Sunday, November 19, 2017

48 little know facts about who is Jewish and 37 Jokes from Steve Wright

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Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor

These are the words of Rabbi Shlomo Lorincz zt"l regarding his remarkable interview in the early 1950s with former U. S. President Harry S. Truman, who said, "Three thousand years ago, you Jews saved humanity, wild mankind, via your Torah, so too I believe and hope that, even nowadays, you, the Jewish Nation, will be successful again, to enlighten and to heal the beasts of cruelty in our midst and save the world from total destruction."
Rabbi Lorincz repeated President Truman's words from the podium of the Knesset, and added: "The wise among the nations know that the job of the Jewish Nation is to be a light unto the nations, and through the Torah that is in our hands to save the world from destruction and to cause goodness to come to the world. If we don't actualize this mission, our friends will turn their backs on us and they will conduct themselves solely focused on their own interests, and then they will favor the hundred million Arabs and the billion Moslems over the handful of Jews." (Introduction to Miluai Shlomo, courtesy of Rabbi Yechezkel Shraga Weinfeld Shlita"h)

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48 LITTLE know facts about Jews-not all guranteed accurate


 1) The Roosevelts were Dutch Jews who arrived in NYC in 1682. Claes Rosenvelt before he changed his name to Nicholas Roosevelt, was the first Roosevelt ancestor to set foot in America.  Sarah Delano, FDR's mother, descended from Sephardic Jews. The web site Jew or NOT A JEW, SAYS Oh, why do we run such an honest website? FDR's ancestors were not Jewish. There were Dutch and French, of various Christian denominations. There are rumors that he had Jewish roots on his maternal site, but there is absolutely no confirmation. He himself was Episcopal. So no, FDR, not a Jew according

 2) Joseph Stalin was originally named Joseph David Djugashvili (translated as: "son of a Jew").All 3 of the women that he married were Jewish.

 3) Dwight Eisenhower's father was a Swedish Jew, and listed in West Point's Yearbook of 1915

 4) Louis Santanel, a Jew, was the financier who provided the funds for Columbus' voyage to the New World (America). 

5) Fiorello Laguardia, famous former mayor of New York City , whose mother's name was Jacobson. His father was not Jewish. Laguardia spoke seven languages fluently, including Hebrew and Yiddish.

 6) Winston Churchill whose mother's name was Jenny Jerome, a Jew. this 

 7) Cary Grant, whose mother, Elsie, was Jewish.  His father, Elias Leach, was not.  Grant's original name was Archibald Alexander Leach (Robin Leach's first cousin). 

8) Peter Sellers' mother, Margaret Marks, was Jewish.  His father, Bill Sellers, was not.  Peter's real name is Richard Henry Sellers.

 9) David Bowie's mother is Jewish, his father is not.  One of Bowie's albums discusses his Jewish ancestry.  His real name, David Stenton Haywood Jones.

 10) Robert DeNiro's mother is Jewish.

 11) Shari Belafonte's mother is Jewish. Her father Harry's grandfather is Jewish. 1

2) Olivia Newton John's grandfather, a Jew, was a Nobel Prize winning physicist.

 13) Harrison Ford's mother is a Russian Jew.  His father is Irish Catholic.

 14) The first theater to be used solely for the showing of motion pictures was built by Adolf Zukor.

 15) The first full-length sound picture, The Jazz Singer was produced by Samuel L. Goldwyn & Louis B. Mayer (MGM), both Jewish.  Louis B. Mayer created the idea for the Oscar. 

16) A Jew, Dr Abraham Waksman, coined the term antibiotics. 

17) A Polish Jew, Casimir Funk, who pioneered a new field of medical research, gave us a common word -- vitamins. 

18) The first successful operation for appendicitis was performed by a Jewish surgeon, Dr Simon Baruch. 

19) Dr. Abraham Jacobi hailed as America's father of Pediatrics, was Jewish.

 20) Until a Jewish doctor, Dr. Siccary proved it differently, people believed that tomato was poisonous.

 21) A Jew, Levi Strauss, is the inventor/originator of jeans & Levis , one of the largest clothing retailers in the world. 

22) In 1909, four Jews were among the 60 multi-cultural signers of the Call to the National Action, which resulted in the creation of the NAACP. 

23) A Jew, Emile Berliner, is the man who developed the modern day phonograph.While Thomas Edison was working out a type of phonograph that used a
cylinder as a record, Berliner invented a machine that would play a disc.
The machine he patented was called the gramophone, and the famous RCA
trademark is a picture of a dog listening to "his master's voice" on
Berliner's device. The gramophone was superior to Edison 's machine. In 
short, Emile Berliner made possible the modern record industry. His company
was eventually absorbed by the Victor Talking Machine Company, now known as

24) Sherry Lansing, a Jew, became the first woman to become president of a major Hollywood studio, Paramount Pictures.

 25) European Jews are the founding fathers of all the Hollywood Studios. 

