Rabbi Kahane on Parsha Noah, some old jokes on Noah from last week, and Is it proper to fill one’s sentences with “baruch Hashem,” “im yirtzeh Hashem,” and “bli neder”?By Jewish Press Staff and Alan Dershowitz to Newsmax: AG Garland ‘Over the Line,’ Chilling Speech
Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher, and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money, and spiritual engagement.
Where did Noah keep the bees during the flood? In the Ark Hives.
A man who lived by the sea grew a cucumber so large he was able to turn it into his house. One day a bad storm flooded the area with salty seawater and damaged his home. Now he's in a pickle.
What did God say to all the animals during the Great Flood? Don't worry.
I Noah guy Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height ?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed. Sergeant: Color of hair?Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember. Sergeant:What was she wearing?Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly .Sergeant:What kind of car did she go in? Husband: She went in my Jeep. Sergeant: What kind of Jeep was it?Husband: (sobbing) It's a 2010 Rubicon with Sprintex Supercharger with Intercooler, DiabloSport T-1000 Trinity Programmer, Teraflex Falcon 3.3 Shocks ,1350 RE Reel Drive Shafts, Method 105 Bead Locks, Toyo 37" X 13.5" Tires, Custom Olympic Off Road Front Bumper, Olympic Off Road Smuggler Rear Bumper with tire carrier, Seward Radius 4s LED Light, Seward 12" LED Light bar, 50" LED Light bar with, sPod LED switch pod with Boost gage,, Rigid LED Lights, 15# Power Tank, Rock Hard Cage, Rock Hard Under Armor, Posion Spyder Sliders, Posion Spyder Crusher Fenders, Posion Spyder Evap Armor, Posion Spyder Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, Bushwacker rear armor, 5.13 Gears, Magnum 44 Front Axle, Off Road Evolution "C" Gussets, Cobra 75 CB Radio, Warn 10K on Front and 8K Winch on Rear, Bartact Seat Covers, Delta Quad Bar Xenon Headlamps,Tantrum LED Offroad Rock Lights, Teraflex HD Tie Rod, Teraflex Falcon Steering Stabilizer, Teraflex Alpine Long Control Arms Front & Rear, Teraflex 4" springs, Teraflex JK Performance Slotted Big Rotor Kit, TeraFlex Monster HD Forged Front Adjustable Trackbar, Teraflex Front & Rear Brake Line Kit, Teraflex Bump Stops Front & Rear, Surprise Straps, Hothead Headliner, Teraflex D-44 Diff Covers, Wild Boar Grille, Rigid Ridge Hood, Drake Hood Latch's & a Tuffy Security Drawer......(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry. )Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Jeep.
Two old restaurateurs run into each other in the lobby of an office building."How's it going?" asks one."Oof!" says the other. "Business was down from covid, the rent was due, and to top it off there was a fire in the kitchen that burned the whole place down. I'm just here to talk to my insurance agent"."Wow", says the first, "By coincidence I'm here to talk to my agent. Last week a flood hit the restaurant and ruined everything"."So tell me", he whispers, "How do you start a flood?"
The Three Musketeers at the Kotel
Alan Dershowitz to Newsmax: AG Garland 'Over the Line,' Chilling Speech
By Eric Mack(Newsmax) Civil liberties legal expert Alan Dershowitz vowed on Newsmax to defend nonviolent protests at school board meetings after Biden administration Attorney General Merrick Garland mobilized the FBI and U.S. attorneys to "investigate and prosecute" school board protests.
"I'll defend anybody who is chilled in their free speech," Dershowitz told "Saturday Report," denouncing the politicization of the ACLU. "Anybody who wants to protest at school boards and is going to do it nonviolently, can count on me.
"It used to be we were able to count on the American Civil Liberties Union, but they're dead in the water when it comes to issues like this. They ought to be protesting this as well."
While there have been some threats of violence at local school board meetings, Garland should "pull back" on his memo this week threatening to investigate and prosecute school board meeting protests by parents.
"There have been some threats of violence, but not enough to, in my view, justify the extreme measure of sending letters out and calling for FBI investigations," Dershowitz told host Carl Higbie. "So, I think the attorney general – who I generally like and admire – ought to pull back and ought to leave it to local authorities, unless they can make a very strong case of violent denial of civil liberties."
Dershowitz, who has self-described himself as avowed "liberal Democrat" in past Newsmax appearances, came out strongly against race-based teaching in schools, calling it "propaganda" and protests of it should not be considered "domestic terrorism" as some groups have attempted to argue.
"We all think the attorney general should have the right to prevent violence if it's in violation of civil rights; on the other hand, protests about Black Lives Matters, if I had a kid in school, I'd be among the protesters. Black Lives Matter, critical legal studies shouldn't be taught in school," Dershowitz said.
