A piece on New York for the world series and 26 Ideas for a happy marriage

26 KEY IDEAS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

1. Keep your mind on your main goal, which is to have a happy marriage. 
2. Say and do what will enable you and your spouse to have a happy marriage. Avoid the opposite. Everything else is commentary.
3. Keep asking yourselves, "What can we do to have a happy, loving atmosphere in our home?"
4. Focus on giving, rather than taking. Say and do as many things as possible to meet your spouse's needs.
5. Keep doing and saying things that will give your spouse a sense of importance.
6. Frequently ask yourself, "What positive things can I say and do to put my (husband or wife) in a positive emotional state?"
7. Before speaking, clarify the outcome you want. The meaning of your communication is the response you actually get.
8.  If the first thing you say is not achieving your goal, change your approach. Remember that mutual respect and happiness is your real goal.
9. Show appreciation and gratitude in as many ways as possible. Say something appreciative a few times a day.
10. Be a good listener. Understand your spouse from his or her point of view.
11. Be considerate of the feelings and needs of your spouse.
12.  Think of ways that you have lacked consideration and be resolved to increase your level of consideration.
13. Instead of blaming and complaining, think of positive ways to motivate your spouse.
14.  If your first strategies aren't effective, think of other creative ways.
15. Give up unrealistic expectations. Don't expect your spouse to be perfect and don't make comparisons.
16. Don't cause pain with words. 
17. If your spouse speaks to you in ways that cause you pain, choose outcome wording, "Let's speak to each other in ways that are mutually respectful."
18. Be willing to compromise. Be willing to do something you would rather not do in return for similar behavior from your spouse.
19. Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Keep adding to the list and reread it frequently.
20. Write a list of your spouse's positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the list and read it frequently.
21. Keep thinking about what you can do to bring out the best qualities of your spouse. Reinforce those qualities with words and action.
22. Focus on finding solutions to any problems that arise. Be solution oriented. Don't just blame and complain.
23.  Don't focus on who is more wrong. For a happy marriage, work together to find mutually acceptable solutions.
24. Remember your finest moments. What did you say and do when you felt best about each other? Increase them.
25. Look for positive activities you can do together.
26. Live in the present. What went wrong in the past is the past. You create the present and future with your thoughts, words, and actions right now. Choose them wisely.

 this along to those I know who grew up in NY but now live elsewhere. All in all, it wasn't such a bad childhood.

 

Read this it has a lot of meaning to it!

 

 

Subject: FW: I am a New Yorker

 

 

If at some time you lived here, you would appreciate this sentiment about the "Big Apple."

I am a New Yorker Iam a New Yorker Ilive in the five boroughs or on the Island or Upstate I went to Queens College I may live hundreds or thousands of miles away Or I may live just over the GW Bridge But I am a New Yorker I am a New Yorker Whatever took me out of New York: Business, family or hating the cold did not take New York out of me. My accent may have faded and my pace may have slowed But I am a New Yorker I am a New Yorker I was raised on Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Rockefeller Plaza, The Yankees or the Met's (Giants or Dodgers) Jones Beach, Rye Beach, Orchard Beach, Sunken Meadowor one of the beaches on the sound I know that 'THE END' means Montauk. Because I am a New Yorker Iam a New Yorker When I go on vacation, I never look up Sky scrapers are something I take for granted The Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty are part of me Taxis and noise and subways and 'get outa heah' don't rattle me Because I am a New Yorker I am a New Yorker I was raised on cultural diversity before it was politically correct I eat Armenian food,Greek food and Italian food, Jewish and Middle Eastern food and Chinese food Because they are all American food to me. I even eat those Bellie whoppers-White Castle's I don't get mad when people speak other languages in my presence Because my relatives got to this country via Ellis Island and chose to stay They were New Yorkers People who have never been to New York have misunderstood me My friends and family work in the industries, professions and businesses that benefit all Americans My firefighters died trying to save New Yorkers and non-New Yorkers They died trying to save Americans and non-Americans Because they were New Yorkers. I am a New Yorker I feel the pain of my fellow New Yorkers I mourn the loss of my beautiful city I feel and dread that New York will never be the same But then I remember: I am a New Yorker And New Yorkers have: Tenacity, strength and courage way above the norm. Compassion and caring for our fellow citizens. Love and pride in our city, in our state, in our country. Intelligence, experience and education par excellence. Ability, dedication and energy above and beyond Faith--no matter what religion we practice. Terrorists hit America in its heart but America 's heart still beats strong. Demolish the steel in our buildings, but it doesn't touch the steel in our souls. Hit us in the pocketbook but we'll parlay what we have left into a fortune. End innocent lives leaving widows and orphans, but we'll take care of them because they are New Yorkers Wherever we live, whatever we do, whoever we are there are New Yorkers in every state and every city of this nation. We will not abandon our city. We will not abandon our brothers and sisters We will not abandon the beauty, creativity and diversitythat New York represents. We are New Yorkers and we are proud to be New Yorkers REMEMBER THE WTC Author - Vincent Pasquale, Maspeth, NY Thank you Vincent for allowing us to share this with our fellow New Yorkers all around the world. Only those that grew up or lived in NYC can understandthe meaning of this: THERE I S NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S 'UPTOWN' OR 'DOWNTOWN.' IF YOU'REREALLY FROM NEW YORK , YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH ARE... AND EAST OR WEST IS 'CROSS-TOWN.' YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE AN EGG CREAM. YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE. YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY. YOU KNOW WHAT A 'REGULAR' COFFEE IS. IT'S NOT MANHATTAN ...IT'S THE 'CITY.' YOU CROSS THE STREET ANY WHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT. YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM THE BRONX BROOKLYN ,OR LONG ISLAND, THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH. YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOUWANT ARE A 'REAL' PIZZA FROM DENINOS OR JOE & PATS, AND A 'REAL' BAGEL. A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE. YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY. YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY. YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUP MENUS: CHINESE, ITALIAN, MEXICAN OR INDIAN. YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE. YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING IS IN EFFECT. YOU KNOW WHAT (AND WHERE) A BODEGA IS. SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET. YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE STREET HAVING A PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF. YOU PAY 'ONLY' $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR. YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST . LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR. YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP. (this always amazed me.) THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER. THAT'S NEW YORK , BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!