26) Jews comprise a mere 1/4 of 1% (13 million) of the world's population (of over 6 billion), and while 99% of the world is non-Jewish, 72% of Pulitzer Prize winners are Jews.

 27) Three of greatest & most influential thinkers dominating the 20th Century are Jews - Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, and Karl Marx.

 28) The most popular selling Christmas song "White Christmas" was written by a Jew, Irving Berlin.

 29) Of the 660 Nobel prizes from 1901 - 1990, 160 have been awarded to Jews. More Jews have won more Nobel prizes than any other ethnicity. They have won 40x more than should be expected of them based upon their small population numbers.

 30) A Jew, Dr Jonas Salk, is the creator of the first polio vaccine.

 31) Hayam Solomon & Isaac Moses, both Jews, are responsible for creating the first modern banking institutions.

 32) Jews created the first department stores in America in the nineteenth century.The Altmans, Gimbels, Kaufmanns, Lazaruses, Magnins, Mays, Strausses became leaders of major department stores.
Julius Rosenwald revolutionized the way Americans purchased goods by improving Sears Roebuck's mail order merchandising.
Hart, Schaffner, Marx, Kuppenheimer and Levi Strauss became household names in men's clothing. 

33) Marc Chagall (originally Segal) a Russia Jew, is one of the great 20th century painters.

 34) The fortune(s) of English Jews -- Isaac Goldsmid, Nathan Rothschild, David Salomons, and Moses Montefiore -- helped England become a world empire. 

35) In 1918, Detroit, a Jew, Max Goldberg, opened the "first" commercial parking lot.

 36) In 1910, Jews Louis Blaustein and his son opened the "first" gas station, eventually founding the American Oil Company (AMOCO). The Blausteins became one of the richest oil families in the world. 

37) A Jew, Dr Albert Sabin, developed the first oral polio vaccine. 

38) Steven Spielberg, is the most successful filmmaker since the advent of film is also Jewish.

 39) A Jew, Emma Lazarus, wrote the famous poem, The New Colossus" which is inscribed on the Statue Of Liberty.

 40) Harry Houdini (Weiss) is the father of magic and illusion was Jewish.

 41) Abraham, is the father of the Jews and Arabs, and from whom the world's 3 major religions: Judaism, Christianity & Islam originated.

 42) Jews are the oldest of any people on earth who have kept their national identity and cultural heritage intact.

 43) George & Ira Gershwin and Irving Berlin, all Jews, are three of the most prolific composers of the 20th century.

 44) Isadore & Nathan Straus, who are both Jews. "Abraham & Straus," eventually became sole owners of Macy's, the world's largest department store in 1896.

 45) Dr. Paul Ehrlich, a Jewish physician, was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1908 for finding the cure for syphilis. 

46) Armand Hammer, a Jew, of "Arm & Hammer" fame. a physician & businessman originated the largest trade between U. S. and Russia.

 47) Lillian Friedman, a Jewish woman, married Cruz Rivera.  They named their baby Geraldo Miguel Rivera (it doesn't sound Jewish).  But according to Jewish Law, anyone born to a Jewish mother is Jewish. Thus, Geraldo Rivera is considered Jewish.

 48) Flo Zigfield of "Ziegfield Follies" fame is the creator of American burlesque was Jewish.

35 works of Steven Wright

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous comic scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."
His mind sees things differently than most of us do. Here are some of his gems.
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to pay for her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. 

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?


Getting a wife for your son

 Before Avraham quietly exits the Biblical stage, he carefully instructs and deputizes his trusted servant, Eliezer to find an appropriate wife for his son, Yitzchak. Why did Avraham, the father, assume this responsibility? After all, Yitzchak was surely old enough to find his own spouse. The Tosefta in Kedushin (quoted in Kedushin 29a) codifies this obligation and enjoins all fathers to follow Avraham's example. Why?


Rabbi Akiva tells us in the Mishna in Eidiyos (4:9) that among the attributes a father bequeaths to his child is "mispar hadoros l'fanav, the number of the generations before him, v'hu ha'keitz, and this is the appointed end." Rav Soloveitchik explains this rather enigmatic passage to mean this: A parents' responsibility to their child is not exhausted by the physical and emotional effort involved in rearing the baby to adulthood. In addition to insuring the physical welfare of the child, there exists an additional duty to make sure the child understands and is willing to assume his critical role in the great chain of our Mesorah and to remain forever loyal and dedicated to that sacred tradition. Such a role cannot be fulfilled without the right life-partner. Avraham needed a Sarah and Yitzchak would require a Rivka in order to insure that the "number of generations before him" would perpetuate beyond their lives.


Therefore, Avraham cannot depart before he demonstrates the importance of thinking beyond his own life and help guarantee the future for his posterity as Gd's chosen People by arranging for the marriage of his son. "And this is the appointed end, keitz." In Rav Soloveitchik's view, only in this way can the ultimate keiz, the long awaited redemption occur.


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Rabbi Yehuda Lave

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