"Critical race theory is anything but critical. It's uncritical of anything that has to do with racial theory and it's propaganda. And I would be among the protesters and I would be vociferous in expressing my views on propagandizing my children, and I'm certainly not a terrorist."
Dershowitz added Garland "in perception, at least, he's gone over the line" in mobilizing the federal Justice Department to investigate local crimes and protests.
Dershowitz made a final note, as he often does, his legal opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his personal or political views.
"My job as a First Amendment civil libertarian is to defend the views of people I despise –defend the views that I disagree with," Dershowitz concluded. "So, I will defend the views of people who say some of the most absurd things because once you can censor absurd things, you can then move on to censor more rational things."
Kahane on the Parsha
NO REST IN THE EXILE
"'And [Noah] sent forth a dove...but the dove found no rest for the sole of its foot, and it returned to him into the ark' (Genesis 8:8-9). Rabbi Shimon said: Had it found a resting place it would not have returned. And similarly does it say: '[Israel] sat among the nations and found no resting place' (Lamentations 1:3). Had they found a resting place they would not have returned to Eretz Yisrael. And similarly: 'And among those nations you shall find no peace, neither shall the sole of your foot have rest' (Deuteronomy 28:65). Had they found a resting place they would have never returned" (Bereishit Rabba 33:6).
The divine proclamation is clear: There will be no rest for the Jew in the Exile because if there would be rest and tranquility and comfort and ease, the Jew would NEVER return to Eretz Yisrael. How well the Rabbis knew the Jews!!!
No amount of Halacha, no amount of admonition, no amount of religious observance would ever convince the overwhelming majority to leave an Exile in which they find ease and rest for the soles of their feet. And that is why there is an iron law of Judaism that decrees that the Exile shall never be anything but a place of terror and fear and tragedy.
I wonder if the average Jew knows how much he is hated in America. I wonder if the average Jew has the slightest knowledge of the immense, deep, poisonous venom that is Jew-hatred in the United States. I doubt it. We live in our ghettos, our increasingly golden ghettos, and see and hear nothing, and we sit satisfied in our glatt isolation that so enables us to escape from the reality of the vicious bile and venom. We live in our worlds of dreams and illusions and know nothing.
Can we imagine what will be if, G-d forbid, there is an economic collapse of massive proportions? Can we imagine what will be if the American economy bursts- an economy that is one huge balloon filled with the gas of huge debt, unbridled spending and borrowing, trade deficit, a banking and savings and loan system that sits on the thin ice of loans that can never be repaid, an economy that is one huge fraud as jobs and products slip away into the Japanese-Asian orbit?
Can we imagine what will be when the violent American who has been hopelessly spoiled by 40 years of unprecedented prosperity and wallowing in the mud of materialism suddenly faces economic ruin? Can we imagine what will happen when the life of three automobiles to a family, VCRs, a TV in each room, vacations, fun, fun, fun - suddenly comes to a screeching stop?
Such a person will become a wild animal, literally incapable of accepting a life of sharp economic displacement. He will follow anyone who promises to restore him to the days of beer and daisies. And the scapegoat will be - the Jew.
And so, I do not even bother any longer to persuade Jews of the halachic obligation to live in Eretz Yisrael, of the positive reason for going there. They will not go. Together they sit in the fleshpots, in a sensational display of Jewish unity against leaving the golden land. Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, ultra-Orthodox, all bound in a pledge of allegiance to the good life and all that for which it stands.
I can only warn them about the ultimate Halachic scholar for the Jew in the Exile. Who is that? Why, surely, the gentile.
The Jewish Press, 1989
Is it proper to fill one's sentences with "baruch Hashem," "im yirtzeh Hashem," and "bli neder"?
It's certainly a good idea to fill one's sentences with im yirtzeh Hashem and baruch Hashem, however it's probably a much better idea to fill one's heart with the concept. And unfortunately what often happens is we get into habits and then the words we often say no longer have the meaning that was once intended.
Anything a Jew engages in should be recognized as a use of the world as Hashem wants it to be used. Any outcome can only succeed with Hashem's direct approval. In that sense the words are very important as a chizuk. However, because the words can become robotic, it's wise to change the words periodically so they have real meaning. I will often change the expressions and say "Thank G-d," or "Please G-d" to waken myself up so it's not a programmatic response.
The words "bli neder," on the other hand, is important to use in the way it was supposed to be used. Any expression of commitment that you will do a mitzvah is binding unless you say "bli neder." Unfortunately, many times a person isn't able to fulfill the commitment and a broken neder has very real consequences in halacha. The words "bli neder" have the effect of stopping it from becoming a vow.
