Why                                                          doesn't Tarzan                                                          have a beard                                                          when he lives                                                          in the jungle                                                          without a                                                          razor?
                                                             
                                                          Why do we                                                          press harder                                                          on a remote                                                          control when                                                          we know the                                                          batteries are                                                          flat? 
                                                             
                                                          Why do banks                                                          charge a fee                                                          on                                                          'insufficient                                                          funds' when                                                          they know                                                          there is not                                                          enough?
                                                             
                                                          Why do                                                          Kamikaze                                                          pilots wear                                                          helmets?
                                                             
                                                          Why does                                                          someone                                                          believe you                                                          when you say                                                          there are four                                                          billion stars,                                                          but check when                                                          you say the                                                          paint is wet? 
                                                             
                                                          Whose idea was                                                          it to put an                                                          'S' in the                                                          word 'lisp'?
                                                             
                                                          What is the                                                          speed of                                                          darkness? 
                                                             
                                                          Why is it that                                                          people say                                                          they 'slept                                                          like a baby'                                                          when babies                                                          wake up every                                                          two hours? 
                                                             
                                                          
                                                          If the                                                          temperature is                                                          zero outside                                                          today and it's                                                          going to be                                                          twice as cold                                                          tomorrow, how                                                          cold will it                                                          be? 
                                                             
                                                          Do married                                                          people live                                                          longer than                                                          single ones or                                                          does it only                                                          seem longer?
                                                             
                                                          How is it that                                                          we put man on                                                          the moon                                                          before we                                                          figured out it                                                          would be a                                                          good idea to                                                          put wheels on                                                          luggage? 
                                                             
                                                          Why do people                                                          pay to go up                                                          tall buildings                                                          and then put                                                          money in                                                          binoculars to                                                          look at things                                                          on the ground? 
                                                             
                                                          
                                                          Did you ever                                                          stop and                                                          wonder...... 
                                                             
                                                          Who was the                                                          first person                                                          to look at a                                                          cow and say,                                                          'I think I'll                                                          squeeze 
                                                             these pink                                                          dangly things                                                          here, and                                                          drink whatever                                                          comes out?' 
                                                             
                                                          Who was the                                                          first person                                                          to say, 'See                                                          that chicken                                                          there... I'm                                                          gonna eat the                                                          next thing                                                          that comes                                                          outta it's                                                          bum.' 
                                                             
                                                          Why do                                                          toasters                                                          always have a                                                          setting so                                                          high that                                                          could burn the                                                          toast to a                                                          horrible                                                          crisp, which                                                          no decent                                                          human being                                                          would eat? 
                                                             
                                                          Why is there a                                                          light in the                                                          fridge and not                                                          in the                                                          freezer? 
                                                             
                                                          Why do people                                                          point to their                                                          wrist when                                                          asking for the                                                          time, but                                                          don't point to                                                          their bum when                                                          they ask where                                                          the bathroom                                                          is? 
                                                             
                                                          Why does your                                                          Obstetrician,                                                          Gynaecologist                                                          leave the room                                                          when you get                                                          undressed if                                                          they are going                                                          to look up                                                          there anyway? 
                                                             
                                                          Why does Goofy                                                          stand erect                                                          while Pluto                                                          remains on all                                                          fours? They're                                                          both dogs ! 
                                                             
                                                          If quizzes are                                                          quizzical,                                                          what are                                                          tests? 
                                                             
                                                          If corn oil is                                                          made from                                                          corn, and                                                          vegetable oil                                                          is made from                                                          vegetables,                                                          then what is                                                          baby oil made                                                          from? 
                                                             
                                                          If electricity                                                          comes from                                                          electrons,                                                          does morality                                                          come from                                                          morons? 
                                                             
                                                          Why do the                                                          Alphabet song                                                          and Twinkle,                                                          Twinkle Little                                                          Star have the                                                          same tune? 
                                                             
                                                          Stop singing                                                          and read                                                          on...... 
                                                             
                                                          Do illiterate                                                          people get the                                                          full effect of                                                          Alphabet Soup? 
                                                             
                                                          Did you ever                                                          notice that                                                          when you blow                                                          in a dog's                                                          face, he gets                                                          mad at you,                                                          but when you                                                          take him on a                                                          car ride, he                                                          sticks his                                                          head out the                                                          window? 
                                                             
                                                          Does                                                          pushing the                                                          elevator                                                          button more                                                          than once make                                                          it arrive                                                          faster?