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Berel wrote on his Whatsapp status:
"Last night by the Purim Seuda even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber." He got 400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend Yankel "Where did you go in UBER? The seuda was in your house" A WhatsApp blessing- May your life someday be as good as you make it out to be on Status.
What was Pharaoh's status after the splitting of the sea? In De-Nile
Why did the electrician join Facebook? So he could post his current status. Shani was taking her driver's test.
"You've got to let people know where you're going!" said my driving instructor as we merged on to the expressway... "OK!" She replied and updated my WhatsApp status. The greatest thing about Social Media is that you can quote something and totally make up the source. ~ Julius Caesar
My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff. So I poked her
Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Whatsapp statuses? That's as crazy as the discounts at Moisha's Kosher Grocery…
Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status. He now goes by Mill Gates.
The Israelis are using a new type of rocket that constantly updates its WhatsApp status until it reaches its target. It's an attention-seeking missile.
Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.
Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance. One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff. The first Master Chief was a surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side." The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office. The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear." The Admiral threw him out as well. The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Navy Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?" To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir You wear contact lenses." The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked. The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one ear." An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status."
Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines." | 
