Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza? No sir - it's Google Pizza. I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. No sir - Google bought Gordon's Pizza last month. - I would like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual, sir? My usual - you know me? According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses - sausage - pepperoni - mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust. OK - that's what I want . May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta - arugula - sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust? What? I detest vegetables. Your cholesterol is not good, sir. How the hell do you know? Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago. I bought more from another drugstore. That doesn't show on your credit card statement. I paid in cash. But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. I have other sources of cash. That doesn't show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law. WHAT THE HELL? ! ! ! ! I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google - Facebook - Twitter - WhatsApp and all the others!! I'm going to an island without internet - cable TV - where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me !! I understand sir - but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago |