Jokes from my sister When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Rodney Dangerfield Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm. Hippocrates Time is generally the best doctor. Ovid You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.' Abe Lemons A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. Groucho Marx
I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral. Keith Richards
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. George Carlin I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. Rita Rudner The doctor must have put my pacemaker in wrong. Every time my husband kisses me, the garage door goes up. Minnie Pearl You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten. Earl Wilson The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine. George S. Kaufman |