– Rabbi Ben Zion Shafier, founder of The Shmuz
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Genuinely religious people feel the presence of Hashem. They naturally and spontaneously offer blessings. They know that future plans are contingent on the will of Hashem. They often use such phrases as baruch Hashem or im yirtzeh Hashem…and these are sincere expressions of a religiously sensitive person.
If these phrases are used "for show" or to impress others with one's religiosity, then these phrases are counterfeit. Instead of reflecting genuine piety, they reflect hypocrisy.
Whether speaking with a Jew or non-Jew, one should use such phrases carefully and appropriately. One should neither flaunt one's piety nor be ashamed to mention blessing and gratitude to the Almighty.
We learn from religious role models. My grandfather Marco Romey, of blessed memory, used to say "bendicho el Dio" (Ladino for baruch Hashem) on many occasions. When he said it, though, he tended to pause a moment so that the words were said with concentration, not merely mumbled as a formula. He set a good example that all of us would do well to follow.
– Rabbi Marc D. Angel, director of the Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals
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In the Haggadah on Seder night we reference the four sons. The chacham asks, "What are all these laws which G-d commanded 'you'?" The rasha asks, "What is the meaning of all 'your' ritual?" We condemn the rasha because he said, 'your' ritual and excluded himself. He is considered as having denied Hashem's existence.
The question for consideration is that the chacham used a similar expression, "commanded 'you.'" He also seems to exclude himself. Why condemn only the rasha? The answer is because the chacham still kept reference to Hashem in the equation. The rasha ignores any such mention.
The Torah tells us that Yosef's taskmaster (Potiphar) "saw that Hashem was with him." Rashi explain this means that Hashem's name was always on Yosef's lips. In other words, by virtue of always mentioning Hashem's name, he was attributing his success to Above and not his own prowess.
The Mishna (end of Berachos) relates how there was a time that people regularly greeted each other using the Divine name. It is said that the Baal Shem Tov always used expressions like im yirtze Hashem, baruch Hashem, etc., in his conversations which drew people in, and enabled a meaningful impact.
As Rav Kook wrote: "Any word that is drawn from a person's inner desire for holiness – even when it appears to be in simple conversation – is really sourced in the inner essence of a person's will."
– Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet, popular Lubavitch lecturer, rabbi of London's Mill Hill Synagogue
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All day we are constantly saying or texting "baruch Hashem" and "im yirtze Hashem." It's a shame for these words to become vague sentiments when with a little more thought and feeling we can connect to Hashem. Moreover, the often-overlooked reality is that mitzvahs are embedded in these phrases, and having this in mind can generate eternal reward. As the Ran writes, "The difference in reward for one who does a mitzvah with complete kavanah and one who does not cannot be calculated!" So let's look at how you can unlock the power of these phrases:
Baruch Hashem: The usual connotation of this phrase is "Thank G-d." Unfortunately, many of us are unaware that thanking G-d is actually a Torah Commandment (see Rabbeinu Yonah's Shaarei Teshuvah, 3rd Gate, 17; and Sefer Chareidim 9:23). So the next time you say "baruch Hashem" take a couple of seconds and have in mind you are doing a mitzvah to thank Hashem and feel authentic gratitude.
Iy"H / B'ezras Hashem: With this phrase we express our dependency on Hashem to succeed in our endeavors. This too is a Torah commandment: "Remember that it is the L-rd, your G-d, who gives you the power to get wealth…" (Devarim 8:18, see Sefer Chareidim 12:51). The next time you say this phrase, take a moment to feel humility and have in mind the Torah commandment to remember that Hashem is the source of your success.
– Rabbi Asher Baruch Wegbreit is an author of four seforim and founder of Kavana L'Mitzvos Foundation (kavanahlmitzvos.com), an initiative offering tools for deepening our connection to Hashem. He can be reached at RabbiWegbreit@gmail.com
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One of the hallmarks of a Torah Jew is shem shamayim shagur b'piv, discussion of G-d is a part of his lexicon. We find this idea pronounced when Yitzchak attempted to bless Esav and instead bestowed the brachos upon Yaakov; he noticed that the voice was that of Yaakov because he mentioned G-d in his telling over of the events. Hence a major defining point of the descendants of Yaakov is this way of speaking.
Someone who truly and deeply believes that Hashem runs the show in this world will naturally express that reality in his mode of communication, and while doing so deepen his emunah to a greater level. Even someone who is not on the madraigah of a close connection with Hashem will benefit greatly from incorporating these types of phrases into everyday conversation. Over time a greater awareness of G-d will be developed and move towards a greater fulfillment of the verse sh'visi Hashem l'negdi tamid can be accomplished.
– Rabbi Yehoshua Heber is Rav of Khal Tomchai Torah at Yeshiva Torah Vodaath and dayan at Bdatz Mishptai Yisrael