RABBI SCHWARTZ'S REVENGE JOKES OF THE WEEK Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer yid is having breakfast. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy's pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor. Without a word of protest, Yankeleh pays his bill and leaves. "Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers. "Not much of a driver, either," says the waitress. "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles." "I'd like this book on revenge please" Cashier: "You'll pay for that." I'm going to start a restaurant called: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold. You know what we're going to serve? Just desserts... To the thief who stole my Microsoft Office... I will get my revenge... you have my Word... A blind guy walks into a primarily female bar. During a break in the music, he loudly says "hey, y'all wanna hear a blond joke?" Being blind, he doesn't realize how many blond women are in the bar. The bartender walks up to him and tells him "Alright man, I know you're blind and new around here, so let me offer you some advice. I am 6'5 and blond. I wrestled in college and I work out everyday. The girl to your left is blond, and she's an MMA fighter who paralyzed an opponent last year by accident . The girl on your right is blond, and she's a boxer. The girl at the table behind you is blond, and she just got out of prison for killing a man. At the table next to her is yet another blond, who beats up people for a drug ring regularly and frequently escapes from jail to enact revenge on people who don't pay up. Now tell me, cowboy, do you really want to tell a blond joke?" The blind man sighs. "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it 5 times." Unbelievable!!! My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, so in revenge I stole her wheelchair... Well, guess who came crawling back today... On the day Elka received her learner's permit, I agreed to take her out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, I hopped in the back behind the driver's seat. "Why aren't you sitting up front on the passenger's side?" she asked. "Elka, I've been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl," I replied. "Now it's my turn to sit back here and kick the seat." |