| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FUNNY TERRIBLE HOLLYOOD JOKES OF THE WEEK Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film. One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?" The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book". My sister is a theater teacher and asked her class, "What would the world be like without theater?" One of her students replied, "Well, Abraham Lincoln would've lived a bit longer." I just heard Back to the Future was getting a re-release at the cinema. It's about time. My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink… No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie. Everyone knows Al Pacino, the famous Hollywood icon. No one talks about his brother Cap, who invented delicious Italian coffee. Imagine Hollywood is making a feature film about creating the perfect meal. In the first act of the movie, they go through many trials and tribulations to decide on what bread they should use. Eventually they decide on tortilla The second act, they're now plotting on what should go IN the bread. Meat, veggies, maybe neither. Finally, the third act. now they just gotta slap this bad boy together. Weeks of shooting go by. They finally finish shooting the final scene The director yells, ITS A WRAP!! Hollywood marriages TV interviewer: You were married four times: to a banker, to an actor, to a minister, and to an undertaker. Can you tell me why? Legendary actress: Well, it was One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go! What did Hollywood say when they made another Batman movie? Done another-nother-nother-done-another-nother-nother...Batman! I once wrote an entire theater production based on puns. It was a play on words. Starting this Thursday, some movie theaters will not allow large bags inside the theater. But thank God I have a few twix up my sleeve. A movie theater was robbed of $150 worth of candy. The thieves took 2 bags of M n' Ms and a small soda Two blondes froze to death at the drive-in theater. They were there to see "Closed for Winter." Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers! "I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone. "I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis. "What about you, Arnie?" they asked.. To which he replies 'I'll be Bach.' What's the difference between Bollywood and Hollywood? One has a cast of characters, the other characters of caste. "Did you hear about that Hollywood actress who was stabbed?" "What was her name again?? Reece something..." "Witherspoon?" "No, with a knife!" What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid? Quentin Quarantino. | 
