parade of interesting pics...for the bible section on Noah and the Ark

LESSONS FROM NOAH'S ARK

Don't miss the boat
Build on high ground
If you can't fight or flee -- float!
For safety's sake, travel in pairs
Stay below deck during the storm
Don't forget that we're all in the same boat
Don't listen to critics - do what has to be done
If you have to start over, have a friend by your side
Plan ahead ... It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark
Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth
When things get really deep, don't sit there and complain--shovel!!!
Remember the woodpeckers.  An inside threat is often bigger than the one outside
Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board but ... so were the snails
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big

In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah,

who was now living in the United States, and said:

'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated,

and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.'

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:

'You have six months to build the Ark

before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.'

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Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -

but no Ark.

'Noah!'  He roared, 'I'm about to start the rain!  Where is the Ark?'

'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed.

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I needed a building permit.

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I've been arguing with the inspector

about the need for a sprinkler system.

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My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws

by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.

We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

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Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted

for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions,

to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.

I told them that the sea would be coming to us,

but they would hear nothing of it.

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Getting the wood was another problem.

There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.

I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -

but no go!

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When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.

They argued the accommodations were too restrictive,

and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

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Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark

until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

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I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission

on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

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Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status

of most of the people who want to work.

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The trade unions say I can't use my sons.

They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

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To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets,

claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

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So, forgive me, Lord,

but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.'

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Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,

and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

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Noah looked up in wonder and asked,

'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'

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'No,' said the Lord.

'The government beat me to it, on this second of the government shutdown.

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