RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE PURIM JOKES OF THE WEEK
Why is the Shabbos before Purim called Shabbos Zachor? BECAUSE THAT IS THE LAST THING YOU WILL REMEMBER FOR A LONG TIME!
What was Queen Esther's royal gown made of? POLY-ESTER
Why do we give out so much tzedaka (charity) on Purim? The Megillah says that this holiday is called Purim because of the PUR, the LOTS, that Haman drew. Therefore we give LOTS to the POOR!
What bracha (blessing) did the Jews say upon seeing Haman hanging on the gallows? HA'EITZ!
Who had the tallest family tree in history? HAMAN!
Top Five Purim Fears
Police lights on your front lawn
Your husband and car missing
A knock on your door in the middle of the night.
Missing a word of Megilla
A Yeshiva guys asking to use your bathroom
Top five Drunk Yeshiva bochrim
Calls your wife rebbetzin
Dances on your shaky dining room table
"Rebbi I just want to learn Toirah"
Weeps in the corner for Mashiach
Calls his mother to say he loves her
What do anti-vaxxers and anti- drinkers have in common? Hint- You have one shot at answering this question