When you try to help others overcome their sadness, don't demand perfection. Don't expect to always be successful in cheering up every person every time you try. Demanding such perfection will lead to discouragement when you are not successful.
It is not realistic to expect perfection, but if you personally master an optimistic outlook on life and try to cheer up others, you have a chance of succeeding frequently. Be grateful for your successes, even partial ones, and learn from instances when you were unsuccessful.
Love Yehuda Lave
CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing
didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month..
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The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold
them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard
only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up
the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can
go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some
juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in..
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it
or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo,
Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home
five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number
where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child
isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the
coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
allowance!
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Pass this on to everyone you know who has children .. . .. or everyone who
KNOWS someone who has had children. ...
(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)
GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live
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After all of these years of Jews eating Chinese, Chinese decide to return the favor.
by Mark MillerPublished: April 12, 2015You know the old expression: "The only certainties in life are death, taxes, and Jews eating Chinese food on Christmas Eve." Well, I may have tweaked the expression a bit, but it's still true. So, it's only fair that the Chinese have now decided to eat Jewish food on their holidays. A shock, I know, but not quite one of the signs of the Apocalypse. And I would have never known about it if not for my subscription to the Chinese Jewish Times. Before we explore this latest development, though, let's take a look back at how the whole Jewish/Chinese cuisine connection started.
Note to self: develop "Fortune Rugelach"; it could be big.Set your time machine to 1910, New York, Lower East Side, where Jews and Chinese were the two largest non-Christian immigrant groups. Plus, Chinese restaurants were open Sundays and holidays when other restaurants would be closed. There, Jews wanting to assimilate into American life found acceptance and a whole new food beyond their familiar kosher cuisine. And while Jewish law prohibits the mixing of dairy and meat dishes, this was no problem in Chinese restaurants, where dairy is not generally one of the ingredients. Of course it didn't take long before kosher restaurants were serving Chinese food, providing employment for countless Chinese chefs. American Chinese community: You're welcome!
In any case, it was only a question of time before some curious Chinese folks said to themselves, "Hey, if the Jews are getting this much pleasure out of our food, don't we owe it to ourselves to at least try theirs?" A vote was taken, an exploratory committee was formed, and a date set to venture forth into a chopsticks-free zone, a Jewish neighborhood, and go where few Chinese had gone before – to a Jewish deli.
Immediately, the committee was struck by the similarities between Chinese and Jewish deli cuisine. Before even entering the deli, members of the committee noticed that while there were no smoked ducks hanging in the front window, there were hanging salamis and bolognas. There were no egg rolls to be found, but there were blintzes. No won ton soup, but there was matzoh ball soup. No egg foo young, but plenty of lox and eggs. Both cuisines even featured their own versions of whitefish. And the deli even had its own version of Chinese Chicken Salad called, creatively, Chinese Chicken Salad.
Of course, there were clear differences as well. Obviously, not a shred of shrimp, lobster or crab to be found in the Jewish deli. No colorfully named dishes like Ants Climbing Trees. And, of course, no dessert items containing one's fortune on tiny bits of paper. (Note to self: develop Fortune Rugelach; it could be big). No dishes named after military leaders, such as General Tsao's Chicken. No chicken and mushroom dishes exotically called Moo Goo Gai Pan. No dishes named to make pre-teen boys crack up, such as Pu Pu Platter. No food items meant to be spooned onto thin pancakes before consuming, such as Moo Shu Beef.
Still, the historical connection between the two groups was there, the committee found the food tasty and exotic in comparison, the waiters friendly, and the meat plentiful. They returned to their headquarters and wrote up a report recommending that the Chinese try Jewish deli food on Christmas. This past Christmas was the first year this occurred, with some Chinese trying Jewish deli food on Christmas Eve. Here are some initial comments from the Chinese after having experienced their first Jewish deli Christmas Eve meal:
"I enjoyed it overall, though it was a bit bland. I missed my favorite sauces: soy, oyster, black bean, garlic, chili, sesame and hoisin. Not to mention Star Anice, Five Spice and soybean paste. The big miracle is not how the Hanukkah candles stayed lit for eight days; it's how Jews can cook and eat without using our delicious sauces and spices!" – Jerry Ho.
"Our waitress reminded me of my mother. She told me I was too skinny and needed to eat more. And she told me to sit up straight, stop checking my email on my cell phone, and eat with an appetite. And she referred to me as 'Bubbeleh.' What does that mean?" --Eddie Fong.
"Admit it – Jews put something addicting in the bagels and lox. Because since I tried it on Christmas Eve, I have to have it every morning for breakfast. My friends think I'm becoming Jewish. They offered to chip in to have a bar mitzvah for me, but I told them a 47 year old man is too old to have a bar mitzvah. Isn't he?" – Brian Chen.
"I liked the matzoh ball soup. It's everything I look for in a romantic partner – warm, comforting, tasty, and always there when I need it. Are soups copyrighted? Because I'm seriously thinking of producing a Chinese version of matzoh ball soup for our restaurants. I think it could catch on." --Cathy Lee.
"I learned the difference between knish, kreplach and kugel. My ancestors would be so proud of me." – Jennifer Yang.
"I have been a fisherman for 27 years and have never spotted a gefilte fish until this past Christmas Eve at Shlomo's Deli." -- Vincent Cheung.
The Chinese decision to eat Jewish food on their holidays can only be a good thing for promoting world peace and understanding. I would therefore like to extend an invitation to our fellow citizens from Italy, Mexico, Spain, Thailand, Guatemala, Russia, Germany, Ireland, Sweden, Egypt, New Zealand, France, and any other country – to try our Jewish food on one of your slower holidays. You might be pleasantly surprised, learn something interesting, and in a small way promote something good among nations. In fact, I think I'll head out to a Cuban place right now. I could use a mojito with some sweet plantains. But, then, who couldn't?
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