| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE SIREN JOKES OF THE WEEK In the city, you ignore sirens and listen for gunshots. In the country, you ignore gunshots and listen for sirens. In Detroit, you ignore both. What do you call a pig with lights and sirens on it's back? A ham-bulance The police car, its siren blaring, raced in front of a speeding car and forced it to stop. A heavily built policeman got out and walked over. "You name, please?" asked the policeman, taking out his notebook and pen. "Certainly, officer," replied the driver. "It's Chaim Yerachmiel Shmerel Antschel Zelig Baruch Goldenfarbenstein." The policeman thought for a moment, then looked at his notebook, shook his head and said: "I'll just give you a warning this time don't break the speed limit again." A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to rob a bank. Everything goes well-they have their masks on, the bank hands over the money-awesome. Exiting the bank, they hear sirens and see several cop cars round the corner, so they dash into a small alleyway. The cops are quick though, and are just about to reach the entrance. There are three empty potato sacks lying against the wall. "Quick! Hide!" The brunette says, and the three women each crawl into a bag. A police man comes down the alleyway, looking around for any signs of the women. The potato sacks stick out to him-so he gives the one with the redhead a kick. "Meow!" goes the redhead, doing her best imitation of a cat. "Just an alley cat..." The police officer mumbles, moving onto the next bag and delivering a quick nudge with his foot. "Woof!" Goes the brunette, imitating a dog. "Just a stray..." The officer mumbles again, heading to the last bag, and giving it a light kick. "POOOOE-TAYYY-TOOOEE" grunts the blonde. Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious." A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway... Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting... Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn,and yelled,"PULL OVER" "No!"the blond yelled back, "its a scarf." So I got pulled over...I was driving home from the bar and of course Sirens were wailing and showing red and blue. I pulled over and the officer showed up to my window and shined a light in my eyes. "Sir you have been swerving and your eyes are red have you been drinking" "Well, your eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts?!" We laughed and laughed!!! Yeah, I need bail money.... A blonde was driving down the highway. Soon she heard sirens and saw lights behind her, and was pulled over. A cop, also a blonde woman, approached her door. "You were speeding, miss," she said. "May I see your license?" The blonde driver rummaged through her purse for a minute before looking up in confusion. "Well, what's it look like?" she asked. "It's a small square thing with your picture on it," said the cop. The driver looked again and finally pulled out a small mirror and handed it to the cop. The blonde cop looked at it and handed it back. "Okay, you can go," she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a police officer."
| 
