Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor | | | | Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money, and spiritual engagement Love Yehuda Lave | | You are responsible for yourself! "And Yitzhak was forty years old when he took Rivkah, the daughter of Besuail the Aromite, from Padan Arom, the sister of Lavan the Aromite, for himself for a wife" (Genesis 25:20). The Torah has already stated (in last week's Torah portion) that Rivkah was the daughter of Besuail, the sister of Lavan, and was from Padan Arom. What do we learn from this seemingly superfluous information? Rashi asks this question and answers that the Torah is emphasizing the praises of Rivkah. She was the daughter of an evil person, the sister of an evil person and lived in a community of evil people. Nevertheless, she did not learn from their behavior! Many people try to excuse their faults by blaming others as the cause of their behavior. "It's not my fault I have this bad trait, I learned it from my father and mother." "I'm not to blame for this bad habit since all my brothers and sisters do it also." "Everyone in my neighborhood does this or does not do that, so how could I be any different?" They use this as a rationalization for failing to make an effort to improve. We see from Rivkah that regardless of the faulty behavior of those in your surrounding, you have the ability to be more elevated. Of course, it takes courage and a lot of effort to be different. The righteous person might be considered a nonconformist and even rebellious by those in his environment whose standard of values are below his level. However, a basic Torah principle is that we are responsible for our own actions. Pointing to others in your environment who are worse than you is not a valid justification for not behaving properly. If you ever find yourself saying, "It's not my fault I did this. It's because of the way I was raised or because I learned it from so and so," change your focus to, "I'll make a special effort to improve in this area to overcome the tendency to follow in the footsteps of others." Blaming others for your faults and saying that you cannot do anything to change them will be a guarantee that they will remain with you. Make a list of the negative traits you picked up from your early environment. Develop a plan of action to improve in those areas! | | Mindful Eating By Menachem Feldman In recent years it has become increasingly clear that eating mindfully has many health benefits. The Harvard Health Blog, for example, reported: Paying more attention to what you eat, not less, could help keep you from overeating. Multitasking—like eating while watching television or working—and distracted or hurried eating can prompt you to eat more. Slowing down and savoring your food can help you control your intake.1 Jews have always understood the power of mindful eating. Judaism teaches that eating is not only a necessity of survival, nor merely a pleasurable experience; it is also a spiritual exercise. Much of the discussion in this week's parshah is about eating the Temple offerings. Some were eaten by the priests, while others were eaten by the person who brought the offering. In either case, the eating of the offering was part of what achieved the offering's spiritual effect. The Talmud tells us: Rabbi Yochanan and Rabbi Elazar both said: while the Temple still stood, the altar atoned for man; now that the Temple no longer stands, a man's table atones for him."2 This teaching is extraordinary: how can it possibly be that when we sit down to eat a meal we are experiencing the same spiritual effect, the same atonement, as with the offerings that were brought upon the altar? Kabbalah and Chassidic philosophy teach that every creation has a soul, a spark of G‑dliness. This is true for each of the forms of life on earth: the inanimate, the plant, and the animal. Each possesses a soul that yearns for the opportunity to transcend and reconnect with its source. All of creation can be elevated through the human being—the only creation made in the image of G‑d and the only creation to possess free choice. When man consumes the inanimate, plant, or animal, one of two things can happen. If he eats for his own personal pleasure, he is lowered to their spiritual level, which, from the soul's perspective, is a missed opportunity for both man and food. If, however, he eats the food with a spiritual purpose—so that he will be healthy and have energy to serve his Creator and achieve his mission on earth, then he elevates the spark of holiness within the food and allows it to be reunited with its Divine source.3 The daily offerings, which were brought in the Temple on behalf of all the Jewish people, comprised every category of creation: each animal was brought together with an offering of grain—representing the plant kingdom, and salt—representing the inanimate. The intense holiness of the Temple meant that not only were the offerings sanctified, but all animals, plants, and minerals in the rest of the world were sanctified too.4 Today, however, we don't enjoy the spiritual benefits of the Temple. As such, the responsibility of elevating the sparks within creation falls to each of us. "While the Temple still stood," says the Talmud, "the altar atoned for man; now … man's table atones for him". Today, the atonement of the world and its spiritual elevation is in our hands and upon our tables. So next time you eat, do so mindfully. Notice the colors, smells, flavors, and textures of your food. But don't stop there. Dig deeper. Be mindful of the spark of holiness within the food. Recite the appropriate blessings, and consider how you will elevate the soul of the food by using its energy to fuel good deeds. FOOTNOTES 1. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/distracted-eating-may-add-to-weight-gain-201303296037. 2. Menachot 97a. 3. See Tanya chapter 7. 4. See Tanya ibid.
