
>>> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"_
>>> _/_Understanding Engineers #6
>>> _/_
>>> _Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must
>>> have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
>>> Just look at all the joints."
>>> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
>>> many thousands of electrical connections."
>>> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a mechanical
>>> engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
>>> recreational area?"_
>>> _/_Understanding Engineers #7_//_
>>> _/
>>> Normal people believe that if it isnt' broke, don't fix it.
>>> Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough
>>> features yet._
>>> _/_Understanding Engineers #8
>>> _/_
>>> _An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
>>> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
>>> over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
>>> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a
>>> beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
>>> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
>>> it to the pocket.
>>> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>>> princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."
>>> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
>>> his pocket..
>>> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>>> beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
>>> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>>> girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

.. I got "Goose Bumps" just viewing this!!!

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