|  Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza? No sir - it's Google Pizza.
 I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.
   No sir - Google bought Gordon's Pizza last month.                                    I would like to order a pizza. Do you want your usual, sir?
 My usual - you know me?
 According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses - sausage - pepperoni - mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.
   OK - that's what I want . May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta - arugula - sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?
 What?  I detest vegetables.
 Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
 How the hell do you know?
 Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
   Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!   I already take medication for my cholesterol.   Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.   I bought more from another drugstore. That doesn't show on your credit card statement.
   I paid in cash. But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
   I have other sources of cash. That doesn't show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
   WHAT THE HELL? ! ! ! ! I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
 Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google - Facebook - Twitter - WhatsApp and all the others!!   I'm going to an island without internet - cable TV - where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me !!
   I understand sir - but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago   |