By Menachem Feldman More by this author
Rabbi Menachem Feldman serves as the director of the Lifelong Learning department at the Chabad Lubavitch Center in Greenwich, Connecticut. | | Quotes from Carrie Fisher I was street smart, but unfortunately the street was Rodeo Drive. Carrie Fisher Instant gratification takes too long. Carrie Fisher I'm very sane about how crazy I am. Carrie Fisher The manic end of is a lot of fun. Carrie Fisher You get to choose what monsters you want to slay. I'm sorry to say this again, but let's face it - the Force is with you. Carrie Fisher As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't. Carrie Fisher I like performing. I like partnering with an audience. Carrie Fisher
It's the most amazing thing to be able to forgive. Carrie Fisher | | A rocket hits in the middle of Israel and not one is screaming Sirens wailing in the middle of the night. Terrifying explosions outside the door. People in panic, rushing their children to a "safe place". Homes destroyed. Blood all over.
The London Blitz, 1940?No, Israel 2019. Where in Israel? It could be anywhere.
Last night huge missiles slammed into a tranquil village in the center of the country.
The quiet village was not in the "territories" and an Arab population (who was armed by PM Rabin in order for the PLO to protect us, in 1993).
It was not on the Lebanon border near where we retreated and handed the Hizbullah their base of operation against us (PM Barak - June 2000). It is not near Gaza where Hamas uses the land we gave them (PM Sharon August 2005) to attack us 24/7.No.This part of the country was supposed to be protected from "the price of peace" of the Oslo and Expulsion geniuses.
Alas, it too is not safe.
There is not a single corner of Israel that is safe from those who were supposed to appreciate our concessions and be our "peace partners" in the "New Middle East" as promised us.
What are the questions asked today by the media?
What happened to the missile defense system! Was the attack perhaps a mistake? Which terror group is responsible?
Truth be told, very few in the media or politics are willing or capable of offering a solution.We have spent huge treasure on sophisticated anti-missile technology.
We have invested even greater treasure in physical barriers and hardened "safe spots" to run to and hide behind from the missiles.
Still, Israel's population sleep furtively with a sword constantly poised over its head.The panic and dread of one missile that fell in the center of the country last night, is the constant experience of Israel's population living near Gaza for years (especially since Israel forfeited Gaza to the terrorists for peace).
The missiles today are more sophisticated than when we fled Gaza and Lebanon. The terrorists are bolder. As Israel supplies the terror government in Gaza with water, electricity and lots of cash, and they build a sophisticated war machine to be used against us, we wonder. How to deal with the next missle? Where will it possibly fall? How do we hide ?
You would think that Israel's enemy is the missile. Was the Luftwaffe the enemy of Britain in 1940, or was it the regime that sent them to kill Britons?
Was Britain's aim to clear the sky of enemy planes or to bring down the evil regime that threatened it with destruction?
The political and media establishment in Israel is numbed by the fear of the very thought of destroying the Hamas terror regime (that was voted in by a majority of Gazan Jew haters).Who would Israel "talk" to if they were eliminated? To whom would we give millions in cash?
Who would take responsibility for the innocent population (the Jew haters) of Gaza?Do we really want to return to the pre missile days and to control Gaza?
I know of only a very few politicians in Israel who advocate the only realistic solution:
Take over Gaza and thus stop the terror attacks on Israel.
Use all the massive military might and sophistication that we have to destroy the leadership of Hamas and their entire military and supportive infrastructure. Make clear that UN, schools, hospitals, etc... that protect terrorists must be evacuated immediately as they will be targeted. Do it by air and special operations.Do not send in large ground forces.
Make it clear to the Gaza population that anyone acting as a Hamas collaborator will be dealt as the Hamas leadership is.
