Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Scientists create life modules

Rabbi Yehuda Lave from Jerusalem.
Live Totally In The Present

Most of the thoughts that rob one of serenity have to do with being upset about the past and feeling anxious about the future. When you master the ability to live totally in the present and you are able to be calm about that present, you will have mastered serenity. One needs to plan ahead. This is one definition of a wise person. Do so serenely in the present.

Like every rule, this one has exceptions. Einstein taught that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over again that did not produce good results and expect it to be different the ninth time around. If you life totally in the present and forget your past mistakes, you are bound to make them again.

Today I am off on a trip to Mount Grisim (near Sechem) to see the Samaratains do their version of the Passover sacrifice. For them it is permitted and at least I will have seen it life.

Love Yehuda Lave

Scientists are starting to create life:

But remember they are making life from something. G-d creates something from nothing.
NY mosque hosts seder for Jews, Muslims - Diaspora - Jerusalem Post

Next Abbas will claim the Palastinians came out of Egypt

John Kasich links Jesus' blood to Passover at matzah bakery

In cringe-worthy moment, GOP hopeful says 'blood of the lamb above the lampposts' was Christ's, as he's known as 'the lamb of God'

Rare video of Jews in Poland Pre WW2

Only in America drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..

Only in America they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Lost Words Of Our Youth!

Heavens to Murgatroyd! Would you believe the email spell checker did not
recognize the word murgatroyd?

Words gone as fast as the buggy whip! Sad really!

The other day a not so elderly (65) lady said something to her son about
driving a Jalopy and he looked at her quizzically and said what the heck is
a Jalopy? OMG (new) phrase! He never heard of the word jalopy!! She knew she was old
but not that old.

Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle.

Some old expressions have become obsolete because of the inexorable march
of technology.

These phrases included "Don't touch that dial," "Carbon copy," "You sound
like a broken record" and "Hung out to dry."

Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We'd put on our best bib and
tucker to straighten up and fly right.

Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumping Jehoshaphat! Holy moley!

We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley, and even a regular guy
couldn't accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for
all the tea in China!

Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when's the last time
anything was swell?

Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats,
knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers.

Oh, my aching back. Kilroy was here, but he isn't anymore.

We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can
say, "well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!" or, "This is a fine kettle of fish!" we
discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed as
omnipresent as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our
tongues and our pens and our keyboards.

Poof, go the words of our youth, the words we've left behind. We blink, and
they're gone. Where have all those phrases gone?

Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. Hey! It's your nickel.

Don't forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper.

Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I'll see you in the funny papers.
Don't take any wooden nickels.

It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter
has liver pills.

This can be disturbing stuff!

We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changeful times.

For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age.

We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of
remembering there are words that once did not exist and there were
words that once strutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now
are heard no more, except in our collective memory.

It's one of the greatest advantages of aging.

See ya later, alligator!

On The Lighter Side

A Russian Jew fell off the river bank into the water. Since he could not swim, he was in danger of drowning.
Two Tsarist policemen heard cries for help and rushed to the river bank. But when they saw that it was a Jew, they laughed at him and began to walk off.
"Help, I can't swim," shouted the Jew.
"Then drown," one replied.
Suddenly the Jew shouts with his last breath: "Down with the Tsar!"
The policemen immediately rushed into the water, pulled the Jew on to the bank, and arrested him for sedition.

UNESCO: Jews Have No Connection to the Temple Mount

Desecrated Jewish graves on Mount Olives / Screenshot
Desecrated Jewish graves on Mount Olives / Screenshot


France, Spain, Sweden, Russia and Slovenia were among the non-Arab nations who supported the resolution.

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