| RABBI SCHWARTZ'S LINEAGE JOKES OF THE WEEK My bloodline has a history of stomach problems. Runs in the family. What do you give a dog that graduates from university? A pedigree I couldn't join the KKK, apparently my bloodline isn't pure enough. Turns out, my parents weren't even related. Native American run deep in my bloodline. That's why I can't grow facial hair. I have Apache beard. A potato had 3 daughters. When they were all grown up, the first one came to her father and said "daddy, daddy, I'm going to get married!" Father potato asked to whom? "To an Idaho potato!" Said the first daughter potato. Father potato said "Idaho potatoes are very hearty and good lineage. He will be a good provider for you, you have my blessing." The second daughter went to her father and said, "daddy, daddy, I'm going to get married!" Father potato asked to whom? "To a sweet potato!" Said the second daughter. Father potato said "sweet potatoes are very loving and will care for you forever. He will be a good provider for you, you have my blessing." The third daughter went to her father and said, "daddy, daddy, I'm going to get married!" Father potato asked to whom? "To Sean Hannity!" Said the third daughter. "Oh no!" Said the father potato, "he's just a commentator!" Fred came home from University in tears. "Mum, am I adopted?" "No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing? Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city. Perturbed, his mother called her husband. "Honey, Fred has done a DNA test, and... and... I don't know how to say this... he may not be our son." "Well, obviously!" he replied. "What do you mean?" "It was your idea in the first place" her husband continued. "You remember, that first night in hospital when the baby did nothing but scream and cry and scream and cry. On and on. And you asked me to change him." "I picked a good one I reckon. Ever so proud of Fred." I wanted to find out more about my ancestors so I did a little digging and... ...got thrown out of the cemetery. What do you call a protestor whose ancestors grew weed? A grass roots activist If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had! An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There was a huge parade I sent that 'Ancestry' site some information on my Family Tree. They sent me back a pack of Seeds, and suggested that I just start Over.. Took an ancestry test and found out I'm 50% Jewish. But I talked them down to 40. What do you call someone with no German ancestry? Guten free. The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes
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