Only when it is fairly certain that the Hamas leadership and military are severely weakened do we send in ground forces to secure the area.
Once it is secured, we will allow civilian life to resume with our direction.We then eliminate all pockets of Hamas support.The civilian population is told that Israel will aid them in emigrating. Polls repeatedly show that way over half the population wants very badly to leave Gaza
Today, those who can, do leave and even bribe Hamas to make it possible.Help them along their way.They will be very appreciative.
Where will they go?With cash in their pockets ( instead of spending money on walls and secure rooms, it is better spent on finally solving the problem and not continually hiding from its symptoms), they will go to the front of any line waiting to enter another country in the West or the Gulf oil countries. Many have relatives in these places who are waiting for them.
Those who want to remain will have full human rights as long as they are peaceful. One wrong move and out. Israel does not owe them citizenship. They are free to go where ever they wish.
Bring back the brave, productive Jewish residents to the area and encourage others to join them in making this part of our land great again - and forever Israel.
The alternative? Yet "another round" and putting our wonderful soldiers in harm's way. (Ganz proudly exclaimed that he is willing to sacrifice our soldiers rather than endanger "innocent enemy civilians).
I don't think so.
| | A Young Woody Allen boxing a Kangaroo seeing is believing | | How Do You Keep the Music Playing?
James Ingram, In Memory
How do you keep the music playing?
How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading
Too fast? How do you lose yourself to someone
And never lose your way?
How do you not run out of new things
To say? And since you know we're always changing
How can it be the same? And tell me how year after year
You're sure your heart won't fall apart
Each time you hear his name? I know the way I feel for you is now or never
The more I love, the more that I'm afraid
That in your eyes I may not see forever, forever If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it grows
With any luck than I suppose
How Do You Keep the Music Playing?
James Ingram, In Memory
How do you keep the music playing?
How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading
Too fast? How do you lose yourself to someone
And never lose your way?
How do you not run out of new things
To say? And since you know we're always changing
How can it be the same? And tell me how year after year
You're sure your heart won't fall apart
Each time you hear his name? I know the way I feel for you is now or never
The more I love, the more that I'm afraid
That in your eyes I may not see forever, forever If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it grows
With any luck than I suppose
The music never ends I know (how do you keep the music playing)
The way I feel for you is now or never (how do you make it last)
The more I love the more that I'm afraid
(how do you keep the song from fading)
That in your eyes I may not see forever
(Keep the song from fading)
Forever If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it goes
With any luck than I suppose
The music never ends
Songwriters: Michel Jean Legrand / Alan Bergman / Marilyn Bergman
In Memory
How Do You Keep the Music Playing? lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group The music never ends I know (how do you keep the music playing)
The way I feel for you is now or never (how do you make it last)
The more I love the more that I'm afraid
(how do you keep the song from fading)
That in your eyes I may not see forever
(Keep the song from fading)
Forever If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it goes
With any luck than I suppose
The music never ends
Songwriters: Michel Jean Legrand / Alan Bergman / Marilyn Bergman
In Memory
How Do You Keep the Music Playing? lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group | | Quotes on Leadership from my Sister The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority. Ken Blanchard, Author Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence. Leonardo da Vinci, Polymath No man has any natural authority over his fellow men. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, politian The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn. Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman Statesman. Has a town in Illinois named after him. When you make your peace with authority, you become authority. Jim Morrison, Musician You can delegate authority, but you cannot delegate responsibility. Byron Dorgan, Actor Like a good parent can't also be his child's best friend, a leader with authority requires some separation from subordinates. Simon Sinek, Author Think for yourself and question authority. Timothy Leary, Psychologist, writer, Mr. LSD The wisest have the most authority. Plato, Greek Philosopher The authority of any governing institution must stop at its citizen's skin. Gloria Steinem, Feminist Distrust of authority should be the first civic duty. Norman Douglas, Writer And revolutions always mean the breakdown of old authority. Hu Shih, Philosopher | | Holy Pleasure: The Tikun of Eating Tu B'Shevat & the Four Levels of Eating By DovBer Pinson When we eat properly, we can taste the Divine Presence whether the physical taste is pleasing or not. Tu b'Shevat helps us align with holy eating from the earliest moment of the development of this year's delicious fruits. This day gives us a new beginning at the very fulcrum of our lives, the primal and decisive act of eating. Tu b'Shevat repairs one's eating for the entire year... Tu b'Shevat repairs one's eating for the entire year, so much so, that our eating can become like that of Adam and Eve before their spiritual fall. (Pri Tzadik, Parashat Beshalach) Since their spiritual fall and contraction came about through impulsively eating from a tree, we can create a spiritual elevation and expansion by eating fruits in mindfulness and holiness. The Kabbalists created a simple and informal "seder" for Tu b'Shevat that can initiate us into the spirituality of eating. Like the Passover Seder, this seder includes drinking four cups of wine. One may also meditatively eat four kinds of fruit, in a progressive order: 1) first, nuts with a hard inedible shell (or kelipa, representing negativity), then 2) fruits with a soft, edible outside, but also with a hard, inedible pit which must be separated from the edible part, 3) fruits with both an edible outside and inside, and finally 4) fruits that can be appreciated even for their scent or essence alone. Similarly, there are four ways of relating to food, corresponding to four ways of life: 1) To impulsively indulge in food, 'the Way of the Mundane World'. This represents our tendency toward addiction, the kelipa of eating, which we must break. 2) To fast, or separate ourselves from indulging in the pleasures of eating. This is 'the Way of Self-Rectification', or the classic teachings of Mussar. 3) To exercise 'hishtavut/ equanimity' in relation to the pleasure of eating. This is 'the Way of Transcendence', or Kabbalah. The Kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak of Acre teaches that we can reach a spiritual level where we are not affected inwardly or outwardly by people, whether they shame us or praise us. The same principle can be applied to the taste and quantity of food. 4) To take pleasure in the Divine essence within food. 'Holy pleasure' is the highest level of eating, for it fulfills the injunction, 'B'chol Derachecha De'eihu/In all your ways know Him.' This is 'the Way of Essence' or Chassidut. Obviously, the first is not really a "way of life", for it is a detriment to life. The three paths of Mussar, Kabbalah, and Chassidut, however, are each valid ways of relating to the physical world. Within every person's life, these three ways will be appropriate at different times, depending on the circumstances. These ways are also a continuum: if we are indulgent or dependent on food, we may need to move to stage two and fast. Once we are detached, we can move to stage three and eat with equanimity. From a place of equanimity, we can reach stage four and truly appreciate the holy beauty and wonder of food. We can practice equanimity and taste G‑d's Presence... In the path of Chassidut, the Baal Shem Tov unites aspects of the paths of Mussar and Kabbalah. On this level, we can fast from the self-centered desire for taste, while at the same time eating sumptuous foods. We can practice equanimity and taste G‑d's Presence simultaneously, whether the physical taste is pleasing or not. We are capable of expanding holiness into the realm of pleasure because the source of our souls is located in the supernal 'Ta'anug/ Divine pleasure'. (Noam Elimelech, Parashat Shemot) The Shabbat Maariv prayer calls us an 'am medushnei oneg/a people saturated with delight'. Each of us is capable of this ecstatic delight, even amid our worldly needs and concerns. During this month, may we let go of our egoistic attachment to taste, and actualize our capacity for deeper pleasure. On Tu b'Shevat, as we partake of delicious fruits and delicacies, may we taste the Divine Presence, and expand the boundaries of kedusha, permeating the world with the light of wisdom. In this way, may we begin to revive the correct flow of the Divine Name, and open a flow of rachamim into the world. May we bring the day, when for all people, the 'taanug olam hazeh/pleasures of this world', will be one with the deepest, formless pleasure of knowing G‑d, as King David sings, "V'hitaneg El Havayah/ take pleasure in the Infinite One." (Ps. 37:4) [From //IYYUN.com] By DovBer Pinson Rabbi DovBer Pinson, Rosh Kollel of IYYUN, is a world-renowned scholar, kabbalist, and spiritual teacher. Through his books and lectures he has touched the lives of tens of thousands, and serves as a mentor to many across the globe. He has authored over 30 books, many of which have been translated into multiple languages. More from DovBer Pinson | RSS © Copyright, all rights reserved. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with Chaba | | See you tomorrow Love Yehuda Lave | | | |
