| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE INFLUENCER JOKES OF THE WEEK What do pimples and social media influencers have in common? They both start off small, randomly grow huge, explode, then leave a nasty scar until one day we forget they were ever there. What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major? The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless. I'm not sure where all the racist antisemitic influencers are going to go when social media platforms kick them off. They can't all go to Congress. How much does an Influencer weigh? An Instagram. Do you remember how before social media nobody cared what, where and with whom you ate? Still nobody cares. What did the French army general do on social media? Retweet! What do you call an influencer with the corona virus? An influenzer But only if it goes viral... Did you hear about the influencer who became a suicide bomber? At first he had barely any followers, but then he blew up. A new Jewish social media site is sweeping over college campuses. Mysafespace. For a while now, I always wondered how my parents passed the time in the 80's and 90's without social media. I asked my 32 other siblings and they've got no idea either. (Ouch!) What's the difference between a social media influencer and a bench? One can support a family. Someone people are good-looking enough for others to assume they must be an Instagram influencer...People take one look at me and assume I have reddit. Facebook wants to know "What's on my mind?" Twitter wants to know "What's happening?" Google wants to know "Where I am?" Siri/Alexa wants me to "Say something"! The internet is turning into an online wife! The influencer was diagnosed with paranoia. He believed nobody was following him.!. Why do Instagram influencers enjoy shopping at Walmart so much? They just can't get enough of the self-checkout. Three Instagram influencers walk into a bar. ...I know this because I just saw their story. Yankel asked his just graduated granddaughter, Shaindy "So what will you do for a living now that you earned your bachelor's degree?" Shaindy "I'm a frum model during the week, I'm a sing in the women's group and an influencer by contract. Yankel: Don't worry Mamaleh.. I remember when I just graduated I was also unemployed, be patient How does a Muslim influencer wish for sponsored posts? Installah My doctor refuses to post my diagnosis to social media...He says my disease is untweetable... I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on Twitter and post it on a different social media platform. Retweet if you agree
|