|  	                                                                                      if Noah had to build his ark today                                                                           In the year 2017, the Lord came unto Noah,
 who was now living in America and said:
 "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated,and I see the end of all flesh before me."
 "Build another ark and save 2 of every living thing
 along with a few good humans."
 He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
 "You have 6 months to build the ark before I will
 start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
 Six months later, the Lord looked down
 and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no ark."Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
 Where is the ark?"
 "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah,
 "but things have changed."   "I needed a building permit."
   "I've been arguing with the boat inspector
 about the need for a sprinkler system."
   
 "My neighbors claim that I've violated the
 neighborhood by-laws by building the ark in my
 backyard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
 go to the local Planning Committee for a decision."
     "Then the local Council and the electric company demanded
 a shed load of money for the future costs of moving powerlines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
 passage for the ark's move to the sea. I told them
 that the sea would be coming to us, but they would
 hear none of it."
     "Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban
 on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl."
 "I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
 needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!"
     "When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court.
 They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive andit was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
 such a confined space."
     "Then the Environmental Protection Agency
 ruled that I couldn't build the ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."     "I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
 Rights Commission on how many minorities I'msupposed to hire for my building crew."
     "The Immigration Department is checking the
 Visa status of most of the people who want to work."
   "The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union Workers withArk-Building experience."
     "To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."   
 "So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least
 10 years for me to finish this ark."       "Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,and a rainbow stretched across the sky."
       Noah looked up in wonder and asked,"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
   "No," said the Lord.
 "The Government beat me to it."
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